Need help. I'm new here.

I'm from Venezuela so if there's something wrong with my english, i'm sorry.

The reason why i registered is because i've been feeling "weird" for the most part of my life... Probably when i was around 12 and now i'm 25. I remember always feeling like i didn't belong anywhere and there was also depression, really big depressions that almost killed me when i was younger. I even tried to commit suicide at one point but nothing happened. I've been very sexual since i was 12 and also used to get very mad and yell at my parents and sisters... it was really horrible. I really tried to change my habits and tried to be more open to people and there was a little improvement but i still feel i need help... cause there are days when i wake up and feel so much sadness that can even take my breath away, literally... and some other days when i wake up and all i wanna do is to have sex or i get into a new plan, activity and i never ever finish it...

I haven't even been able to work... i've last no more than 3 days at any work... which makes me feel very bad about myself.

Went to the psycologist a couple of times, fist when i was around 17 and based on our first encounter he wants me to take pills for depression and i never went back. Got scared... Then i went to another one but that just went wrong... he offered me sex and i did it... anyway... 7 years later and i went to the psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago and she asked me a bunch of questions and she sent me that day to the psycologist for teraphy (they work together) but she gave me these pills called Risperidone 2mg she told me to take one every night and i've been doing it but i stopped taking them yesterday. Why? i had sex and the orgasm felt really like... nothing. And there was no "liquid" if you know what i mean... i just felt weird...

Anyway... She didn't told me i was bipolar or anything, i just think i could be (i've been doing research the past month) but i'm curious... why did she gave me that pill? it makes me feel stable and my nonstop thoughts aren't there anymore but i do feel sometimes like if i was kind of like a zombie and there's no sexual desire (i consider myself a pretty sexual person)... so... i don't know... is there anyone out there who has something to say? i'd really appreciate it. Thanks a lot for reading... i know everyone has issues with life. ..

Well certain medications certainly do affect your sex drive. Sometimes it can be a temporary set back.

From what you've described I'm glad you've seen a psychiatrist.

Your psychiatrist has put you on medication for a reason.

Can you ask your psychiatrist what they believe your "diagnosis", if any, actually is.

Zombie effects can occur when you start out on new meds too. In my opinion, don't give up on the meds just yet because it sounds as if you still need answers.

Thanks for your words... i'll try to do my best.

I'm going to the psychiatrist again next week (it's once a week) and i will ask her about what she thinks my diagnosis is.... Thanks.

I think you need to trust the doctor that gave you the meds. These types of meds are strong and it can take a while to get used to them. Give it a few months (2-3) and I bet you will start to feel more normal. If not, time to try another drug. Just be patient with the process and hang in there.

Bipolar medications making you feel numb is a very common thing. Because bipolar is an extreme of emotions, medications usually takes away emotions to fix it. What that second therapist did is illegal and he should be reported.
The important thing is to find a therapist that fits, find a medication that fits, and work on improving yourself while using medication as a crutch until you can manage without.

I 100% agree with what you said about the 2nd therapist.

Just didn't mention it because priority should be stabilizing of mood.

You have to decide, if a very active sex life, is more important than living a much better life.
I say, getting help, & getting healthier, is much better than living in turmoil.
That's just me.
*big warm friendship hug*