Rejected by friends

StayinAlive · Sep 05, 2014, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ozzy1313

I agree that it is easier to say you have depression than bipolar. People think bipolar and picture people going on crazy sprees, and dong other insane things- and almost no one has heard of BP2

Most people have never heard of cyclothymia, either. I have gotten blank stares from doctors, even. Still, I think "bipolar" gets a bad wrap in the media.

Rick7892 · Sep 05, 2014, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kmmnewtobp

So I finally broke down and told my "friends" about my diagnoses. It was the worst experience I could have imagined. They told me there is nothing wrong with me, that's it's all in my head. They told me to stop my pity party and think positive and I will be fine. They told me I have nothing to be depressed about and I need to start being grateful for my life. I guess after 15+ years of friendship I thought I would get support not ridicule. I wish I never would have said anything. Meeting with my therapist this morning, hoping she can give me some insight. What has been y'all's experience with telling friends and loved ones?

Your friends may have thought they were being helpful, but they were not.

I, too, have struggled with whether or who to tell about my being bipolar. So far, the only others who know are my GP who made the diagnosis, and I have told just one friend. But I live alone, and it would be helpful to have someone else. This Bipolar Forum is a gift! But it is not with me in my everyday life...

I have also struggled with accepting the diagnosis of being bipolar and beating myself up about it. What I have found helpful is to read literature about how to tell family or friends about being bipolar and applying the same things to telling myself, really telling myself I am bipolar and how to cope with it. Helpful pages I found about how to tell family and friends include:
Telling Family Members | Bipolar Parenting
Helping a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder: Children, Teens, and Family
NAMI | "The First 48 Hours with Bipolar Disorder"
Bipolar Disorder and Family Support: How to Tell Others About Your Bipolar

While on one hand fear of telling others may seem the safest thing to do to not get hurt, it also can isolate us more. Building a support system that is not dependent on just 1-2 people other than our medical providers can help.

When I told one friend, I did so after reading the guides, and I also tried to not be overly sensitive and jump to conclusions about her reaction because she isn't bipolar or has any mental health condition that I know of, so she probably doesn't know anything about bipolar and accordingly not know how to respond to it, especially in a comforting way that I would want.

So sometimes we may need to give our friends some slack, too--they may be trying to be helpful but they really need some literature or guidance on how to be helpful...

Good luck!

loophole · Sep 06, 2014, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lmciyah

HR can and will disclose it from my experience, but not by law. Everything has to be proven in the court of law. It can be very hard to prove who and how information gets leaked.

I had/have a back injury. Happened years ago, but still affects me every day. The shitbags I worked for convinced me not to file worker's comp. and instead, go to a dr. myself. When I got back to work from dr. visit, HR had a meeting with me. The dr. had already called them and disclosed my diagnosis. After work, I went back to the dr. and went off in the office because the basterd would not come discuss it with me. I told his staff that I would own them all if I lost the job over it. I should have sued their pants off. Unfortunately, I was raised in church and raised not to do things like that. Now look, it cost me jobs and income. The very reason I went to retail to get away from repetitive lifting. And, I'm not a people person at all. I tried to do it for 15 years, until this mental stuff finally got the best of me.

That's why I absolutely do not trust doctors, hr depts., and coworkers. My siblings are the only ones on earth that I trust.

In reality though, if the dr. had come out, I would have beaten that sob dead right then and there. I would have gotten more pleasure from that than a lawsuit.

I'm in a union.. trust me the company don't play around their employees.. alot of my family has worked there.. on company side and union side... company will fire salary with a drop of a pin. Seriously.. only people that cut it there are the ones who follow the rules on the nose... us union people are pretty covered though lol...

seekingadvice4 · Sep 06, 2014, 10:23 PM

I guess I can say the opposite. I am actually looking for advice about my best friend. He has bipolar and anxiety. I have been there through his ups and downs, mostly downs and now he has changed. He told a friend of mine that he feels angry everytime I was around him. He told me many times that he was in love with me and now he is flipping the lines saying that I wanted more in our friendship. I knew there could not be more because of his mood swings. Its like he is blaming me for everything. I never discriminated him because of his mental illness, on the contrary I would try to get him to go out more so he doesnt have to stay home. I was hurt but I cannot force him to be my friend if he doesnt want to. He told me he is still my best friend even though we don't talk or hangout anymore. What type of friendship is that? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

p123 · Sep 07, 2014, 12:10 AM

Yea from what I'm reading, I have to agree with the group. Don't tell people should be your objective. Something I like to do is bait a bit. Since it's such a taboo subject apparently, even in 2014, I find it much better to describe the symptoms as opposed to actually coming out with it. Or use the word spectrum. I tend to be more on the bipolar spectrum of things. Finding interesting ways to say politically correct things about your mental health can be a very fun and interesting challenge. I also think that when someone is able to piece it together what you are saying, you've probably made a friend!

nomzod · Sep 07, 2014, 02:35 AM

Letting my friends know I was bipolar didn't stop them from leaving when something went wrong. You really learn who your friends are, and if they're just going to walk out on you they have done you a favor by leaving your life.

surfacetoair · Sep 07, 2014, 04:37 AM

I'm lucky as far as friends go, but family is a pain in the ***. I don't just randomly tell people, but at times it's been obvious that I wasn't myself. I have lost friends, and I have lost jobs but I can only assume that I didn't need them. Suprisingly a lot have stuck around.

Menu

Rejected by friends

My Support Forums