Broke down and called pdoc

This depression is getting scary. Bad, concrete plans were starting to form in my head. Tried telling my husband and he called me selfish. Anywho- I can't go on like this. This is just chipping away at me and I am wearing down. I bought extra dog food and dog meds the other day bc if something happened I knew no one would know to give her heartworm meds. I don't feel in danger anymore. I am not worried about my safety. I am ok right now in that area, but this is just unrelenting. I tried to get in to pdoc before my appt on Monday but she is full. I then called back to see if she can do a med change over the phone. I was planning to quit meds and now I am asking for more.

None of this is much fun at all.

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There are a few positives so I don't feel all the way hopeless right now. I did laundry and made myself a nice lunch. I am also having my husband go with me Monday to my pdoc so she can help him understand.

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That sounds really rough and I'm sorry that your husband can't completely understand.

Please have faith in yourself and believe that you will be able to get through this. Preparing for an extended absence or worse cannot lead to good things as it will only put you in a mindset of finality. Find support here, in real life, with a therapist other than your pdoc, hopefully with your husband eventually.

My pdoc called and got me in for tomorrow morning! I see a therapist every two weeks. I could have support from family but I shut everyone out when depressed and refuse to talk or answer the phone

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