[gayleggg]

I'm not good at spotting a hypomanic state.
I'm feeling bored, irritable and jittery.
I'm buying too much stuff online and in the stores. Not huge amounts but more than I should considering my financial state.
I think that comes from trying to lift my mood with shopping.

Could I be getting into a hypomanic state and if so what do I do? It's scary because my mood has been so good since I left the hospital in September that it scares me I could be backsliding.

Any incite would be appreciated.

[Little Lulu]

It sounds like progress that you are spotting potential early signs of trouble. Would it be helpful for you to journal about what is going on in your life right now that might be a trigger? You might find some clues as to why you are feeling a little off. What about a counseling appointment to review things? Knowledge is power.

[gayleggg]

My next therapy session isn't until Jan 6th.

I have been journaling think it might be situational. It started before my last counseling session but has gotten worse.

There a couple of issues that pertain to my husband that could be causing some unrest. And I hope that it is the only thing going on, because it will be easier to deal with than a mood swing for no reason. I guess I worry to much about mood shifts since this is the first time I've felt good in years. I'm worried it won't last.

I think this Peanuts wisdom is me.

I'm probably my own worst enemy.

[cjb221177]

I am terrible at spotting hypomanic episodes too. I went through an extended period where I'd be sleeping 2-3 hrs a day them working for 14 hrs without feeling exhausted ... Sadly when you're in the hyomanic moment, you don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. Mental illness is a cruel master right?!
I think journaling can help a lot and also it sounds so cliche but sticking to a high level routine will also allow you to see when you start to deviate. For example, maybe you could try giving yourself a weekly budget for online purchases and track them through your journaling. Amazon.com is my friend and my demon so I can sympathize.
Also, don't see the fact you're having a potential hypomanic episode as backsliding. It's part of the illness it's not a sign of weakness. How you deal with it is the key.

[Little Lulu]

Glad you have a plan in place Gayleggg. When I journal, it helps me to share what I have written with someone I trust and get their feedback. Anyone in your life to do this with, esp. since your appt isn't until January?

One other thought ... the days are getting shorter, darker, and colder and the holidays are approaching. Those are two biggies for lots of people.

[gayleggg]

Thanks, cjb221177. Yes, I agree routine is important and I do stay pretty close one. That's a great idea about the allowance and keeping track in the journal. Thanks a lot.

Little Lulu, I really don't have anyone I can talk to but my therapist. The holidays really do bother me. I thought I was doing better this year but maybe not, especially since i found out my daughter is going to be gone on Christmas. I've spent the last 38 years with her on Christmas, so it's going to seem empty without her. Thanks a lot for your input.

[cjb221177]

I think there may be a lot of us on the forum on Christmas day Gayle so don't forget to check in if you're feeling low or just in need of some company. I know I'll be here. X

[Little Lulu]

Your daughter being away on Christmas certainly could be some if not most of the issue. Every change in our family dynamics (moves, deaths, etc.) over the years has affected the holidays for me. Now I work to make the holiday as good as I can and plan something nice for myself afterward that I can look forward. I just don't enjoy the holidays like I used to and I am OK with that now. My husband was delirious with joy when I agreed to not putting up a tree this year.

I try to keep in mind that there are many other things in life I really do enjoy ... just not Christmas.