Memory.

Hey guys, I'm BP2 and I just wanted to ask how common memory difficulties are with this disorder.

My memory doesn't necessarily just fail me when I have a racey mind when manic for example, but even when I'm stable. It interferes with daily life (even more so when I started quetiapine (seroquel)) and I try to make the best of what I have to deal with, but it seems stress triggers it even more.

Examples are forgetting where I am going on a car journey, memory blanks where I can't remember names, dates, the year we are in. I lose my car keys almost every time I get out of the car (before I have left the car!!). I know that forgetfulness is part and part with normal brains, but I'm not on about little glitches I'm talking about something that affects me 24/7 and is making my life extremely difficult. I have post it notes everywhere, especially at work, I have to make a list every morning of thins to do or else I will wonder around aimlessly not knowing that I had planned for the day. The majority of conversations it have with people I forget, and I have to explain myself to people when they get offended when I have no idea what we have talked about for the past hour. It's not that I don't listen, I'm a great listener, it's just like my brain can't seem to retain information.

Are you guys the same or is it something that I'm going to have to take up seriously with my doctor?

Megan x

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Hey Megan,

I'm happy to chime in here and say that you are definitely not alone in experiencing memory loss. It has been reported to me by more than one person close to me that when I am experiencing a mood swing, my memory becomes absolutely terrible.

Planned events with my girlfriend are forgotten and I have to keep asking her what is going on... I get lost with my day and forget where I am... (just like you!)

And then they come right again when my mood stabilizes.

Go well.

Jared

Yes, baby, Yes Not so much where I am, but where Im going. I will go to Wal-Mart knowing I needed to go somewhere else as well. I will forget to go somewhere else. LOL I just laugh it off.

I will forget what Im saying while Im saying. Ive been getting horrible headaches lately and that has made it all the worse. I will put soap in the washing machine, turn around and start the dyer instead. LOL (yep did it once.)

Some is medication, some is to many irons in the fire, some is my age, some is bi-polar, some if racing thoughts......it could be a number of factors my friend. All in all, it sucks. Learn to laugh about it, nothing else you can do.

I also forget what I'm saying while I'm saying it. Or I reverse things like "you call me from my cell phone and I'll call you from yours." Whaaaa?? That was yesterday as I was planning a play date for my son.

Or I start a story and jump all the way to the end like the person can see inside my memory and they always go "wait...what?".

I'm late for everything because I misplace everything. My last p-doc appt. I had to cancel because I just could not find my keys. I looked and looked for an hour. Turns out they were right there hanging on the halltree, where I always keep them.

I didn't tell a soul about that. Until now.

Laugh at yourself. I do all the time.

Get this one - I took off my glasses went into the bathroom to take my contact out. It wasnt until I opened my case and saw them there, did I realized want I did.

Bipolar, got to love it.

I have major memory problems. I think it's caused by being.bp, being.on the medications and the trauma I endured as a child. The constant emotional abuse made my brain not develop properly. I've done research on it. When yr constantly in fight or flight yr brain runs on emotion and the logical, memory part of the brain gets really under developed. I'm so sorry you have to struggle with this too. It really bothers me. I forget movies I've seen, forget dates and forget simple tasks at work. Ur not alone! I wish there was a pill to improve memory. Sometimes I feel like I am developing dementia.

Some of the memory issues just do seem to be"Bipolar "

But your medication can always be a big part of it to. Talk to your Pdoc about just how difficult your life is due to the memory issues and see if any changes can be made to help you. You dont have to settle for this type of possible side effects.

Advocate for yourself

wow that makes me feel tonnes better!

Other guys dont even seem to understand it they just think im ignorant or I dont listen when im genuinely not aware of whats been said/heard/done lol! I do try to laugh at myself as much as I can, particularly at work... every time I go in the canteen to get myself some hot water for some tea, I come back a few minutes later and my cup is empty!! every single time... who knows what i do in there...

Its scary when you forget 'not to speed' when driving or other dangerous things im constantly having to remind myself not to put my foot down and not forget that im driving!

Also, I have blackouts in memory as well, usually in episodes of overwhelming emotion like anger or anxiety. Ive often hurt myself or OD'd and not even remembered it afterwards. Like when you wake up trying to remember a dream and you know you have had one but just cannot for the life of you bring the dream forward??? I think this type of memory blank is mor to do with dissociation though x

My memory is crap now, which is one of the reasons why I'm no longer nursing. The last six months of my career, I literally lived in fear of making a horrible mistake because I couldn't multi-task anymore and I was so easily distracted by all the noise and busyness of a nursing unit. Phones, families, doctors calling, people asking me all kinds of questions---especially when passing medications!---would just send me into a tailspin and I very nearly made several serious medication errors before I realized I couldn't do it anymore.

