Purging My Emotions

Some weeks it's so hard to shake the cob-webs of shame from my past.
Even purging my emotions doesn't seem to relieve the pain, loss, and fears. I'm haunted by my nightmares and harder still to break the isloation of lonliness.

blackboxnurse | Mental Health

Bipolar Type 1
Cymbalta 60mg QD
Lamictal 200mg QD
Seroquel 50mg QHS
Restoril 30mg QHS PRN (taking last few nights)

Never feel shame about the past, you can't change it
Don't let it control your here and now
Sometimes I wonder if we are not meant to purge them, but
remember them for lessons in the future

You are stonger then you think

I can relate both to the past regrets and present loneliness. However it's as you said-- they are cobwebs of shame. It is our illness which makes us feel shame for things we have done that we had little or no control over. And the loneliness is alleviated at least a bit by all the great posters here at PC. So take heart, InsideBlackBox. The past only has such power over us as we allow it to.

Shame is such an intense experience. I have shame flashbacks too. I've enjoyed learning about the new self-compassion movement in self-help. You might like to Google it.

i agree with the writers above, Our past can only hurt us if we allow it to. It is our own perception that gives it power or takes the power away. I can relate to the notion of things from the past. I think we all have things we have done that are not pretty or helpful, but as I learned from DBT. The past is what it is because we did the best we could at that time. If we could have done better at that time, then we would have. Beating ourselves up only hurts us. I hope you can find some peace within the words written in our posts. Be safe my friend.

There are some situations I can look at now, no matter how bad, and just laugh at myself and see the humor in what I did. Nothing I can do to change it and it's just how I get by.

Not so easy for current situations though.