Relationships?

I have just been dumped for the 10 time maybe - this one I was soooooo in love with & it's very difficult for me to let things go (it always has been) it takes years for me to get over someone.

My question is - how do bi polar ppl stay in relationships? They ALL say they cant handle my ups and downs & say I'm mentally abusive. I'm an extreme rapid cycle bi polar. I don't want to be alone forever - but I know how much I hurt each men in my relationships. I'm a crazy b***h sometimes & feel like I've tried everything. I have the same problems keeping friends & family. I have no friends right now.

How does everyone else stay with someone?

wish I had some good words to share. Had two very long relationships that ended. And a few short. Not sure they ended due to my bp. Think it was combination of variables not in my control. I can state that they still hurt and I still think about them. Think it is hard to get over and understand no matter what reason. I hope you find someone. I know I am done looking and not sure I have another in me. Best of luck.

Bi girl you find out, let me know. Having issues here myself, so you are not alone. Huggles

Are you in treatment to lessen your bipolar symptoms? Yes having a relationship can be difficult when Bipolar but not impossible. Are you proactive about staying mentally healthy? How are you hurting them?

I have the same questions as Christina. When I was an undiagnosed and untreated rapid cycler I pretty much destroyed my marriage but now I am in treatment it is much easier to control my behavior. I still have my crazy moments but they are less often. I am now in a new relationship and it is going well. I really hope I can avoid messing this one up and I think I have a good chance of success due to meds and ongoing therapy.

Im sorry you're in this situation. It can be so difficult sometimes.

We can be high maintenance - and it can be trying for others to keep up with us.

I really don't have that many friends. Think I've scared them away. Especially during my episodes. But I'm working on this with my T.

Be well and know that I think that this is something I think you can work through, with support.

After five divorces I wish I had an answer too

Agree with Hooligan, we are high maintenance.

I also think that sometimes (well, for me anyway) people think that
they can "cure us".

That we "need" them

I had one ex tell me that if I quit the meds and went to the gym more
I would be cured

I've never even been given the opportunity to ruin a relationship, as no one has ever wanted me...

As for me. I don't think I could handle a romantic relationship without someone that doesn't have BP.

My husband understand's the depression and the regret, and pick up after mania. The feelings of uncontrol-ness, the mixed, the pills, the alternative reality when psychotic, painful axiety, pills, therapy and all the other BS that comes with BP. We understand how to protect each other. However we don't see how bad things are for the other person when in our own episodes.

I understand you pretty well, I have ruined many of my previous relationships, because of me being abusive and aggressive during episodes. Now I'm with men who has suffered from depression and has his bad moments every now and then so we have made a deal to forgive each other of those out of control moments.

I'm right there with ya. I completely destroyed my marriage long before I was diagnosed. Now that we know what my problems are my X forgives, but cant forget.

Personally, I have given up on any relationship more serious than a friend. I don't want to subject someone to my mood swings (even on meds I have them, just not as severe).

I will bet that there are those who do but are too shy/scared, etc to talk to you

I was never diagnosed with bipolar or anything, but I do have mood swings. sometimes, I chalk it up to being a woman. lol, but in my experience, a guy who truly loves you will deal with everything. (in my opinion) I put my bf thru some stuff with my way of thinking sometimes & over a year later, he's still here. but I also believe men can be the same way. they have moments too. you'll find that man for you girl. keep your chin up!

I've been abusive and lost many relationships because of it. Then one day I met a man who wouldn't leave. He absolutely insisted that I get help, but swore he would never leave because I had a problem.
You will find that, too. Many will leave because it's just too much to take. But then one day, someone will stay.

I've honestly been too scared to let anyone in. I've never let a relationship get far enough for me to ruin with my bipolar. If you ever find a way to make it work...and I hope that you do...I hope that we both do...Well, I guess there's always some reason to keep trying no matter how much it hurts.

Hi. (: I'm sorry you were broken up with. When that happens to me I remind myself that what's meant to be will be, and apparently they weren't the one for me.. I used to be abusive but I don't let myself be that way anymore because I just feel embarrassed & regretful later. If I feel like lashing out I give myself space from that person and don't talk to them until I have calmed down. That works better for me. I remind myself how fleeting my feelings are. I tell them I appreciate them & I'll talk to them when I'm in a better frame of mind. "When you're angry you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."

And I also agree with Disorder7! The right person will stay. My new bf has depression and says he likes me just the same after I told him I have bipolar. And he is so kind and sweet that I refuse to allow myself to lash out or take advantage of him. And he is so sweet I want to stay in therapy and get on meds and get my life together. You will find someone. (: Stay focused on you and loving yourself. (: