[LastQuestion]

I've spent most of this year trying to figure things out, find a solution, to believe my life can improve. I feel weary, old, used up. It follows me in every mood, day after day, growing in intensity. I get so tired of not being able to get helpful advise or counsel. Just me, limited as I am, my terrible memory, inability to focus, difficulty learning - there's no pill to fix it, clinical psychologists have told me I'm not cognitively able to benefit from therapy, I'm just alone with nothing to enjoy, just pain, more pain, today, tomorrow, month after month...

It's depressing. I try to distract from it and this sometimes works, but only so long. Eventually I'll encounter something that reminds me of how inescapable things are, then I... I want to cry. I just can't stand this.

The only people which have bothered listening with the intent to understand and directly address the challenge I face have been paid to do so and the counsel they provide amounts to shrugging their shoulders. I am left to my own devices, my brain whispers suicide to me - since no one has had better ideas I find myself wondering if perhaps it is time to heed it's advise. I am tired, tired, so tired. Weary yet never sleepy, I sleep but never rest, I wake but and am alert; it is as if there is no time, no change, no future, no present, no movement from the hopelessness of my situation - it follows, creeping beside me, always there, ready, waiting, with a patience I have tried to match but I am exhausted by the effort and have ever less desire to outlast it.

I do not want tomorrow.

[Justugh]

killing yourself does not work

check yourself into the hospital and take a break let them mess with the pills and drugs

You are a good writer. Have you tried short stories at all?

I'm alone, too, and have found therapy futile. It doesn't bother me, tho. I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Don't forget about crisis lines. I've found them to be very helpful.

Do you like reading?

I hope you feel better soon!

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry to hear that you're not in a good place right now.

Depression can take its toll on us mentally and physically and push us to breaking point.

Try and ground yourself in the moment. Become aware of when you are thinking of yesterday and stop. And likewise become aware when you're anxious about the future. Cope with what you can cope with today. Choose just one task that you can do today. Not everything has to be thought about or considered today. Otherwise it can get a little overwhelming and bring us further down.

I hope you find some solace here.

[Wander]

I am sorry you are in so much pain. You shouldn't have to live like that. If you ever start planning your death please seek help by calling a crisis line or taking yourself to hospital. Your life is worth it. Take care.

[CharleyBrown]

I don't have any answers. I have the exact same questions for myself. I agree. You are a really good writer.

[Justugh]

ok ........trust me ppl i have something in mind

say u are tired of it all just want a rest ...........what if 2/3 of the world population is right and go to some kind of hell .........at that point do u not think it would just loop every day so it was just like the one u finally broke and did it .....like the guy pushing the boulder up the hill just have to do it again and again and again until the end of time

u have heard it million times death is but a doorway ..........to where no one knows and personally i rather skip going on anything hellish .......the other side sounds more fun .....and if all that is crap and it is come back as something i want to be a river otter

buddy has a idea that the white light is a giant bug zapper .....zzzzzzzzzzzz nothing

[Love&Toil]

Last Question you are a beautiful writer. I am sorry for your pain.