[lilypup]

I was doing so well and was in a good start to recovery. So a few days ago, I start hearing voices again. Normally I only hear them when I am very depressed. But I am not depressed now. I took my antipsychotic (perphenazine) and got totally wiped out. I can't make it out the door so had to cancel stuff with friends. Really hard on me.
These voices suck. Now I am getting stupid demon voices saying things like "you are going to HELL!"{ That is so ridiculous. What a cliche'. I think every demon says that. I also have a voice telling me to write a letter to my therapist. But I don't know why. She has just been bouncing things around with me about my recovery. I can call her anytime (no need to write a letter).
My friends mostly know what is going on. I am afraid some of them may leave. But sadly, I can do nothing about that. I am tired of hiding my illness.
I got mad at my husband today. He went out with a friend to look at rocks and have lunch. I wish he had stayed with me. I hate being alone with the voices.
I was working as hard as I knew how to get into recovery. Now I feel like I have taken a giant step back. Really makes me sad.
Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate it.

Originally Posted by lilypup

I was doing so well and was in a good start to recovery. So a few days ago, I start hearing voices again. Normally I only hear them when I am very depressed. But I am not depressed now. I took my antipsychotic (perphenazine) and got totally wiped out. I can't make it out the door so had to cancel stuff with friends. Really hard on me.
These voices suck. Now I am getting stupid demon voices saying things like "you are going to HELL!"{ That is so ridiculous. What a cliche'. I think every demon says that. I also have a voice telling me to write a letter to my therapist. But I don't know why. She has just been bouncing things around with me about my recovery. I can call her anytime (no need to write a letter).
My friends mostly know what is going on. I am afraid some of them may leave. But sadly, I can do nothing about that. I am tired of hiding my illness.
I got mad at my husband today. He went out with a friend to look at rocks and have lunch. I wish he had stayed with me. I hate being alone with the voices.
I was working as hard as I knew how to get into recovery. Now I feel like I have taken a giant step back. Really makes me sad.
Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate it.

lilypup: I'm so sorry you are struggling. I don't hear voices. But I certainly have many of the same types of thoughts running through my head almost constantly. And this is difficult for me. So I can imagine how difficult your voices must be for you.

I hope you are able to express, to your husband, how you felt about his leaving you alone with the voices. I believe it's important for all of us to be upfront about these sorts of things. My own communications skills could use some honing in this arena.

Please stay strong... my best wishes to you...

[Victoria'smom]

I'd sit down and just start writing. It gets you the outlets for voices so that they can shut up. It gives your therapist a view into what's going on when it's happening right then nor after

[~Christina]

Your having a bad day .. maybe it will be just this day. Use Mindfulness to bring your focus back to manageable bits of time. Maybe writing that letter will be helpful if nothing else it will allow your feels to get out.

Most of us that have Bipolar tend to not share how we are feeling to our loved ones when we are not doing well( we are a stubborn lot) ... Thats the habit that we need to break.. Its ok to cancel plans , its ok to ask your husband to stay home with you.. its ok to ask for what we need..

Distract yourself , dont dwell on "how long will this last". Increase your self care and dust off the coping skills.. Your not alone.. Post here and vent or cry all you want or need to .. Pm if you want.