Advise please

Ok a week ago I walked out of my job. Im going to be honest here and tell you guys some stuff I didnt even share with my therapist. Please dont think I deluded or anything. I just need help with this. Here we go.

I was a lunch lady at a local Elm School and loved my job. A week ago I walked off the job, just like that. Here is what went down. Geesh this is hard.

Last year at the end of the year I had a confrontation with one of the ladys and she said sorry but nothing has ever been the same. This continued through the summer and in the beginning of the school year. I just had a intuitionist that something was not right.

So when we started back I felt left out, by her and three friends. I felt alone and I could tell that some people picked it up too. During the beginning of the school year I felt shun by her. I tried to make jokes with her, I tried being nice, I tried talking to her about her life (which I didnt care about at all.) , on Facebook I made nice comment on her posts.....basically kissing butt. At one point I text her saying (geesh Im embarrassed) "pick up the phone" like seven times in the row. ( left a message saying that I wanted to get together and have a drink and talk things over.

The next day I got in trouble for harassment. I havent even told hubby about this. She also listed stuff on the complaint that we all did in the kitchen and were cool about it. (but was a no no in the rule book) I was trying way to hard for something the other person didnt want.

When it came down my manager and her boss had a "talk with me" and bitterly accused me of all this, they were right, guilty. I was totally blindside and cried. I couldnt think when it came down to my side. When I did at one point I was told "we arent talking about her we are talking about you. And your bipolar has nothing to do with this". My manager (who sucks and has always sucked) said nothing. Wouldnt ever look at me. Cowered

Here is what I was working with. She told me in the beginning of the year, "if you bipolar is bad this year, Im quitting" and one day said, "I almost didnt come in today because of you". Instead of thinking, "that's her problem" I took it on myself to try harder to make her happy.

She accused me of "not doing my job". Instead of saying "your not the one I have to impress" I took it to heart. I worked so hard in there. I worked 1 1/2 hours before she ever came in each day. It tore me up.

I tried to hard to be nice and it got me in trouble. At this point I think it was leave or get fired in just a matter of time.

Here is what I need help with. Do I say my stance? I have date on some of this stuff when it happened (thanks for journaling) Just to save face. Just to have my stance. Or do I just leave it alone and let what is what it is. My therapist and hubby tell me to leave it alone. I dont know. She was wrong on so many level. Im sure people think Im a horrible person. Im not. What would you do? I dont want to care what people think of me, but I do.

What do you guys think? What would you do? Let it be so I dont get into further trouble or say my voice?
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I'm practically in the same position you are. I want to defend myself but my wife has convinced me not to. If you've already quit I'm not sure what more trouble you could get in. But maybe you should head your therapist and husbands warnings. I'm not much help,but wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

Saying your peace may be helpful for you but maybe in terms of closure. maybe you need to let this go and move on. Do you really think you can take working in that kind of an environment?

From the sounds of it, it's not going to go away. It sounds like you've done everything in your power to rectify this situation but with no luck. It must be very difficult to work in that kind of environment.

Then there's the issue of disclosure. I've been in work situations where my employer knew my diagnosis and they did everything in their power to get rid of me. Because we do have laws to protect us, they just make life so miserable we quit. They win.

Hope this was helpful. Good luck with your decision.

You can always write a letter and not deliver it. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. The co-worker doesn't sound like someone who is worth your time, she just is who she is. People are really lacking on common sense and compassion nowadays.

I honestly think you need to just walk away. Your in a no win situation. The co worker treated you poorly and seemed to have no desire to work things out .. You tried and it brought your manager into the situation... Your Manager sounds like an idiot. So really you had no other choices.

The whole situation I think was rigged to get you out of there to be honest. This is why I think disclosing to an employer is just not/never a good idea.

I agree with Newtothis.. Write a letter get it all out of your system and then burn it.

I think you and your T need to work on this situation. I can tell its really bothering you and its not so easy to sweep it away and forget about it but , processing it through in Therapy will allow you get over the hurt,confusion,and betrayal ....

These type of situation are unfortunatly pretty common with people that deal with Bipolar..

Dont beat yourself up , right now its hurts like hell but, that will fade as you process it all and are looking forward to new probably better employment.

This is a good idea, and one that I am struggling with myself (which, because I don't want to deal with it is probably the best indicator that it should be done, lol. I just hate to allow her into my precious psych time. Logically, I know it isn't about her, that's just my reaction.). I'm in a somewhat similar work situation where there is very intentional nastiness toward me with ridiculous fabrications thrown in. In fact, I left early today to not cross paths with this person because I was very upset already and knew it would send me over the edge. My personal experience is that, even having expressed my frustration to the owner (over only the very worst incidents), the person has ingratiated themselves to such a degree that it is a total no-win situation. So….I have to agree with the others. Walk away. I'm too stupidly stubborn to take this advice myself, and can assure you that fighting a hopeless situation won't do you any psychological favors.

They don't even know about the BP, btw, but , doing a whole lot of "can't prove it" stuff still manage to make me look crazy if I speak up. Yeah. Run.

My heart goes out to you. Put a period and move on, try to work it out in therapy.

I vote for walking away. They're not hurting from this incident, you are. Don't rent them space in your head for free.

And whatever you do, DON'T disclose your bipolar to the next employer. I agree with Christina, I think you were set up to fail because of your illness. The Americans with Disabilities Act is toothless, employers are technically not allowed to discriminate against us, but there are a million and one OTHER ways for them to get rid of us. I've been burned too, so I know.

This will definitely need to be worked out in therapy, but for now, just walk away with your head held high. You've done nothing wrong other than to trust the wrong people with sensitive information. It happens to a lot of us. Best wishes.

Thanks guys. It hurts so bad. These women were my friends. No one has called me to see I am ok. No one. Im sure they have said some pretty awful stuff about me. I dont want to care, I dont. Just thought if they cared....

They think Im horrible. They have no idea what has happened. They dont know my side.

I feel like Im spinning. Two day to my therapy appointment.