Not sure what to do??

Long story short Saturday huge blowup slammed my head into the wall maybe 4-6 times. Head still hurts. Very nauseous if I bend over. Really dizzy hard to concentrate. Pretty sure got minor concussion. Don't know at what point I should actually worry and seek medical help. Plus if I go in is this something that can get me held? I mean pretty sure they aren't going to understand it was try to knock myself out or beat my mom to death. Knew without a doubt if I laid a hand on her I wouldn't stop. Mania sucks.

You need to go in!!!! Right now!

yes, get help now

Please don't worry about being held. They will make that decision based on your needs. If you're a danger to yourself and others, something needs to be done to correct that.

I'm never a danger to others. Won't allow myself to hurt someone else so I do what I got to to keep that from happening.

Started throwing up this morning,vision has gotten a little bit blurry, head hurts really bad, dizziness not so bad unless I bend over. So going in the morning when I get off work. I'm calm now. Can't stop crying but don't think they can hold me for that. We'll see.

They were very nice about the whole thing. Didn't even lecture me about not being on meds. I even made the nurse laugh when she was listing what they had down for my meds. I was completely honest told them I had a meltdown slammed my head into a wall several times. I'm bipolar and unmedicated so there are going to be rough patches. She asked if there was a reason I was off meds and I told her I couldn't afford them until January. Explained the finance things and she gave me a little hug told me to hang in.

Well she was listing my medications and she said Naproxen and Hydrocodone. I said no those were for a shoulder injury. Then I winked and said not self inflicted I promise and she almost fell off her chair laughing. She said well at least you still have a sense of humor.

They didn't even have somebody come in from psych to talk to me so it wasn't bad at all. Said I gave myself a concussion but there were no signs to indicate it was anything worse. Said if I don't feel better in about 10 days go see my family doc.

So there's nothing they can do for awhile?

About meds? No unfortunately. In January I will gain about $150/month to my pay which will allow me to get my psych meds again. I'll have to go through my regular doc because I have no transportation to get to my Pdoc or T until some things get paid off and mom gets her own vehicle. I just have to keep a grip until then.

My doc I can see on Fridays when I actually have my car. Can't find a freaking T or Pdoc in this city that works Fridays that takes my insurance.

Do you have a local mental health facility? Some of them provide transportation.

The only way to get free transportation here is to be on medicaid or medicare. It's like even at the hospital today the nurse told me that since I had insurance there wasn't anything she could suggest to help me. She said the low income clinic associated with them won't see you IF you have private insurance. She said Midtown (another low income clinic) won't offer any kind of sliding scale IF you have insurance. Apparently the thinking in this city is you aren't allowed to be poor if you work and have insurance. I mean you have a job and insurance why would you need help? Actually had a lady tell me that over the phone when I first found out I could no longer afford my psych meds. I called every place I could and checked out every possibility out there. The only shining light I found was one place that offers you a free T if you've suffered some sort of abuse or trauma. But they have no Pdocs on staff just Ts and the waiting list to get in is about 18 months but it's completely free.

Have you looked into programs that the medication distributors have?

That was how I was affording back when I was on it. BUT my pharmacy screwed up the card I was given. I called the manufacturer to explain what happened and had my pharmacy call and explain but they said one card per person per lifetime no exceptions. So then I tried contacting the corporate offices my pharmacy and telling them "Hey you effed up you need to make this right because I can't afford it without the discount." They were like sorry about that but only were willing to eat the cost on it for three months. So I set up an appointment with my Pdoc to start what I call the med-go-round again and see if we could find something that I could afford that worked. She had an emergency and canceled and the day after mom's truck blew up and we started sharing my car and I had no way to get there except on Friday.

My family doc is willing to write psych prescriptions IF it's something I'm already on but she's not willing to do the med-go-round. Heck from what I've heard from others I'm lucky she'll even touch psych meds. So in January when the money loosens up I can go see her and get back on my meds. I just think it's ridiculous in a city this size that I can't find a freaking Pdoc or T that takes my insurance that works on a FRIDAY. It's total BS. Very frustrating.