tired of acting stronger than I feel!

I understand it can be difficult accessing, getting good professional help and support.

i am feeling your pain just by reading your posts. I do not know what is going on due to the cryptic messages being posted, but I hope things turn around for you. I know from my past experiences the words you are choosing sound similar to those I chose when I was contemplating suicide. It was shortly after that I did attempt. I hope that is not what I am reading and if it is I think it would be good to reach out to some help. I do not know if you're in pain due to health or emotional pain. I can state that feeling like I live in hell for many years , it is not easy. Please be strong and ask for help. None of. Us our islands and none of us can survive alone all the time. Be safe.

Most days they're one and the same to me. Like, I'm being forced to watch myself die, and there's nothing to be done about it! I just get tired of fighting what seems to be inevitable and impending in my near future.

Thank you so much! I really don't think I have the guts for that...... but I Have given serious consideration as to whether or not I would accept treatment if I find out that I have something life threatening. And as of now, that hasn't been ruled out because I never followed up with the other Dr.

It is true that you can try to get professional help and support for illness, and if feeling suicidal but people aren't always able to get positive outcomes of trying to seek help they need. Mental health professionals don't always treat people with care and concern or take them seriously.

Don't give in to it. You are stronger than the demon chasing you.
You will win, you will always win.
When you try, you will always defeat the demon

I know you can, simply by reading your posts

You moved me to tears with this! Thank you sooo much! I never really thought anyone paid any attention to what I say! Lol. Thanks again for reminding me who I am! Much love to you!

To hell with it all! I've had enough. I'm fed up and tired of trying.
I'm just.........DONE!!!

:/ I know the feeling

Yep! I think this day is about to seal my fate!

God help the next person who crosses me today! I'm in an extremely aggressive, manic state right now! No good can come from this!

Try to hang on things get better.

This man needs to get his sorry @$$ out of my house before things get really ugly!!!!!

Take a deep breath
Close your eyes

You are a warrior, and you can do anything

I see you, in a past life, as a warrior.
You are standing, on a hill, looking down, protecting
your village.

Amazing strength and a heart of love

That strength is still there, just look inside

You have not come back in a while

What is going on?

Thank you SO MUCH for this! It sounds alot like what I do now!

Some days I feel the same way but I'm reminded of the gratitude that I have in my life. It may be quiet now but life has a way of changing all on its own...so I am trying to embrace my singleness and the beautiful weather. ..breathe deeply

[QUOTE=Standup2me;4240917]You have not come back in a while

What is going on?[/QUOTE

I've been busy lately, but I'm back. Had to help take care of my mom and do some work around her property. Can't do anything on the weekends because I have to babysit my grandkids. I was doing better out there than I am when I have to come back and face the stress at home! Here, my tension and anxiety rises through the roof! I feel trapped, backed into a corner, and I want to come out fighting! Just too much drama here.
Thank you for checking on me!

I just came across your posting. It seems like you've gone ten rounds with an emotional Mike Tyson. I hope you're taking good care of yourself.

[QUOTE=MotherMarcus;4247746]I just came across your posting. It seems like you've gone ten rounds with an emotional Mike Tyson. I hope you're taking good care of yourself.[/QUOTE

Pretty much. But I feel more like Muhammad Ali, WAY past his prime, and retired from the fight. I'm sick and tired of making up excuses to keep myself going. I use the term "excuses" instead of "reasons" because there seems to be no real good reason for my being here at all anyway. Everything feels like a waste of time and effort, as nothing I ever do makes any difference in the world in any kind of way! So what the hell am I doing here?