[Manic Trance]

Hey guys!
I have a question for you all.
Do you guys have trouble with friendships? I am a bit of a workaholic, and have a very hard time with folks that are purely friends. I have a very hard time having a friendship outside the construct of work. My speculation is that I had such a horrible experience of social space as a young person, and that really didn't rebound tell my late teens, that I just don't trust social space, and I don't trust myself as a social being. I am pretty talented as a professional, respected, highly thought of, very busy, though people I work with def know something is up with me, and when I'm hypo or manic I kind of loose people, I am fortunate to work in an area that values eccentricity and really puts up with and actually kind of shields maverick personalities.
But friends, unless we can find a project to work on, we're finished.
I met a person on line, the only person I have ever met on line, and she moved to town from Australia, and I tried to be friends with her, and I tried to work with her. The work thing didn't happen, and in it's absence, I just can't see maintaining a relationship with her, event though she was an extremely important friend to me when we were just exchanging messages on line.
Does this resonate with anyone?
Let me know!
MT

[ozzy1313]

I get along great with people, make friends easily, but my problem is maintaining friendships because I get lazy. I don't call people back, I skip out on social functions, etc. Often I get so wrapped up in my head that I forget about other people. And it makes me sad-

[Sillywabbit]

I just told a gal recently I want to end our friendship because she was always so demanding of my time. I am a workaholic as well and have a very successful career. With my career comes long hours and when I go home I'm exhausted and want to relax. This girl always wanted to get dinner, or wake up early on my day off and get breakfast. Once in awhile is fine but she was so demanding and didn't understand that I want to rest on my days off etc. I don't have too many friends, to me it's kind of exhausting.

[Warls]

I'm a 35 y.o. male and I have the opposite problem with equally crappy consequences. I'm excessively empathetic but obsessively analytic. If someone is suffering, I can think of nothing else but what they feel like while puzzling over why they feel that way and what the obvious logical solution would be. Emotion rarely follows logic, and I should know that with my illness. Yet, I cannot control the compulsion to try to understand. I have destroyed friendships by over-analyzing and being hypo-manic and overconfident in my assumptions. I get paranoid about affecting others with my depressive moods, so I avoid social activity unless there is some sort of distraction from my internal thoughts. What do I do about that? I go somewhere with lots of people and sit there and analyze their lives, emotions, reactions, relationships... I had to give up 16 years of a career because of my inability to separate work relationships from actual friendships. When they then fail to reciprocate my overblown trust, I am destroyed, I crash, and the cycle begins again.

Maybe if you find some middle-ground; some way to bond with another person you have no prior interaction with. The australian is a terrific example, even though it didn't work. Perhaps if you look at a relationship as an ongoing project and set yourself goals of what to learn about that person, you'll be able to trick yourself into a lasting bond. Peolpe are one hell of a project, and a long term one, and you like those, right? (oooo... psychology)

[tipper1492]

Few friends if any outside wife's side of the family. Do not see my side of the family (seldom) because many years ago, I was chief of the ***** hole club. Didn't get told until after 60 I was BP. Now, and always I'm sure, just was not comfortable meeting new people. Before medicine, I could be mowing the yard while the whole time I am dwelling over my family and what they think of me, and are they trying to harm me in in some way. Like brother and sister out to get me. Own property together which can be a problem with many such siblings. Think I own the responsibility for screwing things up. Recently told two friends I was BP. Would never do that again. In my opinion most of the general public have zero idea what it is like to be mentally ill. At least I read about that, and only now studies being done about that now. Study I read said mentally ill have two hard realities to deal with. One is their mental illness, and the other is how the public judges them. Many people do not want to have anything to do with mental illness.

[Manic Trance]

Thanks to you guys for your responses. I have considered that idea, looking at friendships as like a project, bringing the aire of work to it. could work. Anyhow, as with all things on this forum, it is mainly just good to know that others are out there!

[radioactive1]

I have been burned so much by my birth family and alleged friends in the past that I am not very trusting of people. My wife is my best friend. I have a few other friends, but I don't as a rule get close to other people.

Despite the BP1, I have been married for 2 months now to a girl that has been my best friend all my life. Has it been easy? No it hasn't. I struggle with the relationship because of my own fears and paranoia. I'm constantly worried about what I am going to do next that will hurt her, or scare her. But as long as you keep on with psychiatric intervention and take care of yourself, I think that anything can be a good thing.

[wiretwister]

no friends, no social contact outside of work, really no life at all