[Imah]

I have been hearing about how forgiveness must be achieved for people to get over past perceived wrongs. For the past 20 years I have harbored great anger, even furiosity at some things. I have attempted to pick up the burden of forgiveness, but it always eluded me.
This week I learned that forgiveness is light as a feather. When the time is right, forgiveness just happens. Poof - the anger is gone, the furious hatred, just dissipates and memories that once consumed my thoughts now just flit away seeming pointless.
Some people might be different, achieve forgiveness differently. Don't judge my way, it was mine. But to anyone else who thinks forgiveness might be an unachievable thing with an illusive beginning. Don't worry, perhaps like me, forgiveness and the ability to drop something and move on just has its own time.
I am amazed, forgiveness wasn't something I learned. But the anger, and the memory of the trial just - is - gone.
Cheers to life!

[Sarah Quill]

I am happy you found forgiveness! I try, but the thoughts of anger and betrayal just bubble up at the thought of these people. Last Christmas I tried, this Christmas I tried.... I just can't. Glad you could! Perhaps one day. Thanks for sharing your story!

[wiretwister]

Glad you have found peace...a Christmas miracle..

[BipolaRNurse]

This is some good food for thought.

With me, it's relatively easy to forgive others who have hurt me. The one person I have trouble forgiving is ME. I'm very hard on myself, beating myself up for such things as being unable to work and having this disease which has changed my entire family's lives in some way.

But when I was inpatient a couple of months ago, my psychologist asked me to write a letter of forgiveness to myself for what (I thought) I'd done wrong in my life. Well, this filled up a couple of college-ruled pages (on both sides) and took up most of an evening. Still, when I finished it I felt more at peace than I had in years.

Now I take it out of the drawer and re-read it whenever I get to feeling down on myself again. I also add to it as necessary. I posted some of it in my blog after I got out of the hospital and all four of my kids said "Mom, stop being so hard on yourself, you did the best you could and we know you loved us. We all turned out OK because of you." That made my guilt over being inconsistent with them when they were growing up go away.

It's a heck of a lot easier and less draining than holding onto anger and resentment.

[Phinn]

When all your anger, hatred and all consuming rage is directed inward how do you let go? And what If you should hate yourself?

[Imah]

Originally Posted by Phinn

When all your anger, hatred and all consuming rage is directed inward how do you let go? And what If you should hate yourself?

Phinn,

I can promise that with age comes mellowness and it is easier to like and accept ourselves. I would recommend that you don't wait though - practice beginning to see the positive things in yourself, so the years of fighting a hopeless battle is avoided. We cannot divorce ourselves. Learn to love by seeing each thing we do within each hour that is a good thing.

Read and use the forum on here that is called, "positive things I have done today" and begin seeing the good in the small thing. Learning to count on yourself and be someone who is your own best friend is the best step I know of to self acceptance.

Best of luck to us all.

[Fuzzybear]