[venusss]

It seems I cannot enjoy the moment. Or I just have to rumminate in between the moments.

So here I am working two jobs, both quite meaningful, being full fledge political activist... this is what I always wanted.

But I still have self-doubt, if i am good enough and about what is to come. Been quite hypomanic since early September.......... so at the moment I am anxiously happy. Maybe that is just it. Hypo thoughs. Already taking care of that with my Bach essences. Self-doubt and existentialist angst will be harder to break.

And yeah, political activism is double edged sword and I see we all now balance between "we got the world, or at least we saved our poor souls" and "the end is near". There is moments when it feels so worth it. But sometimes I wanna curl up and cry over the fact "people are stupid and don't care". It tends to exhausting. But I am learning so much.

Worried about the upcoming winter. For many reasons. S.A.D. That this winter might be decisive about how this new cold war turns out. The fact that idealism might keep me warm, but that might simply not be enough if Gazprom really cuts us off

[Trippin2.0]

It's not always easy to remain present. That's why some of us actually have to be taught how


Self-doubt? Cut that shyt out, your life is going according to plan, and you're lucky enough that this plan is inline with yours. Shyt, you actually managed to follow a damn plan!


I'm still winging it, mapless and all as my plans never pan out


Try to stay in the here and now, even if it's not really enjoyable, it beats worrying about wars and coming winters.


Ps. Curling up on the couch isn't always a bad thing. I'm curled up right now. Not in tears, but rather actively avoiding a stressful situation, I can deal with it tomorrow, way too exhausted to tempt a meltdown...


You're doing a great job Venus, I assure you.

[Victoria'smom]

Activitiest work is tough and I'm so glad you've been doing that. Are you able to exercise more? S.A.D. is something you have to watch out for but you can catch it early. Self doubt is not for you

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm glad you still have your idealism. It may not always seem that way, but idealists are the people who change the world and make it better. I believe that your generation will be the one to put right what mine screwed up. Being an activist is your passion. Please don't doubt yourself---sometimes it really IS that people are stupid and don't care.

Thinking of you.....hang in there.

[Onward2wards]

I am glad you have your ideals and some sense of optimism. I seem to be gradually losing mine and it's seriously messing with my head.

[RustbeltRoyalty]

You're doing a great job, even if it doesn't feel like it all the time. Much respect and admiration here, for everything you're doing!

[venusss]

Thanks everybody.

I seem to be trusting myself more in my job past few days.


However, activism triggers my paranoia, and not sure if it's merely paranoia (my fellow activists laught at me when I am startled when somebody screams in the street or at any loud noises).

I just need to be strong now.

[Victoria'smom]

I hope your paranoia subsides.

[~Christina]

I think what you are doing is a wonderful thing for so many people that cant/wont or don't know how to find there own voice.

Take care your mental health and you in general , I believe things will fall into place and it will continue to be exactly what you want and need in your life.