[ozzy1313]

I have always been one to look and dress how I want. For the most part I look like a typical suburban mom of two. I feel like I always need to change my looks and when I am in a hypo or depressed state I really want to change my looks kind of in a "I'm not like all of you" way. I recently got my already pixie cut shaved even more and I have an appt to add on to my tattoo. I feel like I am acting like an adolescent though. Kind of a f@#@ you to society. I wish I knew why at my age I still have the need to scream "I am not like you" with my looks. When I am in a stable state I don't have this desire to such a degree.

I guess I just feel like I shouldn't feel the need to rebel. What am I rebelling against? I am an adult who can do what I want. So often I feel emotionally like I did as a kid and teen and not in a good way. How come I can't seem to grow up?

[Sprite22]

((hug))zz, it is no fun doing the grown up things we have too. Hope you get to feeling better.

[BlackSheep79]

I'm just throwing this out there because I have wondered this about myself. Is this a BP thing? I have had so many hairstyles and colors since thus started at 15. I mean yeh go ahead cut it all off, I don't care, and then I'm back to growing it out. What's up with this? The same with tattoos. If I had the money, I would probably be covered. What is this all about? I got to the point that I told my husband this last time I am growing out my hair, do not let me cut it no matter what I say.

[venusss]

I don't change my hair often, I like it long and red, it's my signature thing. I just add in some clip in highlights. But I go crazy on make up and clothes.

Recently I have to appear more mature, which is bit challenge for me. To wear color that match and aren't pink leopard print and only few pieces of jewerly is truly a challenge to me.

I wonder though, why you feel that because you are older you should be boring like everybody else in your style. I like people who are different. Once I met some elderly lady with pink hair, in some fancy dress and wearing high heel shoes, complaing to to her friend (dressed appropriately) how the shoes are killing her feet but she wanted to look pretty for Prague. Made my day. I hope I am like that when I get old.

[ozzy1313]

It's not so much I feel I need to be "boring", it's more the feeling that I need change- the urgent feeling that makes me cut off my hair on a whim etc. It's a good thing my tattoo artist books 3 weeks in advance or else I would probably be completely covered.

It is so difficult to explain. I think in a way I use my appearance as a wall. To pretend I am tough and confident. To stand out yet be able to hide inside. Ugh- I can't put into words what I want to say.

[wildflowerchild25]

I know what you mean. I used to do that too with my appearance. Had colored hair, piercings, dressed all in black. Like screaming look at me! But also wanting everyone to leave me alone. It was an odd paradox. Now when I am hypo I get that urge to do the same thing - dye my hair, get a piercing, get a tattoo. Usually we don't have enough money to do anything except the hair part so I'm safe on that.

I want to look 'different' when i am manic, too. Assymetrical cuts [done myself at 4am], blue, shaved, purple, fire-engine red. My hair is prematurely gray as i am only 48. Regret the silly styles when i come back down to earth. I almost have a pretty pageboy now and i get lots of compliments on it.

I figure the dramatic hair changes are an expression of the exuberance i feel inside during mania and the passion and zest i have for life at those time and for style and extreme design. My glasses were bought during mania and they are high-fashion cats-eye black plastic with sparkles on the corners! So not what i would have picked had i been depressed.

I try and be amused by my behavior. Everything but shaving my head i can live with. I don't find bald flatters me. I had fun with head scarves, tho -- and eventually it grew back -- and even went thru a nice stage when it was about two inches long.

Whatever!

[StayinAlive]

Originally Posted by venusss

I wonder though, why you feel that because you are older you should be boring like everybody else in your style. I like people who are different. Once I met some elderly lady with pink hair, in some fancy dress and wearing high heel shoes, complaing to to her friend (dressed appropriately) how the shoes are killing her feet but she wanted to look pretty for Prague. Made my day. I hope I am like that when I get old.

Bless you, young one. That made my day. My almost-50-years-old day.

