Introduction

Hi, I am new here, I'm a 38 year old female, married, Bipolar I with anxiety and sleep problems. I see a psychiatrist, have tried therapy, take my meds, but for some reason things seem to be getting worse lately. I have recently been experiencing mild signs of psychosis. I hear noises and sometimes voices and on occasion smell things that aren't there. The voices are not speaking directly to me, it's more in the background, multiple voices that I cannot understand. Last night I heard music while lying in bed. The thing that helps me tell the difference in what is real and what isn't is my dogs. They would go berserk if the things I'm hearing were real. This is a newish symptom for me (last 6 months). I haven't mentioned this to my doc yet because I had a disability claim and didn't want to look like I was just making things up to get approved. My hearing was in Sept. so I have an appointment next Thursday to see my doc. Things have become much worse lately. I feel like such a burden. I don't understand what my purpose in this world could possibly be. I isolate myself, leaving home for groceries, med refills and dr’s appts. I can't stand the thought of leaving the house. I sleep as much as possible because it is my only escape. My marriage suffers because of the way I am. I feel so lost and ashamed of who I am. I'm getting to the point where I no longer see the bright light at the end of the tunnel, I just feel hopeless.

Welcome to PsychCentral.

Welcome, for some of us age brings more stability, for others less stability. I also use my dog as a reality check. I urge you to try therapy again at least couples therapy. So that you're able to function without sleeping as an excape. I feel we're here to be kind, giving others just a little more cheer in their lives.

hi.

welcome to the forum

Welcome. Your amongst a great group of friends with a lot of valuable life experience. I hope you find the answers you seek.

Hugs

Welcome, partybear. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Bipolar can do some wild things to us. I understand your concern about mentioning this to your doc but I think she would be understanding. You're manifesting a fairly common symptom of Bipolar I. That feeling of hopelessness is also the bipolar talking. I've been there, more than once, and since I was (correctly) diagnosed bipolar, I am determined never to go back there again. That takes work and education, but you know it's worth it. I hope that you can pull out this depression soon, with the help of your medical pros. I also hope that your visits here to PC are fruitful as you continue on your healing journey.

Welcome to the PC Forum. There is so much support and wisdom here. I hope you find what you need. Hugs.

Welcome to the group

Sounds like your meds are pretty useless.. Please let your Pdoc know, sometimes just a small change in meds can make a world of difference.

As for hearing things... It happens to me often if I'm really struggling. You can have and deserve a brighter happier life living with Bipolar.

Welcome to PC

You make a good point about the dogs going berserk if the things you're hearing are real. If my dog were to hear music at 3 AM like I do sometimes, she would make darn sure my husband and I knew about it! Anyway, welcome to PC.....I think you'll find us a supportive bunch.

Thank y'all for the welcome. I've struggled with this for most of my life, but for some reason this time just feels different. The hearing things is new and I don't know if that mY be the problem. I always thought I was doing all the right things to prevent progression of the illness, but now I just don't know what to think.