Struggling!!!!!!!

So I'm really struggling today with paranoia, other delusions too, but the paranoia is the worst. Got an appointment with NP Wednesday, August 13 which I just changed from the original appointment on August 18. It's strange because while I know the paranoia and delusions aren't real I can't seem to shake them. Stressfull!!! Ugh!!!! Well, guess I'll suffer till Wednesday seeing as that's the earliest they could book me for her. Sooooo tired of fighting this. Can't wait to see NP next week.

Hi,
I am also struggling with paranoia. It is exhausting and confusing. I am trying to use cognitive therapy to change those nuro pathways. It is not easy and is time consuming. In the meantime, it is amazing how real the paranoia is despite what my intellect tells me. All this to say, I can relate and I hope your appointment goes well. Good luck!

right now find any distraction you can find .. music? reading ? exercise? Any thing your can think of that can help stop the constant paranoia ... Im sorry your not able to be seen earlier

Hugs Melisssad

Seems like were in the same boat. I've been fighting with paranoia and delusions since last week and am currently sitting it out until Monday which was the soonest I can see my pdoc. Hope you can get through it... try distracting yourself it helps sometimes with me

Doing some poetry writing. Earlier I exercised, read, and took a nap.

I'm right there with you. I see my doc on Tue. I'm quite confused on what my current state is though. It's almost like everything became so intense that it made me numb and for the past few days I haven't felt anything. I did some writing too.

I find that really helps. BP minds can be so imaginative but that's also a trait that can get us in trouble.

Glad you did some things to distract you. Hope you're feeling better.

It's good to not feel alone...but sorry to those who are also struggling. Writing has been really helpful. It's the one thing that's bringing me somewhat out of the paranoia. Not going out though tonight...can't shake it enough to do that. Oh well...can only expect so much...right?

I've been paranoid for awhile. Try to hold on to the fact it's not true. I know for me it gets worse at night so try to go to bed early if you can.

Yeah I have been out before 10pm from Wednesday night...hopefully tonight too.

Grrr! Couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting tired around 830 or 9. About 915 realized hadn't taken nighttime meds and I was getting more and more paranoid. I normally take nighttime meds at 7ish when I have dinner but we went out to eat. Fudge!!!!! I absolutely hate the way things are.

Hang in there. Paranoia is an awful state of mind to be in. I agree with many of the above posts. Try to distract yourself and ground yourself in reality. Only five more days and you will see your NP. I know that feel like an eternity when you are so tired of it but it will come soon. Take care and keep posting if it helps.

Very paranoid this morning took meds a bit earlier this morning. Thinking about taking an extra 1/2 of the AP. Taking grandma to church this afternoon...really need to greatly reduce the paranoia. Don't think the 1/2mg I took is going to hack it. Leary about deciding this on my own especially with my history with using meds to hurt myself but it really is necessary to function later. Eh, I'll just leave it the way it is with just the 0.5 mg I already took this morning. I just don't feel right changing the dosage myself without permission from NP.

Soo sorry I rambled a bit but it was keeping the paranoia down a little.

Thinking of you Melisssad and hoping you keep doing your writing and taking your meds to get thru. Keep posting here!

Definitely taking meds! Just not adjusting them myself. Have a feeling we may be switching AP's this week. Don't know what to but she she really doesn't want to increase the one I'm on too much because of side effects. So...kinda anxious to see her again. Been sleeping on and off all morning. It's a little after noon here. Guess I need to get up and ready for the day.

I'll be back later!

Paranoia is pretty strong right now and I have to leave the house in a half an hour. Grrr!

I'm so dead tired from fighting this paranoia. Watching TV with grandma while my parents are out.

Super restless tonight. The paranoia has amped up a lot! Grrr! We are switching my AP when I see NP Wednesday. The med adjustment she did Wednesday last week is doing NOTHING now.

What are you doing to keep yourself occupied? Can you go for a walk, journal, read, watch TV?

It's almost midnight here. Not much I can do. Don't want to write...a large part of my mind is very, VERY paranoid. If I write now the paper will come to life and make me it's slave by blackmailing me with all the stuff I wrote. There's a very small part of me that knows that is not true but it still seems very true.

It sounds like your antipsychotic isn't working for you. I'll be having you in my thoughts. Please take care of yourself.

PS: Do you have a backup plan if this gets worse for you?

It's always really bad at night. It seems to alleviate quite a bit in the day time. Nope...no plan...just hold on till Wednesday. If it gets worse I'll call the office Monday and see what I can do. But at least gotta hold on till Monday.

We're all pulling for u and some of us no what psychosis is like

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Paranoia still present but not nearly as strong and heavy as yesterday. Slept ok last night. Though it was pretty difficult to fall asleep. I've been logging all the paranoid and sometimes grandiose thoughts I have. Not sure if NP will want to see that but I have it all logged just in case. My sleep is dropping off in terms of quantity but the quality is still decent.

Anyway hoping today is a quieter day in term of paranoia but I guess time will tell.

That's good news. Be sure to take good care of yourself with regular meals and snacks to keep your blood sugar balanced.