[newtothis31]

When I saw my p-doc earlier this week- I let him know that I was having trouble eating, and that the stress from my divorce becoming finalized was really getting to me, however- I am able to sleep at night. He pointed out that I'm at the peak time of the year for my job- that I am sleeping- and that anyone would be stressed from a divorce being finalized. He still categorizes my BP as low to moderate impact- and let me know that it looked my medicine was controlling the symptoms of bipolar, and I was just experiencing and working through an elevated level of stress.

I brought up that I go to bed by 9:30 but can barely get out of bed at 7:00AM. He thought that building in exercise into my schedule would alleviate it vs trying a different medication. I did share with him that jogging seems to cause me to get hypomanic.

I got approached by a headhunter after the appointment. While the job sounds interesting- I could just feel my mind start to race after I had the interview. I literally couldn't get away from the thoughts and implications of switching my job. Right now- I'm in a job where I have a great relationship with my boss, I have flexibility for dr appointments- getting in a bit later in the morning since I have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Work is stressful right now but it will get better when the workload decreases. I honestly do not think that I could handle another stressor on top of my divorce right now- although having more money would be nice.

So I wrote the recruiter a professional e-mail letting her know that I wouldn't be able to move forward in the process due to personal reasons. I feel like I'm letting my career ambitions down- but right now I really value stability over having yet more upheaval in my life.

What troubles me- is that after the appointment, the stress of work- I just feel like I want to cry. Not sure if this due to the grief of the divorce being finalized and being so alone, having to be the sole person over my finances, or what.

[Bipolartist]

I can relate so much to this post. I'm at the same place as you. I have been going to bed reasonably early, 9:30 or 10:00, and I still have a horrible time getting out of bed at 6:30 a.m. However, it's darker and colder out. Perfect sleeping weather, as they say. The weird thing is, when I actually manage to get out of bed earlier, like 6:00, I somehow feel better! Maybe you're getting too much sleep?

Exercise and job, same thing. I was in a really bad mental place a few years ago and took another job. It was one week from hell. A nightmare. The stress of change threw me into a tail spin and thankfully my old department took me back. They are so understanding of my "issues" that I decided it's not worth it to try to climb the ladder. it's best to just be working some place that understands. It's better than being unemployed.

Oh yeah, and exercise makes me hypomanic too!! Weird stuff and I'm not sure what advice to give you. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[~Christina]

I think everything your feeling is normal considering your situation. Divorce is horrible on anyone MI or not. I feel you did yourself a wonderful thing by passing on the other job right now, you have a understanding boss now, maybe the new one would be the reverse.

Be easy on yourself.. I cried off and on for a very long time after my first marriage ending, It's normal. Maybe try a set treat for your self every week , something to look forward to .. a manicure? a favorite dessert? something little, something to just look forward too, It just helps during a stressful time.

Take care

[newtothis31]

I think that I'm definitely getting too much sleep-I might need to work on the exercise piece and just continue to set my alarm earlier. I've caught myself waking up before the alarm but I just don't want to get moving in the morning.

The headhunter called me back and tried to talk me back into it. Getting off the phone made me feel like I made the right decision for at least right now. I still want to grow professionally, but I need to enjoy and protect the stability that I have right now.

If I can figure out the morning routine piece- that would be great.

I've been letting my four year old daughter sleep next to me. I know that she won't want to sleep next to me forever- but is there a reason why I should put my foot down on it? We've talked about it and she said, "How about when I turn five, Mom?"