No sleep

Up all night with tears in my eyes wondering what can I **** up next. Don't have any friends anymore. Pushed my family away. Wife is just waiting for divorce paperwork. Damn I don't even feel like breathing..

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Do you have a safety plan? I suggest taking a nice walk, if you're able. Listen to some uplifting music. Call a close friend or family member to talk. If you need to there are suicide hotlines. If you get counseling at all, your counseling center should have an on call available to talk to.

Not sure what the details of your circumstances are. Sometimes we require a process of rebuilding with people we have pushed away or pissed off. Any chance of slowly rebuilding with friends or family?

I can relate... I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
I strongly suggest three things that have helped me:
1) reach out to people, any people, make friends and talk. Go to a support group, etc.
2) stay busy! Whenever I'm depressed, if I sit around and think about my problems, my depression spirals down the toilet. If I stay busy, my mood lifts and I am too busy to dwell on my problems.
3) talk to a Pdoc about adjusting your meds to help with your mood and sleeping.

Sick and tired...done dealing with this...

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Bryc33 man, I hope you can get some sleep and eat a decent meal. That will help you feel more stable at the moment and catch your breath before the next round of coping.

I am pretty much considered cancer to everyone. Bring everyone down.

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Get ye to the gym and use that membership Mr. Bryc33. It will help you feel better. Do you see your kids daily? How old are they? They need to see dad taking care of himself as best he can. It will make you feel better about yourself too if you are doing what you can.

So you have a lot of issues. You're not alone. I'm sure not every day is a lousy day. Usually these things come and go.

Do you have one person you can reach out to?