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#1
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I'm a respected medical personnel in charge of lab testing for Nursing at 5 major hospitals in a large metropolitan area. Although most of my Bipolar symptoms are pretty stable I still have an issue at times of talking before I think. Then there are the consequences to me saying something I probably shouldn't have in front of some of the nursing administration. Unfortunately for me most of the time, I'm a very direct person, many times that gets me in trouble.
I can't change today. Guess I need to work harder on being more "political". The only plus side is my current boss is much more forgiving than my former director. He did voice his concerns and suggested I come across as more of a "team player". But was very nice about it considering that they gave him such a hard time. Well, tomorrow is another day. I'll try to do better to keep my mouth shut. Something I need to remember to do every day. Belle |
![]() Hopeful Camel, notALICE
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#2
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Hang in there and continue to try hard to communicate better at work. I know it's tough, but it's better to
have one than not. Are you seeing a pdoc and tdoc? I'm middle aged. This has completely blind sided me. It contributed to my unemployment now and in the past on numerous occasions. It's also now hindering me from gaining employment. I'm no longer the confident, smart, and career/job focused person that I once was that helped me get the jobs that I've held. I'm just a big, fat, extremely-extremely confused, stinking terd of bipolar misery. Moral : Get all the help you can, if you aren't receiving any currently, so it cannot sink you as low as I am. |
![]() bellenuit, Disorder7
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![]() bellenuit
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#3
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Therapy is wonderful if you have a good one. I recommend it, totally. They dont judge you and help you figure things out. Sometimes you just talk and figure it out on your own.
I too talk before I think sometimes, I think we all do. This has gotten me into trouble. Then I kick myself in the end. Please remember that you are bipolar (I know other people see it as an excuse) and most importantly- Your Human. Your allowed mistakes. There is also the famous " Im sorry." "I am trying to keep my foot out of my mouth"....... or try a little humor (if that person has a sense of humor). Say something like, " will you check my teeth? I think I have a fungus in there from putting my foot in my mouth". Im one that thinks humor is the best side of life. I grew up with it and I love it. ![]()
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I asked God to keep me safe from my enemies, now half my friends are gone. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Bipolar I MDD -------------------------------------------------------------------- Lamictal-100mg Effexor-225mg Trazodone-100mg propranolol 80mg |
![]() bellenuit
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#4
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I try to remember to pause, but so far...
... Not doing so well. Often times the results are simply comical in my home environment, but not so much when I know I should be careful. Plus, I'm trusting, far too much, with people I should just not. Like an ex, in the current midst of a custody battle. I should recite the Miranda law to myself silently every time before I interact with him. (Because he will use anything I say in a court of law against me). LOL With practice maybe it will get better? For both of us ![]() ![]()
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notALICE MIDWAY upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, For the straightforward pathway had been lost. Bipolar I |
![]() bellenuit
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#5
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It's good that your manager was supportive.
Maybe you can try to develop a new habit that will help you slow your mind down. For example- if you find yourself wanting to say something- maybe check the time to a cute wrist watch or look at a pretty piece of jewelry. Sometimes you can be so excited about work that you just forget to be political. That happens to me too in the workplace. When I feel like snapping, I have a trusted colleague who I can run a situation by and ask, "I want to say this do you think that I'm going overboard?" That forces me to slow down and realize that I can't tell her anything petty or unprofessional b/c then I'd look bad.
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Bipolar Type I | 40 mg of Latuda, 0.5 mg of Xanax | Diagnosed August 27 2013 |
![]() bellenuit
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#6
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I'm an attorney with a similar problem. I think it is the bipolar, because I have worked and worked on this and I find that my speech continues to be more forced than most people's. I have found that meditation has given me the most help. Learning to sit through thoughts and emotions without doing or saying anything is good practice and can actually be learned. I've had to start slowly, 2-5 minutes at a time. But it does help me.
Be good to yourself. And I agree, humor does help diffuse situations where the cat is already out of the bag. Best of luck to you!
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Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
![]() bellenuit
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#7
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When I am slightly manic, I get involved in all sorts of opinions I shouldn't. I haven't gotten in trouble with my bosses, but usually can alienate a co-worker or two. Looking back, I still think my opinions were correct, but the situations were just none of my business.
Try to pick and choose your battles and comments. ![]()
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Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
![]() bellenuit
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#8
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I have said some pretty arrogant, crazy, offensive stuff to people and then afterwards been like, "oops, I just put my foot in my mouth." Really embarassing.
One time I was at a company party for my wife's work, and we were sitting across from one of her male co-worker. My wife had told me he had hit on her and offered to have an affair with her, kind of joking but also meaning it! I was spouting my mouth off about something silly, and he said something belittling to me like to put me in my place. I looked him straight into his eyes and said, "I am crazy, I will ****ing KILL YOU!" He turned red and got up from the table. My wife and his wife were sitting there uncomfortably, and his wife said, "don't kill my husband." It was not my best moment.
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Bipolar 1 ~ 300mg Lamictal, 4mg Ativan
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![]() bellenuit, Disorder7
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#9
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Thank you all for your helpful advice. It was a better day today. The state inspector loved us! We passed with flying colors! Of course the Quality Process Administration from the Network are still pretty upset with me. I opted to take care of the inspectors questions over the phone today and had my Associate be there in person. Figured it was best to let things cool down. My presence would have just ticked them off even more.
The unfortunate part is that with the new regulations I'm very likely to make many of them angry again. I have been running my "unpopular" announcements by my director to make sure I am wording them appropriately. It's a viscous circle. Belle |
![]() Hopeful Camel
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#10
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Belle: "Thank you all for your helpful advice. It was a better day today. The state inspector loved us! We passed with flying colors!"
Hurray! For that part. I need to eat yesterday's words (pun intended). I managed to piss off my hubby with my words. I started to relay something, then paused halfway through, thinking maybe what I was about to say might be taken wrong. Starting dialogue & saying "oh never mind" does not go over well either. ![]() Best!
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notALICE MIDWAY upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, For the straightforward pathway had been lost. Bipolar I |
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