[JoeGrun11b]

So after two three month episodes of what I later found out is hypomanic episodes, nearly ruining my life and destroying my marriage - my therapist at the VA pulled out a book, rattled off a string of behaviors that fit my behaviors perfectly.

She prescribed Lamotrigen. After taking it for about three weeks now, I'm in a conundrum...

I don't know if the Lamotrigen is causing me to have tons of energy and have a shiny outlook on everything, or am I in the beginnings of another episode and the Lamotrigen is keeping me in the shallow end of the tide pool. I looked at the side effects of the drug and it has everything from my skin falling off to "stopping breathing", but no bursts of energy.

As much as I absolutely love the feeling of the hypomanic episodes, they scare me because I know the cost of them.

Anyone on Lamotrigen? Do you have an inordinate amount of energy, focus and drive, or am I not seeing the forest for the trees here?

Thanks
JoeGrunt (that's what my username is supposed to be but I got autocorrected and didn't notice and I don't have the patience to make another account, so JoeGrun it is!!)

[HALLIEBETH87]

My Dr says I am too!

[Mountainbard]

Hello Joe-- I can relate to your concern. I was undiagnosed for years and my hypomania wreaked havoc with my life. I'm on lamotrigen as well, and have been for about 8 months now. I'm vigilant about a possible hypomanic episode but haven't had one yet. As for the lamotrigen, my understanding is it is supposed to help prevent mania/hypomania, so maybe what you're feeling is the "shallow end of the tide pool." I guess what I'd ask myself would be whether this is in fact an inordinate amount of energy. If I thought it was, I'd contact my pdoc. But if it just feels like I'm having some good days, I'd just try to enjoy it.

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah I'm on lamatrogine but it's pulling me from a depressive episode into a more stable one, so no, I don't have these bouts of energy because I never had them when I began the medication. I dare say so far it is somewhat stabilizing me ....

[~Christina]

Lamictal typically works in the background making more a difference on keeping the depression at bay... Never gave me an energy, but everyone responds differently

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer , Lithium is the first actual medication for the treatment of Bipolar, kinda the "Gold standard" so to be speak, Discuss with your Pdoc, All psych meds have a laundry list of side effects.

Do keep in mind that even tho medications can help keep you "stable" but you will still have mood changes and they are not always a bad thing, they are just normal mood changes, like every human being has. If your in a great mood its not always "Bipolar causing it" If your in a sad mood its not always "bipolar causing it"

Welcome to PC

[kmptrgeek]

I went almost a year on nothing but anti-depressants and Seroquel as a PRN and for sleep. That was when I was diagnosed with MDD. After I switched both doctors they both came to the same conclusions and my diagnosis was changed to BPII and put on Lamictal. It took about 48 hours and then it hit me and I felt like I had just drank 20 Red Bulls and couldn't sit down. It wore off after a few hours, but it leveled me out for the first time I can remember. My psych described it like this "When you're making a cake and all you have is flour, you're cake doesn't work because you're missing the egg. Lamictal is the egg for bipolar." That's his way of saying I could have taken every anti-depressant on the planet and none of them would work for long, because I needed a mood stabilizer. After the initial bungee jump from Lamictal, any effects I feel are when I can manage to stay in the "safe zone". So I guess it is kind of working in the background. I think of it as the egg that's keeping my cake together.

[JoeGrun11b]

Well, I don't really deal with depression all that much. My problem is textbook bp2... Lots of highs, inflated sense of self, I feel like I know the secrets of the universe, I feel like I can see on most women's face if they want me and most times I feel like they do, I flirt too much and that line of what's appropriate sexually is very blurred. I have that feeling of "I got this" when I'm doing something I know is wrong and I have a hard time feeling bad about it.

It's not good, but it feels so good to be that me. That version of me has a name. And I've been told it's very bad to have an identity with your hypomanic self but it was an identity placed on me, not something I created.

I'm only 36. I thought maybe I was going through a midlife crisis early until I was diagnosed. But looking back at my life, these elements weren't really there until a year and a half ago. I have journal entries back in my first full on episode that seem like the ramblings of a crazy man.i try to keep writing just so maybe I can see it if it comes back, but I know I wont.

[JoeGrun11b]

My hypomanic self has a separate identity that was given to me by some army buddies. Even back before the episodes started, my friends recognized that there was regular "joe Grunt" and then there was Tyrone. Tyrone seems very real sometimes to the point where I wonder if I have a second personality... But I don't think it's nearly that dramatic. My therapist says it's bad to give it an identity.

But it feels so good to be Tyrone. He is better than me, he's more confident, he don't care what people think, he says all the right things... He does a lot of wrong, but he doesn't care, which is the problem. So yeah - im a mess.

[JoeGrun11b]

So last night I got about 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I get up at 6 to make lunches and get the kids ready for school... Not grouchy. I have a lot of energy. But even though im not grouchy - one slight thing and I'm barking at the kids. So I catch myself mid-sentence and change the tone to sarcasm.

Guys & gals... I really hope these meds keep things to a minimum. I can't put my wife through this again. I haven't had that irrisitable sexual overload that feels like I have too much testosterone, so - so far so good. I just have a great outlook and lots of energy.

Who needs sleep anyway? Not us, lol

[HALLIEBETH87]

oh my gosh guys! I just finished the prison ministry today that Ive been doing since Friday. I was so so worried about being hypomanic because I get really irritable and such and I cant exactly be in that state while serving in a state correctional facility.

So I followed my religious belief and prayed and its been gone all weekend!!!

WOO OOOO HOOOO

[JoeGrun11b]

I've been doing lots of praying too, but I'm still in a bad place. I feel like a predator on the plains when I go out in public.

[*PeaceLily*]

I know what you mean. I am having this feeling today. Hypomania is scary because I love it. It has led me to bad places, and definately switched into full mania and mixed mania on the wrong drugs and I've done things I'm to this day confused and ashamed about.I have had big problems with inappropriate sexualised behaviour also

It's awful because I love the feeling at first.I'll even drink coffee/caffeinated drinks to 'up' it more and more. I can literally feel it increasing in intensity.
the feeling is kind of like having sex but that is possibly the weirdest thing to say, but that's what I liken it to.

I can feel myself getting signs of getting more like that atm- pressured speech, no need for food and sleep, desire for coffee, suddenly getting more confident. it scares me these days. It would never get as bad as it did in the past because I was on ssris, the worst meds for shooting people into mania, so I'm not scared of doing some of the stuff I once did, but there is still that perpetual fear, whilst enjoying the feeling. i will never be able to do as much damage to my reputation as I did on the wrong meds, but i'm aware I'm just generally more inappropriate and driven in weird ways when I'm like this, and i don't want to give off that vibe or get given an opportunity to **** up or do something ****ed up.

I don't think a mood stabiliser can cause this.they stop it going to a bad place.Love the thread title because that's what it always is- a surprise! :-)

I've never don anything too shocking in my rather hard to shock opnion whilst just hypomanic.I kind of got shocking/wtf with it when I went manic, but I'm not really sure where the line is drawn between hypomania and mania.

I even can see the way I post differently on here in terms of the way I write sentences when i feel like this, and the words I use.It is a weird phenomenon for sure