Absences from work

I take about one sick day a month. Or sometimes two and then nothing for a couple of months. Usually a couple of days a month, around the time of ovulation and at my period, I feel like I cannot function or cope at work, I am dizzy, I have mood issues, I am exhausted, I can't be upright, etc. etc. etc. I am nervous about the potential for being hauled in by my Manager for a discussion about my attendance. I work in a unionized environment and know that I have support. But if I get hauled in and we set new thresholds for attendance and I don't meet those... or I come to work even when I am not feeling well and just force myself to get through the day and end up fainting again at work or crying again at work... these things are not good. As it is now I have been forcing myself to come to work a lot more times when I have felt like I need to be at home. I have learned that I can work when very dizzy and still be productive. So that has been enlightening and instructional. But sometimes it feels like a gamble... I don't know what I'm going to get from the day.

The truth is I am very productive when I am working and have lots of experience so I can handle very complex situations independently and reliably. I am very good at my job. I think that's why I haven't gotten hauled in already. But I am nervous I might.

It's unsettling to feel this "threat"........ that my job may be in question due to my attendance. I don't want to be fired because of my attendance.

I think I'm overly sensitive to this right now as our union is going through bargaining and has been describing the employer's attitude to sick time, etc. I guess I'm just feeling sensitive about that.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I just had to get that off my chest. Anybody else care to share their experiences with attendance, work and sick time?

So as long as you are within policy, you are within policy.

I had this happen to me at an old job.....Had my son and then had months of being sick and other issues. Co had policy of 10 days, plus whatever grandfathered days, of which I had 3.

They tried to write me up on attendance, and in the meeting, I told them that they could not write me up for non-compliance with a policy that I was in compliance on. I'd taken 8-9 of 10 days (plus 3 GFd days) Boy, they tried to make it stick, but i became a broken record "point to the policy that I am not in compliance with", "point to where my total sick days taken are", "explain to me which mathematical universal absolutes have changed to make 8 days more than 10 days"; Okay, let's take this from the top. I think I went through it three times before they glommed onto the true deficiencies of intellect that they had compared to me.

Stick to your guns. You don't have to tell them anything about your health when you need time off. In fact, if you do, then they have to comply with HIPAA, which they don't want to do.

Trust me, I know the feeling, I have GAD too, and am currently in a first class freak out, because I have to ask for accommodations due to my issues.

YOu may want to see a doctor about the menstrual/hormonal issues though. What you are experiencing is beyond the normal and may be indicative of something that could be addressed.....also are you taking iron, because a lot of your issues are consistent with anemia. I would start some iron now, and see if that helps. NO need to see the doc for iron pills.

Now please turn around and tell me that I am probably not interpreting things at work correctly due to anxiety and that I should chill out, get some sleep and it will be better in the morning.

Thank you for your post bigblackdog because it sure helps to know I'm not alone. I like the broken record technique you used to stick to your guns. Your story helped put things into perspective.

The thing is, I have passed the policy of 9 days this year. I have been absent 13.5 days. This happened last year too. They haven't come after me yet. I guess it just makes me uneasy because I'm not sure why.

I have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (severe PMS) so the fact that I have absences related to this at times is to be expected. I guess I could do a better job taking care of myself though by taking evening primrose oil and watching my diet and exercise. It's just that these self-care things require energy and patience and TIME..... things I don't have as I am working FT and caring for 3 small children and household management....

Thanks for the reminder about iron. Actually I've been meaning to go get myself tested for deficiencies etc.

As for your plight... what kind of accommodations are you requesting at work at the moment? I hope you get a restorative sound sleep that gives you another perspective in the morning.

I am on intermittent FMLA for my BP and by law I am allowed 480 hours in a rolling twelve months. If I didn't have this I would have lost my job a long time ago.

