The bottom line is X

I've been diagnosed as bipolar every single time as inpatient. Out of the hospital, by therapists, it has been major depressive disorder. It leaves me very confused.

Recently my pdoc suggested Lithium...I have not told him I'm bipolar or that I've had diagnoses of it.

My first question is: What does Lithium feel like? Did anyone not gain weight from it? Does it feel like an antidepressant in the way that you can feel good...kind of a foggy good?

Second question: I have long phases of being dormant emotionally and then suddenly I wake up emotionally for long phases of time. Daily, I get these euphoric highs like rages..but they immediately dump into a black hole within minutes. It feels terrible. WTF kind of bipolar would this be if it was?

I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but just information on things I don't understand.

Thanks.

I didn't feel any significant change with lithium. I cant say that it really worked for me. I did gain weight on it and it messed with my thyroid so I got off of it. I wasn't on very high of a dose. it doesn't act like an antidepressant but a mood stabilizer. the euphoric mood/rage you are describing and then quickly going down into depression sounds like rapid cycling of bipolar.

Thank you, Kaliope!!!

Same here. I had to get off of it after getting Lithium Toxicity.

Allergic to lithium, so no help there. Sounds like you are rapid cycling.

I refuse lithium as id rather take anything than that. Look up your insurance drug coverage list and match it with possible mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, and antidepressants. This way you have a full list that you can ask your doctor to rule out. If you do have bipolar. Lithium is often used in situations where the mental illness causes suicidal tendencies and other treatment hasn't worked for suicidal-ness.

As far as which bipolar you have it depend on the severity of the mania. The longevity of the episodes tell if you have classic, rapid, or ultra rapid bipolar.

I'm curious to know if there is such a thing as patient representatives that can be present during dr. visits to help advocate for me? I have a terrible time trying to discuss anything with them. I'm afraid if they get mad because I ask for med. change that I might start cursing and get into trouble. So, I go with the flow while there, then go home and deal with it like always. I hate confrontation! I do anything to avoid it until I've had enough, then blow my top. I've done this all my life. It seems as though everyone can be moody and have bad days but me. So I say FU to all the shitheads I've worked with in the past. I think it's the lack of proper meds. is why I act like that. And why can other people be moody like bosses and coworkers and treat everyone like shite and it's ok, but they used it against me. And people wonder why I hate the human race.

Power, money, and control. The more you have to pay for, the more responsibility and power with your job, the more rights you have to treat people like crap. At least that's what I've observed.

Thanks for allowing me to vent that out and sorry about getting off topic.. Oh, my last job, because I knew several were scheming to get me fired, I got so tired of it that I would take a sharpie and draw a hand shooting a bird with Fu@# You written backwards on my arm for days at a time. I'm telling you if one of them gets into a really tough spot and was starving for food or water and I saw them again, I wouldn't waste my time to piss down their throat.

Regarding this confusion, my pdoc says it is difficult to diagnose bipolar, and often takes a while for folks to get a correct diagnosis, because we are less likely to go to the doctor when we're manic and feeling good -- or overly good. But we do go when we are depressed.

I haven't taken Lithium, but I've been on many other anticonvulsants. Trying these made my life much more stable and manageable. To say it changed my life for the better is a vast understatement.

Best of luck!