[Newbie12]

Does anyone else NOT remember a lot of things that happen during high or a low?

I actually buy things I don't remember buying. Our bank account is drained. My husband didn't know that I didn't remember these things, or at least not well. I have so many packages coming this week that I don't even know the exact number, it has to be close to 20.

Binge activities can happen to some BP people during a high or a low. During these periods, you might have to hand over your debit/credit card (and financial autonomy) to a responsible and trustworthy loved one (e.g. your husband). Many of the books I've read on BP have suggested this.

Can you return any of the unnecessary purchases? Have you held onto the receipts and online invoices? Refunds might be helpful if your bank account is running low. Good luck.

[Newbie12]

I was able to cancel a bigger purchase before it shipped. That should be good to get us to the next payday. The rest of the items would be a waste to send back (because of return shipping costs) or they won't offer a refund on auction sites.

I've read this is a major symptom of Bipolar Disorder. I just thought I liked to shop. Thankfully I'm into the couture punk/grunge look so almost all my family's clothes are primarily recycled or it could be a lot worse.

Ugh, I'm just frustrated with myself right now. My husband was trying so hard to not be angry. Poor guy. When, I look back, and the bipolar wasn't so bad, he used to let me spend what I wanted as long as it didn't drain our bank account to nada. That was even before we were married. Now we have to file for bankruptcy.

Did some of you kind of embrace your bipolar diagnosis at first because your life started to make sense for the first time in a long time?

[Tucson]

Originally Posted by Newbie12

[some stuff deleted]

Did some of you kind of embrace your bipolar diagnosis at first because your life started to make sense for the first time in a long time?

Yes, this is exactly how I accepted my Bipolar diagnosis.

[Newbie12]

Well then I guess you and I accepted it pretty fast. I'm not sure if a lot of people realize how serious it is. You can get disability from CA state if you're bipolar. I don't know if most bipolar people in CA realize that unless they've been hospitalized. I've been hospitalized twice after it got really bad. Agree?

[Double Edge]

Originally Posted by Newbie12

Did some of you kind of embrace your bipolar diagnosis at first because your life started to make sense for the first time in a long time?

While I'm newly diagnosed (Thursday marks one month, despite my suspecting it for years), I've realized these shopping patterns in myself as well. I once spent over $5,000 on a vacation, buying what, I have no clue, though I do remember a lot of it was expensive cuisine. When I looked at my AMEX chart of spending for last year, the majority of it was on Amazon purchases, again, not really sure what on earth I'm buying, with the exception of a bunch of camera equipment that I don't even end up using because I'm depressed and have no interest. So yes, reflecting on these and other tendencies is slowly helping me accept and embrace my dx, and definitely explains a LOT of my other behaviors as well. I'm not 100% there yet, still trying to figure out the whole "who can I trust to tell" and fears of stigmatization thing, but I know for sure my dx is correct.

[~Christina]

Get a prepaid visa card .. Put X amount of dollars on it monthly or weekly .. and only use that card... Hand over your debit cards / credit cards to your husband .. In doing so you will have a small amount of money to do your "retail therapy " When the money is used up you wont have another card to keep buying.

[newtothis31]

That's good advice Christina.

Originally Posted by Newbie12

Did some of you kind of embrace your bipolar diagnosis at first because your life started to make sense for the first time in a long time?

Having been diagnosed and misdiagnosed and rediagnosed with a bunch of things -- I don't embrace diagnoses, I try to understand every little piece of information that comes my way, to see if it sheds any insight into my life. I am not a diagnosis -- BP is a poorly understood umbrella disorder, and the causes and treatment for two different people with similar symptoms might be vastly different.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

I binge buy when I'm hypo, too. I know what I'm getting, and it's usually either particular foods or supplies for a hobby. Luckily, my hobbies are relatively inexpensive (sewing, knitting, crochet, making natural home remedies, etc.). I've easily spent $100s of unnecessary dollars on these things, eaten way too much ice cream, and have a closet full of materials I don't use and won't throw out because I think I have to use it before I'm allowed to get anything else (working on this...my T sees it more as a constant physical manifestation of shame/guilt I'm holding onto).

I believe now that my dad was bipolar, though he's dead now. He once bought an old sports car for $21,000 while he and my mom were trying to put one of my siblings through college. Looked at in comparison, I feel a little bit better about my closet of fabric and yarn.

I like Christina's suggestion, too - I'm feeling a bit better these days, and now feel the urge to hit the stores again. Maybe I'll run this by my husband and see about limiting the damage I can do.

I also really relate to feeling much better initially on receiving the diagnosis - talked about that with my T today, actually, and how much relief that is in being able to explain so many things. Like I've found the other half of the pieces in the puzzle I've been working on for years that I never even realized were missing.