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#1
Aug 15, 2014, 03:34 PM
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Is self destructive behavior part of mania or depression? I seem to be functioning ok but ive been aggitated for weeks. So i took up smoking. I cant help it. I know its wrong. I love how bad it is. I love how its hurting me. I love that noone knows. I love buying the cigarettes. I enjoy the act itself. Its like being tansported elsewhere while im smoking. At the same time it feels good to brush my teeth and take a shower later too. I love the alternate universe and how bad a thing it is. Im bad and i love it.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
 anon20141119, daisymazed, InsideBlackBox, MotherMarcus
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#2
Aug 15, 2014, 03:59 PM
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I hope your still taking your Zyprexa as prescribed.. You really dont want to go inpatient or residential again right now do you ?
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#3
Aug 15, 2014, 04:29 PM
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Quote:
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#4
Aug 15, 2014, 06:00 PM
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Im making dinner for the kids. Thats something. Theyd been fending for themselves lately.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#5
Aug 15, 2014, 06:15 PM
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I kwym about doing something bad that no one else knows about.... and the charge you can get from it. I feel that way too about my secret smokes or my body piercings. As long as it's temporary and doesn't hurt you in the long run, why not?
Is that irresponsible of me to say?
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Bipolar II / GAD / SAD / PMDD ------------ Prozac 30mg, Wellbutrin 150mg, Latuda 40mg |
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#6
Aug 15, 2014, 07:03 PM
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Interesting point. I have my tongue pierced. Most people wouldnt know i guess. Its one of my secret pleasures. Mildly damaging- my dentist would say so anyway.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#7
Aug 15, 2014, 07:43 PM
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Give me a few destructive days of being bipolar or schizoaffective or whatever i am. Smoking is life affirming. It beats suicide
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#8
Aug 15, 2014, 07:50 PM
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An online friend just told me i had to be happy that it is "simple as that". Wish id thought of that!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#9
Aug 15, 2014, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
I have my tongue, chin and eyebrow. I use to have my lip too. LOL Sent from iPhone using Tapatalk
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#10
Aug 15, 2014, 08:42 PM
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What's rebelling and what's damaging though?
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#11
Aug 15, 2014, 08:50 PM
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I started smoking one bad year because I wanted to die and figured smoking would bring me closer, even though it would do so slowly. I figured every cigarette was taking time off my miserable life.
I quit for awhile after I got well for a few years. Started back up again when this nonsense started back up again. I say smoking is damaging because it will kill you eventually and it's addictive (you may not be able to just stop when you feel better) but piercings and tattoos are just rebellious. I had my tongue pierced. I took it out last year after it became clear that teaching teenage boys and having a tongue ring did not mix. Too many inappropriate comments. Sadly I decided I had to be a grown up. I still have my stretched ears though. If I can ever afford it I will get more fancy ear piercings like daith and rook and whatnot.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#12
Aug 15, 2014, 09:13 PM
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I agree that smoking is damaging. Thats why i do it. The tattoos are permanent but not really damaging.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#13
Aug 15, 2014, 09:35 PM
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Im hating my life. Anxiety over my future. Smoking should calm me. Maybe some ativan would help?
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#14
Aug 16, 2014, 11:16 AM
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Going out with my guy pal today. Not sure when. Youngest going with his dad. Other two staying home. Daughter finally cleaning. Every friday i forget until its almost time t take my night pills that i have no night pills because i havent filled up my pill box for the week yet. It always seems like a big chore though it only takes about 10 minutes.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#15
Aug 16, 2014, 01:36 PM
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Having 2nd coffee. As if i werent ramped up enough.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#16
Aug 16, 2014, 01:39 PM
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I want a new tattoo but dont think i can get one due to being on blood thinners.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#17
Aug 16, 2014, 01:59 PM
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Going to the tattoo shop now. Just called them
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#18
Aug 16, 2014, 02:03 PM
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Maybe manic. Woohoo. Tick tock. Nobody here.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#19
Aug 16, 2014, 02:07 PM
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Im getting manic Mickey. A lt like m avatar but not exactly,
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#20
Aug 16, 2014, 03:03 PM
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Booked for a week from tomorrow. Woot!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#21
Aug 16, 2014, 03:52 PM
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Its from a short called "Runaway Brain".
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#22
Aug 16, 2014, 04:32 PM
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Antsy today. Listening to crickets. Hungry. Oh well. I can tough it out.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#23
Aug 16, 2014, 05:08 PM
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Eating walnuts. Mmmmm. I have too much to do and too much free time tonight. My uncle is coming to visit. Can he see me like this?? Oh who cares! Ill fly away. I deserve a tattoo.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#24
Aug 16, 2014, 05:27 PM
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I believe that once we're adults we decide what's good for us and what hurts us. Others decide only when our behavior is illegal (you can be arrested) or crazy (you can be 5150'd).
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#25
Aug 16, 2014, 05:38 PM
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I still feel ramped up. Wonder if ativan would help. Feel im moving toward mania. The internal restlessness is very uncomfortable
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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