[richeye]

I saw my therapist today and shared with her my moods since last week as well as the month of August. There is only so much medication can do, which i've realized since getting out of the hospital on August 1. And i've come to terms with the fact that my disorder won't go away regardless of what i try.

Anyway, I've been reading a book called 'Breaking the Bipolar Cycle' and it has helped put things into perspective. My day is much more structured, as i do one house-keeping chore in the morning, go to an AA meeting at 11:30 and 1:00, go for a walk when i get back. My problem seems to hit me in the afternoon, where i start feeling very empty/bored/frustrated/depressed. I feel I haven't saved the world, which is what my ego wants me to do. I can't work part time or be in a relationship with a woman due to my illness, so what kind of goals do i set for myself?

I'm not bipolar 1 or 2, but rather bipolar not otherwise specified. So i can chill out once my moods start racing, for the most part. But why do i get this grandiosity if i'm not in a purely manic state?

[kaliope]

so what can you do to bring structure to your afternoons and answer that call to change the world? you may not be able to bring change on a grand scale but what can you do on a smaller scale? are you able to volunteer at a social service agency? that would give you something to do with your time and it would be a contribution to society. just a couple hours a day a couple days a week maybe. or even chairing a meeting. doing something for service. think about it. take care.

[~Christina]

You really want to make a change in your life and thats a good thing .. I agree with Kaliope try and find some more things to do in the afternoon so that you can avoid the "down times"

When I find myself in the same boat I will re clean my house I can reorganize my dishes ( kinda sends hubby in a tail spin trying to find a damn glass) or organize DVD's ..read a book, new hobby maybe? and Surf PC and just pick a topic and learn more about it.

I feel your pain I go through the same things at times..it sucks !