[Feelinwobbly]

My wife made a comment on Saturday about how she wishes I was as secure in myself and on the same 'level' as her. She was about 5 beers into it. I cant stop the angry racing thoughts. I should be over it, but I feel like it is overrunning my mind.

Suggestions.

[Silent Void]

Wobbly

That wasn't very nice. That's how I interpret it. You should ask her precisely what she meant by that.

[Angry1541]

either what Silent Void said, you just stop reading into and let it be what it is -- she expressed her feelings to you and it allows you the opportunity for dialog and grow with her.

I know it's hard...I tend to get angry and defensive at first and have to calm down to get to the nut of the issue and be able to discuss it and work out where both of us can grow from the moment.

[pommybt]

So getting angry and defensive is part of Bipolar?

[Angry1541]

I can't say one or the other -- but I think it's common for most anyone, but in particular people already not the best with emotional states to react defensively when feeling slighted or attacked.

[Feelinwobbly]

@pommybt I have no education to back this claim but I think angry and defensive is a fairly common symptom of BPD. From what I have read it is more common with people who suffer from Bipolar II and can be an indicator of hypomania.

[newtothis31]

That's natural- she's your wife- you want to feel supported & loved. Having these conversations while she's drinking is most likely not fair to either one of you. When it happens- I'd try to remember the setting and think, "If this is still bothering me- I can bring it up later."
Have you tried having a discussion with your wife about it?

[Feelinwobbly]

I tried to talk with her last night. She was pissed off that " I took what she said the wrong way" There was no suggestion as to how I should have taken it.

I am flawed in many ways but I try to improve. My m/o has been to ignore and suppress . There has been hurtful comments from both sides in the past and when discussing issues my Wife usually defaults to being hateful and rubbing salt in any wound she can find.

I think I should try to put the incident behind me.

I am slowly reading and working through a book about Mindful Thinking. I don't know how she intended the comment and probably never will. Only thing that can change is the way I react and think about the situation/conversation.

[pommybt]

I just got told to use my brain by my partner.

[Feelinwobbly]

I think maybe my problem could be using 'too much brain'

[pommybt]

I do use my brain, well I try to, but not in the right way!

[Angry1541]

Yeah...I think burying it is a bad idea....but maybe your wife is like me and says stuff sometimes that is only part of a thought....and maybe part of a thought is not ever completed....just an off hand comment -- that if she really drilled down to its intention she'd find it was just a feeling in a single moment and not something that pervasive.

IDK -- I do this a lot.