What can I do?

I had a major depressive episode about three years ago now that resulted in me being hospitalized (they did nothing for me while I was there) and ever since I've pretty much lost all interest in everything, including things I love. I also do not feel anymore, I don't feel depressed, I don't feel happy, I just feel "there". I've been tried on just about every SSRI there is at maximium dosages with no effect, my doctor is now trying me on a SNRI (Effexor 225mg) and that isn't making any difference either. I also cannot focus to do anything such as reading or studying, which is going to be a problem because I'm planning on starting college in Spring of 2015. She tried Ritalin 20mg SR and that did nothing for me and I'm now on Adderall 10mg which is doing nothing. I've had severe insomnia since I was about 14 (I'm 32 now) and treatments were helping it but now nothing seems to help, I'm currently taking Seroquel 400mg, I take it around 10pm, lay down around 11pm, finally fall asleep around 12:30-1am and wake up 6 or more times a night. Something new has started with sleep medicines here lately too, just about everyone I've tried, they cause severe RLS. So far Seroquel is the only one that responds to RLS treatment, requip at 3mg. I also have anxieties and have been tried on many different medicines with no effect.

What can I do, suggest to my doctor, whatever that will help me function again?

Welcome to the Community, saxile. My suggestion is for you to print a copy of your post for your doctor. The current treatment does not seem to be working. Adjustments may need to be made.

I wish you well.

Since drugs arent helping, have you tried psychotherapy? or cognitive behavioral therapy? positive thinking? Smoking weed? (hey, it helped me for months stay stable in a depression episode.)

Weed does help Pawn and my doctor supports it's use but it isn't legal in my state and the street stuff around here is very dirty. I'm in therapy too but I can't really focus on her without zoning out.

I was just thinking the same thing... therapy, counseling. Have you tried those? I hope you find something helpful to you.

I also have treatment resistant depression. I've become ever more emotionally numb, my memory and focus has been deteriorating for some time now. My pdoc has recommended TMS for awhile, several months, years maybe - I've been depressed for so long, and the constant stress. I finally agreed but my insurance will make me jump through hoops.

I'd suggest reducing the stress in your life, engaging socially, reading non-fiction that is somewhat demanding of your attention, exercising, multi vitamin/mineral supplement (I recommend Twinlab dual tabs), fish oil supplement, abstaining from refined sugars/processed foods, a diet of whole foods (brown rice, quinoa, oatmeal, beans, lintils, vegatables, fresh fruit, nuts, honey, seeds, spinach, coconut oil, ginger, egg whites, chicken, some steak, etc), and seeing if you can get TMS treatment.

I've been seeing some improvements from diet, exercise, and reading. I know I should get back to relearning algebra, it really helped improve working memory, but the motivation I had to do so is no longer present. I was preparing for another semester of college, it was a tiring effort, but I could not attend because I was, and still am, unable to secure transport. Sigh..tried so hard, struggled with the algebra through fall, most of spring.. I guess I just want to convey that I may comprehend some of the stress you are probably experiencing.

The social aspect is personally daunting for me, but I have read enough abstracts on phys.org over the years to understand the more the brain is engaged in activities the more adept it can become in those activities. I should also see a CBT but, again, transportation issues.

Another possibility to consider, with skepticism and extensive reservations, is a supplement called Sensoril. Some studies indicate it might aid in improving certain aspects of cognition in individuals with bipolar such as auditory processing and working memory. I don't know if it works and probably won't be able to know for a great deal of time. Nearly all of the alternative treatments are pure snake oil though, so don't get fooled into believing any of the BS marketing. The only reason I even bothered considering Sensoril is that the plant extract it is derived from (ashwaganda/withania semnifera) has its origins in Indian medicine that has been in use for ages. Also, green tea has shown some promise in improving working memory in a short-term basis, not merely because of caffeine content. Get tea leaves, not bags.

That's about all I know on how to battle the cognitive decline severe depressive episodes of bipolar can have. I'm still trying to figure it out ><.

My psych has never suggested TMS but it is available near me and the doctor that runs the place is in-network with my insurance but I don't know if TMS is covered by my insurance as it's pretty limited. I have a medicare advantage plan so getting newer treatments is difficult.

I really have no stress in my life other than my wife and I both being on disability and not having very much income so we really can't afford to do things or get things that aren't necessities. She is currently in school and starting to get more stable with meds so she is going to try to go back to work soon. I want to too but in my current state I cannot function to do school even though I'm going to attempt. I've tried doing the practice placement tests and cannot focus to get through five questions let alone the thirty six there are.

Well, went to my doctor today and talked to her for a little bit. She agrees with me that I'm not bipolar for one, I'm unipolar instead. She also is trying me on two new meds and is upping my sleep med.