[lil_better_everyday]

Soooo, I had a **** pdoc at the VA who never listened, and being the VA he was my only option, so over the last six or so months I've weened my myself off meds that, at best, I didn't think we're working. I got medicated this time round while I was in rehab because I had spent 2/3 of my waking hours drunk for the previous 5 years.

So it's been almost a decade since I've not been numbed by booze or pharmaceuticals and I feel like I'm feeling feelings for the first time. It's quite a profound experience. No extreme highs or lows (yet), simply, if I watch or read something sad it makes me sad, and vice versa happy things make me happy.

Don't get me wrong, as soon as I have a job to where I can afford mental health care outside the VA, I plan on talking to a legit pdoc about finding meds that work for me. But at this current moment in time feeling like a "normal" person experiencing genuine feelings without gobbling handfuls of pills is pretty great.

[jesusplay]

God, this one doc at the va they keep sticking with doesn't listen at all, I repeat the same **** to him and he say the same **** and keeps telling me to read the same god damn book.

[Justugh]

sir u can apply for medicaid it is open enrollment now

they give u that then they change u over to a MMO just like regular ppl and give u a card ......after u can only go to places that allow that MMO

i had a doctor like that and i might have another doctor like that ........i asked him for something because i knew i would need it so he gives me something weak to try (****ing thing just makes me yawn i yawn already i need the mind to shut up )....3 days later i was in the hospital and they gave me what i asked for i just had the best night sleep in months

rem man u have the right to tell the doctor sir u are not listening to me u are putting words in my mouth causing me more stress ......there by u drugging me up more sinnce u are pushing my buttons listen to what i am saying i am saying it the way it is ........do not listen to what u think i am saying because that is what your head is saying not mine and maybe u need to see a doctor for yourself

i have walked out of the office gone to the front desk and demanded to speak to the medical director of the clinic i have a complaint to file and request for a new doctor

and if u really want to get the guy to listen .........record the section a few times and take that to him play back point out where he did what and why it is pissing u off ........does not work then u show the director

Glad you're feeling well and enjoying benign emotions again! It's great to feel contentment! We deserve it!

[lil_better_everyday]

Thanks all. I might have to look into medicaid. It does feel good to feel 'normal'.