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah I can relate. During a manic phase I've got tattoos piercing and more daring hairstyles. I regret the tattoos. They're a constant reminder of the phase / s I've been through. In the process of getting the one on my arm removed. I can deal with the one on my back because no one can see it. As for the piercings thankfully those I could remove with no scarring. The hair colour could be changed and the style could be grown out. For me it was about less inhibition and a stuff you what society thinks. If you're going through a phase by all means change your hair but in my personal opinion hang out on the tattoo because that's a bit more of a permanent phase. I usually dress with less inhibition too like what you looking at kind of attitude.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I have tattoos and piercings that I got because I wanted them but also mostly I was being very impulsive. I've gone through so many phases of appearances just in the last 10 years when all of my bipolarness happened. I think part of it for me is that if I look different on the outside it's my choice. Because having bipolar disorder is definitely not my choice and I can't get rid of it but I can dye and cut my hair or get tattoos or piercings and change how other see me that way.

[~Christina]

Last year I decided I didn't want my half way down my back hair because Im 47 and I should not wear it so long.... I decided on a Pixie cut .. I liked it for the first 12 minutes. When I walked into my T's office he said "Manic much?" So I learned a big lesson, I put as many hurdles as possible in front of me when I am coming off the rails up or down , like limit amount of money I can get my hands on .... makes me wait on that tattoo I am certain I want "today"

Whats wrong with being a bit of a rebel ? More things are becoming more "socially acceptable" as time goes by... Im 47 I have no desire to "look my age" whatever that means anyway

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Last year I decided I didn't want my half way down my back hair because Im 47 and I should not wear it so long.... I decided on a Pixie cut .. I liked it for the first 12 minutes. When I walked into my T's office he said "Manic much?" So I learned a big lesson, I put as many hurdles as possible in front of me when I am coming off the rails up or down , like limit amount of money I can get my hands on .... makes me wait on that tattoo I am certain I want "today"

Whats wrong with being a bit of a rebel ? More things are becoming more "socially acceptable" as time goes by... Im 47 I have no desire to "look my age" whatever that means anyway

This.

I used to change my hair on a whim, sometimes several times in a year. Short, long, colored, straight, curly---I didn't know then that it had anything to do with my moods. Now I don't mess with it myself---my son-in-law does it---but I do allow him to experiment with it.

In fact, this last time (in mid-Sept.) I let him do a complete straightening treatment and dye it back to my natural dark brown (okay, I'm very gray, but I used to have dark brown hair). I love it, but my pdoc saw it very differently and thought at first that I was manic. I'm not, and I wasn't when I got my hair done either. But I guess the difference was stark enough that it put him on the alert, and he watched me like a hawk throughout the session and warned me not to mess with my meds.

[Sinking Feeling]

I'm a 59 year old punk. I've never been mainstream

[venusss]

In fact, this last time (in mid-Sept.) I let him do a complete straightening treatment and dye it back to my natural dark brown (okay, I'm very gray, but I used to have dark brown hair). I love it, but my pdoc saw it very differently and thought at first that I was manic. I'm not, and I wasn't when I got my hair done either. But I guess the difference was stark enough that it put him on the alert, and he watched me like a hawk throughout the session and warned me not to mess with my meds.

Is you pdoc gay?

(And this story makes me even more hesitant to shrinks. I would probably end up in straight jacket and doped up comatose if somebody if manicness is judge my appearance.

I wonder what scale there would be for manicness according to appearance? And is leopard print enough to garantee hospitalization? )

[Victoria'smom]

On a manic moment I got 14 deep body corset piercings. The piercer was shocked that I hardly even winced when most give up crying after 2-4. My therapist was far less thrilled than I was when I showed her. I've never been main stream I like the plastic punk rock pornstar look personally. Lucky at 31 I'm still getting carded for tobacco products.

[Tucson]

During one of my hypomanic moments, I had my hair cut short. During another, I grew a mustache and found glasses that was uncharacteristic of me, people noticed this. But no hair dying or body piercings. But who knows? Maybe a tattoo?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by venusss

Is you pdoc gay?

(And this story makes me even more hesitant to shrinks. I would probably end up in straight jacket and doped up comatose if somebody if manicness is judge my appearance.

I wonder what scale there would be for manicness according to appearance? And is leopard print enough to garantee hospitalization? )

,

Venus,

Only if you combine leopard, zebra and buffalo with pink and orange hair