[DelusionsDaily]

So the last few weeks I've been dealing with depressive symptoms...ie: no energy, no interest in anything, and no appetite. However, mind just whacked out. I've been having these "tempting fate" type of thoughts. Thing is I don't want to die. So it's not a suicidal thing...thank goodness and with no energy it won't happen anyway.

I see my NP Monday. I don't even want to go. I've been missing x-pdoc... Ugh! I won't even go there. It's no use...not gonna change anything. Anyway, just struggling.

Thanks all for being so wonderful.

~~delusionsdaily~~

My med regime:
AM:
300mg Seroquel
PM:
1,000mg Depakote ER
150mg Seroquel

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

So the last few weeks I've been dealing with depressive symptoms...ie: no energy, no interest in anything, and no appetite. However, mind just whacked out. I've been having these "tempting fate" type of thoughts. Thing is I don't want to die. So it's not a suicidal thing...thank goodness and with no energy it won't happen anyway.

I see my NP Monday. I don't even want to go. I've been missing x-pdoc... Ugh! I won't even go there. It's no use...not gonna change anything. Anyway, just struggling.

Thanks all for being so wonderful.

~~delusionsdaily~~

My med regime:
AM:
300mg Seroquel
PM:
1,000mg Depakote ER
150mg Seroquel

Hmm... what else did you expect? And the pdoc/NP, if I may ask?

You take a downer in the morning and two downers at night, and nothing else. And your doses are medium-to-high. Most people, regardless of their genetic makeup etc., would have no energy on this regiment.

In technology/software development, we would say: "This is not a bug, this is a feature", or, alternatively, "This is expected behavior".

In common parlance, one could say that it would take a miracle to be upbeat, energetic, and enthusiastic on this combo.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm so sorry this is a difficult time for you delusionsdaily,

I hope that you are going to gain some comfort in seeing your new mental health practitioner.

Let us know how you go.

[Wander]

Depression is a cruel beast. I feel for you. Hang in there and talk these things through with your new NP. I really hope they are helpful.

[sidney1771]

I know those feelings. I want to be reckless and do things, but the gestures aren't suicidal. I know I should go to the doc or call my T, but I really don't want to. Just kind of a "I know better but I don't want to. I know I know how to take care of things and be good, but I don't care, but I do care."

I find that if I go with the voice of reason and do what I know I should do...call the T or see the doc or abstain from questionable behavior, it is the better route and tomorrow I'm happier for it. It just sucks today because I want to be bad and live on the edge of insanity. You can always do a mildly naughty behavior like eat raw cookie dough.

[DelusionsDaily]

Ugh! I don't wanna go see NP this afternoon. Even this mild depression has me practically immobilized and numb. My sleep schedule is all outta whack. My eating is virtually non-existent unless convenient which normally means junk. Interest in anything besides laying in my bed is nada. While nothing I would act on...Infrequent thoughts of hurting myself somehow flitter through my mind on occasion. I know I should go and tell NP all this but I don't wanna. Although I probably will in the end.

Thanks all for being so wonderful.

~~delusionsdaily~~

My med regime:
AM:
300mg Seroquel
PM:
1,000mg Depakote ER
150mg Seroquel

[avlady]

Depression sucks!,,,,,

[Bipolartist]

I never know which is worse, depression or mania. They both feel like the worst to me. Hypomania seems to be the only time I'm happy and clear headed, then too clear headed and I think I can conquer the world, then the world turns on me.

I hope you pull out of this depression soon. Keep us updated.

[wing]

Originally Posted by Bipolartist

I never know which is worse, depression or mania. They both feel like the worst to me. Hypomania seems to be the only time I'm happy and clear headed, then too clear headed and I think I can conquer the world, then the world turns on me.

I hope you pull out of this depression soon. Keep us updated.

So true, Bipolarartist. Says it all for me.

[DelusionsDaily]

Saw NP adding Wellbutrin XL 150 in the AM.see how it goes. I'm cautiously optimistic about the outcome.

Thanks all for being so wonderful.

~~delusionsdaily~~

My med regime:
AM:
300mg Seroquel
PM:
1,000mg Depakote ER
150mg Seroquel

[Blue_Bird]

Good luck, hope your mood improves!

[DelusionsDaily]

Tomorrow will be my first dose of the Wellbutrin. So, almost certainly won't be working in time for Christmas and New Years but hopefully soon after it will be. NP said it won't throw me into a manic state. So, I'm hoping for the best.

Thanks all for being so wonderful.

~~delusionsdaily~~

My med regime:
AM:
300mg Seroquel
PM:
1,000mg Depakote ER
150mg Seroquel