[elevatedsoul]

my mom left again (umpteenth time)
i dunno whats going through her head when this happens...
i tried talking to her about bipolar and how she should becareful drinking and using pills that arent Rx'ed
she is also taking celexa and i just got off cymbalta because it was causing chaotic ultradian mixed hell ...

it seems she doesnt realize whats happening even after she "comes down" and returns back home ( although this is apparently the last time my dad will deal with it )
it seems like all of a sudden she becomes fearful, trapped, and runs away ... she always ends up crying and saying that no body loves her here and that everyone was talking bad about/to her ... we know how she is sensitive
we try to respect certain boundaries so that she will be more comfortable..
dad and mom have been separated for a long time, but trying to live together to be a family?

as you may guess, this is a traumatic trigger of mine which seems impossible to acknowledge or find a way to deal with

but more over id like to know what is happening with her or what to do to get her help, i thought i was helping her by talking to her about MI awareness but maybe im just making things worse - or maybe its just my illness ...

[kaliope]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. it is great that you are trying to educate yourself on her illness. the more education you have the better you can understand her behaviors. I really hope that you don't in any way feel at fault or guilty for any of her behaviors. it is not about you at all. there is nothing you can do, no way you can act that is going to change the way she is doing things. only she can do that by getting herself treatment. for yourself, google for a nami family support group in your area. they can give you the coping skills to deal with your mother. it is kind of like an alanon for mental illness. take care of yourself.