I was also on intermittent fmla at my old job. It certainly helped knowing my job was protected. One downside of this is having all of your coworkers wondering how or why you are on fmla.

hi nice ppl

never had this issue but my father was a EEO trainer for 2 weeks a year for as long as i could rem

listen to all his stories about things over the years i know u have more then just sick days
personal days(3/4 a year) and vacation days (7-14 days a year)

alot of times they allow u to roll over what ever u did not use to a set maximum when my father retired he got 9 months worth of pay with out working 3 for back up time and 6 for getting layed off ........he was bechtel

one thing i do know to make ppl less stubborn .............if u are ever in a meeting and u feel something like that is going on strong arm u out /bully u ........turn your phone to recorder mode and clearly state to all in the room u feel like u are being bully and threatened....i am reacording this chat from this point on .........then calmly keep to your guns point out u did not break anything......... please point it out where you agreed to any modifiation that they say was added since .....if they keep repeating it not taking what u are saying just pushing what ever point they are using say i feel i need council u are making this a hostile workplace for me i feel assaulted ..........pick up your phone turn off the recording and leave

this is all assuming they are just going to try to convince u did something wrong and u should leave on own accord so not technically firing u....to be nice they will only say good things

if u stay calm make sure to say they are being recorded and then just go on with the meeting calm collect .........it show what they are u have the best proof and a lawsuit on them ..........they can allow u to do u work or u can retire now on their dime

if u are union .........check your contract and see if a meeting like this if u are allowed a union rep in with u ...........this would break their flow in middle of the trying to convince u talk ....shake them up they will drop it or go after it but u got someone in there that know the agree about matter (call ******** on them if they are lying )

one lady that knew about grandfather days ..........nice work

Hmmm I responded but it didnt go through. Testing

Thanks for weighing in, it is tremendously helpful to hear others' experiences. I know I can have a union rep attend with me and will do so when the time comes. It is just unsettling that they haven't come after me and I don't know why. Maybe because I am up to date with all my work, I don't get client complaints, etc. Just waiting for the shoe to drop. I live in Canada, fyi.

Oh gawd. I am going home from work in tears along with dizziness. They wanted to send me home in a cab but my sis is coming to get me. This is embarassing but whatever.

I got a lot of pressure about sick leave when i worked. I am also Canadian but worked in a non-unionized job. I was outraged because i had 53 days banked! It was so unfair. My boss gave me pamphlets about STD and LTD but my jerk of a psychiatrist wouldn't support me.

I wound up getting LTD after leaving my job with the help of a lawyer but things got very messy before i won. I find being off work is immensely helpful.

It sounds like you're spending a lot of energy worrying about being punished for sick leave. You might like to consider checking out your worries with management. It could be that it's not a problem and you can relax. If it *is* a problem, you could start the application for STD. It's best to apply in an orderly fashion -- something i found out the hard way!

Best of luck which ever way it goes!

I just received paperwork for FMLA from HR but I am conflicted about persuing it. I worry too about what people will think/ speculate about me. It sucks when you know you need some time to get well but you're afraid of the consequences. I'm sorry many of you are going through this too.

nice lady

is it possible for u to telecommute..........days u are feeling off like that u stay home and work from the house

u know access the office computer and do work from yours ......video chat ppl if need be (best part of this since it is video chat u can do the guy thing ....nice shirt or whatever and then just boxers they can only see your face and chest so why put pants on if u do not need too) ...........u get your work done the boss is happy u are safe win win for everyone.....and your work offering yah to get a cab is a good thing means they care so odds of u getting fired is very little .........if they were going to fire yah why would they go out of way to offer a cab or anything u are fired

oh nice canook lady can i ask a ? .............i knew a lady from up there in kingston she told me that ladies are allowed to walk around topless on the street if they want ............is this true or was she just trying to get me to come up ......sorry i asked u since i do not know u i figure would be the most honest

In ontario where I live yes toplessness for women is legal but 99 percent of people don't do it. Kind of a nice thing to imagine though isn't it? Lol Telecomuting is not an option but I've got to improve self care and decrease stress. That will help me function better. It's a stressful season, I have mood fluctuations due to winter and hormones. And stress. I'll survive.

I am going to talk to our union local president and VP and get some facts.