So yeah, I can relate to the memory loss thing. I think part of it's my bipolar, part of it's meds, and part of it is aging.

My memory started declining while I was on Lithium. At first even though I always had an impeccable memory, I could find the humour when I tried, but it just steadily declined until it affected everything and drove me nuts, not to mention affected my self-esteem badly...

At one point I had to write down 3 items to purchase at a corner shop across the road, when I've never needed an entire shopping list when going to a mall before. I couldn't retain any information and it was really embarrassing. What killed it for me was that I forgot chunks of my extensive vocabulary and had to eventually relearn definitions and spellings, not only that, but I actually sustained some permanent gaps. In a nutshell, Lithium actually made me stupid at the end of the day. Apparantly I'm in the minority and meds don't usually stupify us. Either that or others don't admit it, are in denial, or are so affected that they don't even realize they've been dumbed down.
My point being... meds probably may not do to you what it did to me

But if you are sure there's a correlation with a med and your suddenly diminishing memory, well then I suggest a word with your pdoc to see if there is a better alternative than getting lost in your own car.

My memory started improving steadily after getting rid of the Lithium and besides the normal issues with racing thoughts and forgetting what I wanted to say or where I put something, I haven't had any "impacting my daily life" grade issue since.
My mega memory has officially been restored!

I'm really sorry you're experiencing this, I hope there's a workable solution for you.

I totally agree with this statement

I'm on seroquel as well as klonopins. . I feel these distort my memory... I use to be the jack of all trades at my job before medication... now I'm a boring person.. i can either do the task at hand way way way better then the next guy or way way worse.. I'm not equal at anything.... taking a 40 ton crane and putting something lite in a slot that has literally no gap for clearance without a single person touching it made everyone almost pee their pants... no one's done that.. and I could do it again... yet other things I'm not good at.at all

Thank God I'm not the only one. I looked (spent some time) looking on the internet at how such medications can affect memory. I came away believing it does indeed. Then I wondered if it would get even worse with age. and I am unsure about that. Maybe because other old age things can come about as well. I read about this and that chemical in the brain, this and that place, and still do not get it.

Thank you Lord. This thread has given me much relief. I thought I might be working on early dementia. Thank you for posting. Sorry we have to endure this but you all kinda just made my day.

ME TOO>>> I have a Bachelors in Network Engineering In Cisco. I was just tested, my memory is now below average. I cant remember half of the conservations I have. I just goof with people and say if its not about me, its not important enough for me to remember. lol Its very frustrating to help with homework, remembering facts. I have a dictionary next to my computer. UUUGGGHHHH

I have a terrible memory also. My husband is always reminding me of things and I am constantly losing things. I always say if I was the sole witness to a crime, no matter how many details or how close I am, I could report little to nothing. It's sad really. I'm sorry you're experiencing this so strongly.

Seriously, what a relief this thread has been. Am 55 and also worried about early dementia. I forget things in the past, movies I have seen, books I have read, etc. I am good on the day to day stuff, but i do put everything in my phone.

I've been this way for years, even before meds. Hopefully it's just a bipolar trait, childhood stress, age, or meds.

What I hope it's not the cognitive decline that happens to bipolar brains overtime. I'm not ready for that.

It was the severe memory issues that I started having that led up to my psychologist suggesting I get a full neuropsychological evaluation. I locked myself out of my car 6 times in 3 months, lost my keys twice in that same period, forgot entire conversations, forgot directions of work from my boss, the whole gamut. I was in a car accident in 2010 that resulted in PTSD, but I was also pretty physically injured, including a bad concussion. I was terrified that my memory problems were because of some permanent brain injury now rearing its head and that I would never make it into grad school, and my life as I knew it was over, and etc. etc. etc.

So I went and got a full neuropsych eval done. It turns out that cognitively, I am 100% fine, tested average or above average on all tests of memory, intelligence, executive functioning, and attention. At the same time, this is also how I found out I have BP I. They attributed my memory problems to stress triggering my PTSD and BP symptoms. So like you, stress is my Achilles' heel.

So even though I found out unexpectedly that I have BP, it was VERY reassuring to know that cognitively, there's nothing wrong physically with my memory. I'm not "brain damaged," it's not permanent, I'm not some "shell of my former self." It's just stress getting in the way. I have no idea if Seroquel is making your memory worse, maybe a little research into journal articles on it?

If you really want to find out for sure about your memory though, it might be an option to get a neuropsychological eval. It was covered by my insurance just fine, and I really believe it's one of the best decisions I've ever made for my mental and emotional health. It's good to know for sure, because then you can deal with it appropriately. It relieved a significant amount of stress just hearing how well my cognitive test results were! Now for the never ending task of reducing stress...