[DelusionsDaily]

TOMORROW!!!!!! They don't work! They are all placebo s**t!! I'm so done with meds, NP, and T. DONE ABSOLUTELY DONE!!!!!!!

[Crazy Hitch]

I feel your frustration oh man I do.

I went for over a year with meds that did absolute bugger all for me and my old pdoc refused to change them no matter how much I complained. It was a living nightmare!

I am so glad my new pdoc has an open mind - I've told her what meds are simply not working for me and she's changed a few things.

It's a month later and I finally feeling like I'm crawling out of the medication hell hole.

I stopped all meds a few years ago and let's just say it didn't end very well. Proceed with caution.

[DelusionsDaily]

I don't care how it ends...I REFUSE to continually POISON my body with meds that do NOT work.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

TOMORROW!!!!!! They don't work! They are all placebo s**t!! I'm so done with meds, NP, and T. DONE ABSOLUTELY DONE!!!!!!!

What? Are you sure you dont want to at least taper? Whats going on??

[DelusionsDaily]

****ing agitated, irritable anxious in my mania and drugs aren't helping so I'm stopping all of them!

[unaluna]

As an old hippie, my advice would be more or different drugs. I do hope your NP responds. People here do care about how you feel.

[DelusionsDaily]

I'm so miserable. I'm crying off and on. It sucks to be me.

[sui generis]

If your meds aren't working and you've given them a chance I don't blame you for wanting to stop, just be careful and taper. Are you going to talk to your pdoc about this? You could try something else if you're willing. I've struggled with not wanting to take meds this year but I've just been trying till I find something that works. Don't give up

p.s. I was surprised to learn you were on effexor, I've heard it can trigger (hypo)manic episodes more so than other anti-depressants as it's more stimulating due to it being a SNRI. I'm sure it works for some people without it triggering an episode.

[unaluna]

Can you get a massage? Sometimes my hairdresser rubs my neck and shoulders and its like i had no idea i was so sore and tight, its really painful. It creeps up on you and i think you can just not be aware of the physical pain youre in. Thats probably another reason that you need 10 hugs a day to be healthy - just so someone is touching your back, keeping you in touch with your body.

[CozyMellie]

I hear you. I've definitely been there. But please wean yourself off. They may not have helped you but don't forget, they're still chemicals, and they're in your system. If you pull the plug suddenly it could major damage your brain or other parts of your body and you'll feel even worse than how you feel now. Take care buddy. We are here for you.

[Victoria'smom]

Can I ask which meds you're on?

[MujerTriste]

I totally relate to how you feel. I feel toxic and I want to go off my meds. They don't work anyway so why bother. I am crying all day and when I am not I want to punch someone in the face.
That said, I am still a nurse and I know enough about the physiology of the body to go slow with it even though I don't want to. I am talking to my Pdoc tomorrow about a taper off of one med. After that taper I will see where I am at and try another taper.
I want them all out. I want to have a clean slate. I don't know what med is doing what to me anymore.
I so totally feel your pain. I hope it gets better soon and I hope you come up with a solid plan.

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Can I ask which meds you're on?

AM: Risperidone 1mg
Midday: Risperidone 0.5mg
8PM: Risperidone 1mg, DepakoteER 1,000mg

[Victoria'smom]

Do you think you'd be willing to try an AP 4with a longer half life?

[DelusionsDaily]

Like what?

[Victoria'smom]

Abilify, latuda, fanamp (pm),invega, rasperadon (pm), saphris, and zyprexa have an 18+ hr half life. So in theory they could be taken 1x a day. Which reduces the amount of time you have to think about meds.

[Sprite22]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

I don't care how it ends...I REFUSE to continually POISON my body with meds that do NOT work.

I totally get this...me too. Darned if you don't, then darned if you do.

[DelusionsDaily]

I'd consider anything that will work but first I gotta get myself off what I am on right now.

I've considered 1st gen AP's because I know they've worked for me as PRN's in hospital.

It's 9:08 and I have yet to hear back from NP about what we are going to do to get this better QUICK! I'm so pissed off right now!

[DelusionsDaily]

Called NP again...they're going to talk to her and call back. I'm having such a hard time right now. I'm crying a lot. Ick! I hate this.

[Disorder7]

I do not blame you for wanting off Depakote. I refuse to take Depakote or Lithium. That's just not going to happen.

But there are many other choices out there. And you can take some very low doses.

If you absolutely refuse and insist on being med-free, I would at least taper slowly. You can have some nasty withdrawal symptoms.

[Disorder7]

On a side note, Abilify has an outrageous half life. It takes 20 days for it to completely clear out of your blood plasma! That also means withdrawal isn't a problem.

I take Abilify every other day because the half life is so long. It helps the symptoms, but I feel less zombiefied when I skip a day.

Both Abilify and Prozac have very long half lives. My doctor knows I'm not the most med compliant person in the world, so he fixed that problem for me. Lol

[DelusionsDaily]

Well, I heard back...upped the DepakoteER and I see her tomorrow at 10:30. Gonna ask for a PRN tomorrow I think.

[DelusionsDaily]

See NP tomorrow at 10:30. I'm nervous. I don't know what to say.

I just wanna be in Chicago visiting my nephew.

[Victoria'smom]

I hope it goes well

[cupcakesncrossbones]

I did that for a few months...i'm not going to lie...nothing bad happened...I felt better than ever; I felt motivated, I had more energy, I had better focus and concentration, and best of all, I even began to respond to people in a more "appropriate" way...and I didn't feel like a walking zombie...however, i just agreed to start taking Latuda....my psychiatrist and I compromised...I was on Lithium ER, Seroquel ER and Wellbutrin XL...I told her that I would agree to take ONE med...and it couldn't cause weight gain...and I wanted a new one...so Latuda it was...the ONLY reason I agreed to take it is this...she reminded me that when you have a mental illness, the longer you go without medication, the harder it is to treat when you actually need it. So...try a med change instead. PLEASE. Don't get to the point where nothing is going to help you because you've been non-compliant. It's not worth it.