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Old Jan 11, 2015, 01:45 PM
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Curiosity77 Curiosity77 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2014
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I haven't posted in a long time. I just went through a severe depression that lasted for 3 weeks in December. I had to take time off work, and I couldn't eat or sleep. I lost about 10 lbs from not eating, and it's really twisted because I am getting compliments when the weight loss was because i was really sick. Even my therapist, he was away all Dec, so i didn't see him until a few days ago, and ge said "i've never seen you looking better." Seriously? Now i'm eating again, and will probably put the weight back on, and then i'll feel like a failure and people will make judgements. It's so wrong.

But i do feel mostly better. I've been having mostly good days for over a week. I'm crying a little now, but i will probably feel better later today. But i am having trouble getting out of bed, so typing this on my phone. I really hate this. I can be ok, and then things fall apart. Over and over and over. I never thought i would live this long (just turned 38), and i didn't really plan for it in my mind. I have a great job, but the contract ends spring 2016, and i don't know what happens after that. Plus my cat that i had for 16 years recently died, and i miss her so much. I got another cat, and he's great, but i can't believe i'll never see her again. Everything seems so hard right now.
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"Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me."
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  #2  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 02:01 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Happy to see you back. I'm sorry you had to go through that. The same thing happened to me - I couldn't eat bc I was so depressed and I lost like fifteen pounds and everyone is telling me how good I look. Thanks but it wasn't on purpose! I've already gained back five pounds.

I'm glad you're feeling slightly better. That's a good indication that things are on the upswing. I know how frustrating it is to keep falling down, I've been through hell in the past two years. Thankfully I've gotten about a month of stability under my belt so even though I know something will knock me down eventually, I can at least hope that I will have more calm time this time around. I wish the same for you.

I just lost my fifteen year old cat too btw. It's been difficult so I know how you feel.

Once again, glad to see you back. Things will get better. Just as they always get worse, they always get better!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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Thanks for this!
Curiosity77
  #3  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 03:14 PM
Anonymous45023
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I'm so sorry about your cat and the things that are going on for you. Glad to hear that you're starting to feel a bit better though.

Sorry for the brevity --There is some really relatable stuff that you wrote and I'd like to share more on that, but my mind is being very scattered and looping --

but wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts.
Thanks for this!
Curiosity77
  #4  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 04:14 PM
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Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,926
I'm so sorry you've felt so bad. I'm glad you're slowly getting better. you may want to do somthing in honor of your cat. I know that helps me grieve.
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Curiosity77
  #5  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 04:45 PM
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Moogieotter Moogieotter is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,449
Welcome Back! Hang in there!

moogs
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Current Status: Stable/High Functioning/Clean and Sober

Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD

Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL

Previous meds I can share experiences from:
AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel
SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft
Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin
Other - Buspar, Xanax

Add me as a friend and we can chat
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Curiosity77
  #6  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 05:18 PM
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pepper2009 pepper2009 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 58
I'm glad you are clawing your way back from depression. It's hard and tiring. I wish you the best!
Thanks for this!
Curiosity77
  #7  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 05:45 PM
aged2324 aged2324 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: florida
Posts: 78
Just remember to take things one moment at a time...nothing is forever and change is constant but I trust my God and close friends to help me when I go bonkers. ..keep up the good work by talking on this site it helps...your not alone
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Curiosity77
  #8  
Old Jan 11, 2015, 08:14 PM
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Turtlesoup Turtlesoup is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 862
Welcome back-glad you are recovering-I've had similar bouts & once lost 20lbs in about 10 days-not good. I'm very sorry for the loss of your kitty friend-we get so close with these little guys & it's so hard to lose them. Keep posting & let us know how you are doing & give yourself tons of credit for battling back from such a severe bout
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"This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen."-Inara from Firefly

Bipolar Disorder
Depression
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
OCD
PTSD
Insomnia
Chronic Pain

Prozac 30mg daily
Buspar 10mg three times daily
Propranolol 10mg three times daily
Currently titrating up Lamictal daily
Ambien 5mg prn
Trazodone 50mg prn
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Curiosity77
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