That includes taking meds, posting on here, any thoughts of recovery, thinking about mental illness, going to hospitals, seeing doctors, office visits, the whole 9 yards.

I want obliviousness. To not even concern myself about this mind screw. It's tiring, worrying, and expecting.

Ignorance is bliss.

Sad thing is, I can't go back, not now or never. Now I know too much.

At least a vacation would be nice.

[Pikku Myy]

Don't give up sweetie I struggle with similar feeling every single day. Please know you are not alone.

[snseattle]

I totally hear your desire. It is a grind. Yet, the words of David Byrne come to my mind when I think about how much it sucks. "This ain't no party. This ain't no disco. This ain't no fooling around." We face some real *****. We have to give it up to ourselves a bit for making it through as much as we do.

Personally, I hate taking meds morning, noon, and night. Going to the doctors. Dealing with stigma. Etc. But I have hauled myself through this for 30 years. You are right, though, when you suggest that we "can't go back." We are who we are.

I hope you are able to find some peace knowing you are not alone. Be gentle with yourself.

I know that feeling but there is a light at the end. It takes some of us longer to find it. ((hugs)) hang in there hon!

[jacky8807]

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry. I know you're going through a lot but storms always end bringing rainbows and graditued of ending.

[Gray Rider]

Im tired of the docs, pills, the clean life.

I miss having drinks at the bar & grill laughing, smoking joints at sunrise, the exciting sounds and colors at the casino, the smiles of the pretty ladies at the clubs.

[HighOnHotSauce]

Hang in there, hang in there.

[~Christina]

Just float for a while , Don't fight or struggle, Just float , give yourself a break.

[AdamLee]

I am totally in realm of thinking... (I read your post and this describes the past few weeks for me)

Though, then my thoughts go: reality check, you know... You're on a psychology site. It's this the best place to go to get away from psychology. lol

[Wander]

I totally relate too and was practically telling my pdoc about this this arvo. He was encouraging me that the mixed state will pass I i will be fairly 'normal' again. I challenged him by saying that as I rapid cycle I KNOW that I wil be in this hell again. He kindly didn't dismiss me and agreed but said I would get better at managing my illness and find more peace. He also apologised about not being able to help me more. His honesty. Really encouraged me. It reminded me that I am not alone for the ride. Maybe give yourself a rest like Christina said. Please don't completely give up as you are worth fighting for

[AdamLee]

Originally Posted by Wander

I totally relate too and was practically telling my pdoc about this this arvo. ... Please don't completely give up as you are worth fighting for

I don't think the OP was saying she/he (shim) wishes to give on shimself (s/himself).

Shim had simply said

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

That includes taking meds, posting on here, any thoughts of recovery, thinking about mental illness, going to hospitals, seeing doctors, office visits, the whole 9 yards.

I want obliviousness. To not even concern myself about this mind screw. It's tiring, worrying, and expecting.

Ignorance is bliss.

...

Seem to me that the information the OP is receiving about mental illness is making her anxious. I totally understand the bombardment of all of this. You get a variety of individuals believing they KNOW what's wrong with you and how to fix you.

Shim just wants a break from it all.

Just my take on the matter.

Originally Posted by Spark1223

I am totally in realm of thinking... (I read your post and this describes the past few weeks for me)

Though, then my thoughts go: reality check, you know... You're on a psychology site. It's this the best place to go to get away from psychology. lol

Lol. I was in another mood in another way.

[pjcjr77]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

That includes taking meds, posting on here, any thoughts of recovery, thinking about mental illness, going to hospitals, seeing doctors, office visits, the whole 9 yards.

I want obliviousness. To not even concern myself about this mind screw. It's tiring, worrying, and expecting.

Ignorance is bliss.

Sad thing is, I can't go back, not now or never. Now I know too much.

At least a vacation would be nice.

I like a good vacation.....I never really take any though. I need to work on that.

[Love&Toil]

Fighting the fight can be exhausting. I like Christina's idea of just coasting for awhile. Having just spent a week on vacation I say do it!!!!

Originally Posted by Spark1223

I don't think the OP was saying she/he (shim) wishes to give on shimself (s/himself).

Shim had simply said


Seem to me that the information the OP is receiving about mental illness is making her anxious. I totally understand the bombardment of all of this. You get a variety of individuals believing they KNOW what's wrong with you and how to fix you.

Shim just wants a break from it all.

Just my take on the matter.

Shim....how cute! Lol. Not always.

[AdamLee]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Shim....how cute! Lol. Not always.

You weren't specific in your profile. Just did not want to come across as presumptuous.

Just something I came up with because I was too lazy to type out she/him constantly.

Yep. I feel your pain. I even told my gp yesterday I wished I would die.