Thanks for the support guys!

thanks ma'am .............umm decreasing stress

have u ever tried a pocket watch
Amazon.com: Tirio Steampunk Pocket Watch Pendant Roman Number Half Hunter - Antiqued Silver Black with Gift Box: Heartybay: Watches

the ticking and the movement is great for stress reduction and forcing the mind to focus
think about how small the gears are ....how they need to be perfectly set to keep just right amount of tension on them ....how much math it takes to figure out how to keep time with just gears and springs

just need to make sure u get a skeleton one so u can see inside .........because the movement is so small and quick it takes your mind and eye to focus on it to see it clearly removing what ever was in your head causing u troubles

Justugh...... what I think you're referring to is Mindfulness. Finding a way to be in the moment. Tried and true technique for peace and coping.

really .........it is just something i figured out one day after i had a pocket watch open looking at the gears trying to figure it all out

but once i sawl the skeleton one i knew it would be something i could take with me to keep me from getting up and leaving a place after i got bored ....helps keep my mouth shut too(hold it and u feel the tick in hand)

thanks nice lady ..........u earned a cookie taught me 2 things (do something nice get a sweet treat as reward ) .....if i was around i get some for yah

Just heard back from my union. They support me. It's interesting that I am also getting a kind response from management. My dh thinks they know something is up with me but don't have a firm grasp as to what that is.

then u worried about nothing ........a happy surprise

i knew the union would back yah (aslong as your dues are paid up) .....but the boss being nice

that means they like u and the work u do .........sound like your job is safe

ohhh ppl that are worried

i totally forgot about this
Bipolar Disorder and the Americans with Disabilities Act | Psych Central

u are covered under AMA rules since 2008 ..........u are almost untouchable (meaning u would need to do something major to even possible to lose your job) .......missing work do to head issue out of your control but u are seeking help for ......they have no way to use that against u

Yeah, things have settled down a bit....the big bang Tuesday has taken a lot of stress off and then we had the holiday party yesterday, which let me blow off some steam. I was also vindicated this week, when I proposed something and someone else was all in my face about how I did not do anything and ZOMG delays etc. So we worked through it and figured it all out and then there were delays, and so now we are back to my original recommendation.

I have PMDD too....It's completely overwhelming, and very hard to manage because of the hormonal aspect. And it does not get better as you near menopause. I track my cycles so that I know where I am, and when sh!ts going pear-shaped. The one thing that I have found really helps the most is to exercise unto exhaustion during those bad weeks....seems counter, and it's hard because you're tired and don't feel good etc. But the months that I can step up my exercise (I swim) I fare much better....So like if I normally swim for 30 minutes, I step it up to 45 and then swim harder/faster. It's actually helpful that I am irritable and agitated etc, as it feeds the fire so to speak.

I also have asthma, and have an intermittent FMLA medical leave on record. it basically says that when I have an asthma attack that I cannot do nothin', how many episodes I might have, how long they might be etc. It's offered under FMLA and provides job protection. You should be able to get doc to sign off on it, and then your job is protected, you have privacy, and the company risks significant legal action if they don't abide by the terms.

Yes that broken record thing can be very neat....it's great for handling stuff where someone is being either stubborn, stupid or defensive. I use it to handle sexually inappropriate comments, sexual harassment, and any situation where I need to be solid.

With the sexual harassment thing, it goes like this: "I don't like when you make this comment, it makes me feel bad/insulting....." Other person does stuff like "I was kidding, that's your problem, I did not mean it, the other girls dont' mind..." Then you put on the broken record "That may be so, however I would like you to stop" Every objection, you say the same thing. You aren't arguing with them but eventually they will realize that they are just being arsed and give in.

So my accommodations are around managing stress, workload and distractions. I decided yesterday that I would just have doctor sign and go forward, it's not got to be perfect, and it can be adjusted as needed. It's still really scary, but as much as I feel like the world is on the verge of collapse, my company have been very good to me, even when I was full sail with anxiety, suspicion and paranoia.

Bigblackdog I hope signing with your doctor gives you some peace.

Over here I'm back at work after two sick days when I was very dizzy and weepy last week. I am sick of the bullshoot in the office with our new computer system.

Very sleepy today but present. I wish I was more alert and energetic. Spoke with manager yest. about signing a special form for my recent absences. He offered to let me use a special discretionary day for one day absence. How fortunate for me.

if u can nice lady

why not make up some cookies or something nice for the holiday season and u can give them away as a thank u for being cool ppl to your boss and the ppl helped yah

give u something to do at home during those days ...........and everyone in the world loves old fashion grandma food

Hahaha you're right about that Justugh!

A lose a lot of work time...fortunately I have an understanding boss. If not, I'd totally be canned.