Pulling Back

When I was hospitalized the last time my counselor in group therapy asked us one day what we intended to do the de-stigmatize bipolar disorder. He recommended coming out at work, with your friends and family - with everyone - and on facebook.

I gave it a shot. I penned a blog. Talked openly about it on Facebook. Told my employer and took advantage of my short term disability benefits when I needed to be hospitalized. Tried endlessly to explain it to my family and friends.

I'm done with all that. Coming out destroyed my career and made bipolar disorder the go to attack when people felt the need to lash out at me. I'm tired of being labeled a freak - of having people assume that they know what I'm doing to do when even I have no idea - of people assuming I'm threatening just because I'm crazy (I'm not - I direct violence inward only). I'm sick of them knowing that I'm ill in a manic state but getting no quarter from them about what I do and say - all of which I agree I am responsible for - but it's the illness - not a character flaw - or maybe they are right and it is - I'm a bad person and I hurt people. Who knows.

I'm closing down my blog. Withdrawing. I'll seek help from people going through it but I'm absolutely done trying to make this known. It's just not worth it.

I'm sorry that disclosing about your bipolar worked so negatively against you. Unfortunately, some people will never understand.

I'm am glad you found PC and are sharing here. It is a very supportive and helpful place, with a lot of nice and caring people.

I seldom tell anyone for the same reasons.Labelled, all behavior being "crazy" and being fired "for other reasons", conveniently after I had an episode and took time off. All of a sudden my performance reviews started slipping, and my co-workers went to my boss and told her they didn't want to work with me anymore. I know this because a couple of them got together and told me to my face. Nobody understands BP fully unless they have it.

I think your therapist gave you bad advice. It is not up to us personally to try to de-stigmatize across the board. Stigma isn't going away in my lifetime, no matter how many of us come out of the closet. Look at the celebrities who made the news. How many of them come out and speak about it? It's big news, but seldom gets a platform unless the celebrity has big bucks and can afford to talk about it (like Kay Jamison and Glenn Close's sister). That's the only two that I can think of that have talked about it publicly.

Mainstream society is being more accepting of all kinds of those who are different. But I got burned, so I support my local MH agencies from a distance.

There are a lot of people who claim success by telling everyone at work, home and school.
No way. My family knows because they sectioned me. I've only told one good friend and I'm keeping it that way for now.

This thing called 'life' is a personal journey and we each experience it differently. However, I also chose to be open about my condition(s) and whilst I know I am doing a great service to society it has also ruined my career and been the result of denied opportunities.
It's a bit too late to take it back so I stand by my decision to be visible in the hope that one day we will be able to beat down the stigma. In the meantime, all donations will be gratefully received!!!!