Blablabla bla

how am i supposed to learn myself? get to know myself? understand what im feeling?
if i cant be medicated properly?
all the time running out of pills, not being able to get intouch with care providers

am i on my own? are they angry at me?
why does it seem the more progress i make the more i fall harder?

i feel under attack
questioning everything
sometimes i just want to hide away from everything for ever

Keep a journal. Write about how you're feeling, what's going on with you. Write about anything and everything. It really helps.

Why are you running out of pills all the time?

They are not angry at you and you are not on your own.

It probably seems the more progress you make the harder you fall because when you fall you feel like you're failing, so it hurts that much more. You're not failing though. You just have to get back up and learn from it, adapt, and keep going. Everyone falls. Gravity wins sometimes.

Can you set reminders on your phone that beep so you can refill your meds 3-4 days before you run out? If your medications are stable ask your Pdoc to write out your scripts for 90 day supplies.

I "think" most pharmacies offer a routine automatic refill monthly on your meds.

Do you normally have trouble getting in touch with your pdoc or T's ? Im sure they are not angry at you .. Maybe on your next visit explain how your feeling kind of stranded with your treatment.

Be your own advocate and make sure your needs are being met.

thanks for the recommendations

i have been keeping a journal for a long time now, is someone supposed to read it to figure out whats going on? because it looks terrible to me

i dont really have the problem of me forggeting to have medicines re-filled, its that when i try to contact someone and tell them im running out in a couple days they always procrastinate till its the weekend/ for a week
i dont know why they let this happen to me so often

i just cant tell when im stable, if i was ever stable on the medicines, because of this

without medicines i dont think i have ever been stable before in my life, so i dont know what stable feels like

so aggravating... feels like such a waste of life

i've been having a lot of de-realization, depersonalization ..
scary

Try to call in for meds earlier than just a couple days before you run out of meds. A couple days is not enough time. Perhaps one week before you run out of meds would work? I hope you are frequently seeing a pdoc for med adjustments. Hang in there!

I have a lot of derealization/ depersonalization, and I have for years!!! Yes, it's awful. I can be anywhere and slip into a dreamlike state. Like I'm not real.
I used to completely freak out.

You know what? I stopped freaking out. Now when it happens I just tell myself, "oh well, I'm having derealization again. Whatever." And I just roll with it until it goes away.

Look, some people have to buy drugs off the street to space out. But look at us. We can do it naturally. Next time it happens just relax and roll with it. Eventually, it will pass.

I second the above.

I should add that many, many times I have done similar things and had my meds run out. So frustrating!

thanks, i always try to call a week early so i dont run out,, but due to unforseen events at the clinic apparently mix ups happened and i wasnt able to see the pdoc on the 18th like i was supposed to, but they moved it to oct 15

i remember my first moment of depersonalization... i couldnt have been more than 4-5 years old, and it hit me like a wave "huh, am i the only one living?" confused i just never knew what was happening

they need to get their straight. It is hard to be well when your "support" is off in left field. Maybe try calling 10 days in advanced. Hope it all becomes better for you.