[Welder]

My wife is a very good women with alot of good qualities one of which she is a very sucessful career women. I don't work. She is the main bread winner. She is stressed with work, my illness, and our two young daugthers, 9 & 13 and life in general. She is having some minor issues with her work, but her job is defentily stable. She worries about all these and voices her stress to me often, sometimes she could be a lit more gentle with it. We have been though alot the last three years, but things are starting to turn around. I just don't see all the reasons to worry or be sad about the past events. When she vents to me I feel guilty, that I am the cause of her stress and worry. I usally have a small crying spell over it about everyday. Should I just listen, let her vent and try not to let it bother me? This is not new for her it is either getting worse or I'm having a harder time with it.
Don't what to do.
Thanks

[Darvula]

Hi. Sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Without knowing your wife it's difficult to comment, but I think if both partners are stressed they can exacerbate each other's problems. Does she know that her venting upsets you? You say you cry - is she aware of that? If she doesn't realise, I would explain to her in a non-confrontational way how you feel.

[Welder]

Thanks, Darvula

[tipper1492]

I'd guess, if she is willing, you need outside help from psychologist or someone similar. Long ago I was in group therapy, not including my wife, and just hearing others with similar stories helped me greatly. It's very hard not knowing just what she is feeling and thinking: and I can fully understand that is a large weight to deal with, the not knowing and what I might be able to do to help her. I believe if each partner is not understanding each other, then there are other things that may also be getting in the way.