[thetruth2323]

hello all,

I wanted to share my experience with how my 'bipolar' was ultimately diagnosed and what led up to that point.

So, I'm 19 years old and I have mild anxiety....No big deal it can be pretty common especially among those starting college and being away from family/new environment etc...I go to the doctor for it and she STRONGLY recommends I be put on an Zofolt, which is primarily treated for depression and anxiety disorders. Even though I hesitated when this was prescribed, I ultimately end up swallowing those pills on a regular basis for the next couple months.

Strangely enough, I started having a hypo-manic episode a couple months after I initially took the med. **Keep in mind this is the FIRST med I've ever taking that was mental health related. Now, the next 4 months was a very self-destructive time period for me. I played college ball, quit the team because the guys and coaches were disrespecting me (Couldn't see things clearly), I cheated on my beautiful girlfriend of 2 years (multiple times) and gambled away over $1000 in money I didn't have. Not to mention isolating myself from all of my friends, receiving my lowest GPA in my college career (4 years) and this episode finally concluded after a vigorous 5 months.

Since then, I've been put on a cocktail of anti-depressants, anti-phsycotics, anti-convulsants and this and that. Some of these medications made things spiral out of control. My thoughts and behaviors would become very abnormal; I contemplated suicide, got kicked off a College summer league team in PA and these meds literally gutted my mental state.

I am now 22 years old and the medications have been reduced to the lowest they have ever been. I have ALWAYS been skeptical of the effectiveness and long term safety of these drugs. I never submitted to the claims of "this pre-existed in you all along" or "Its hereditary" or "You need life long medication." After years of reading every article on the planet related to mental illness and how medication is administered, I have concluded that these pharmaceutical companies are downright evil.

Their goal is simple (for these companies) -- You find somebody with a weakness (Mild anxiety, depression) and give them a antipsychotic, mode stabilizer or anti depressant and boom!! The drug they've given you may help initially but often times you develop side effects, you get suicidal or your behavior changes dramatically. To combat these things, you are often put on more medication until you find the 'right cocktail'. Haven't you heard that forever? "It takes a while to find the right meds." TRANSLATION: It takes a while for these meds to really **** your brain up, so take them long enough for us to treat you with other medications due to the side effects of the initial med.

For those folks that may be a little shell shocked or naive that this world ISN'T full of people (companies --$$) with great morals. You may think that this is too far-fetched, perhaps even impossible. Trust me folks, the further you dig, the further you will see that it is merely a hoax. Think bipolar at the core: A disorder that has ups and downs and needs to be CONSISTENTLY moderated and controlled through the use of medication throughout your ENTIRE LIFE. NEVER have I gone to the psychiatrists office and they suggested meditation, regular exercise, a healthy diet or other things that could contribute to a healthy mind.

With that being said, I do not endorse nor advocate those currently on medication to abruptly stop as that can SERIOUSLY lead to complications that are extremely unpleasant, potentially could lead to a manic episode. All i ask is some feedback...How were you diagnosed? Was it AFTER any other mental related medications? Was it BEFORE any meds? All i am telling you people is that you should dig deep, do your own research, connect the dots and make YOUR OWN decision on these drugs. All to often in this day and age we succumb to "doctors" in this field because they KNOW EVERYTHING. That's hilarious to me, I'm the one taking the meds....and I usually have little to no input on which meds I would like to try.

Anyhow, I am currently (and safely) tapering off tegretol and ultimately will be med free (other than modafinil ).

Good luck.

[sideblinded]

thetruth2323, I am glad that you are not telling others that all medicine for mental illness is not necessary as at first I thought you were. I really understand this subject as I was misdiagnosed by a psychiatrist with bipolar and sadly I held that diagnosis for 18 long years. I was put on antipsychotics which I didn't need. Also I get antidepressant induced hypomania. It is called a "switching" effect. This is how I got wrongly diagnosed with bipolar. I do not believe that a person has bipolar if a chemical causes the symptom. So I understand a lot of your views. I also agree that big pharma is corrupted. I do believe that alot of people need their medication and that includes me. But anyway, I would like to welcome you to the PC community.

It takes a little while for your first 5 posts to appear as they are being moderated. If you have any questions about how to navigate this site feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator. Best wishes here at PC.

[Hexagram]

I hear you. We were not blessed to live in the golden age of psychopharmacology. Modern psychiatric treatment, from SSRIs to ECT, is comparable in my mind to primitive neurosurgery by inexperienced residents in low light with dull tools. Our brains' complex functions and malfunctions are still really not that well understood, nor are the drugs which profitable and powerful pharmaceutical companies compel doctors to prescribe to desperate patients. Your particular experience could lead you to suspect a conspiracy. Your illness, if you are indeed ill, could fuel those suspicions. From what I remember from my brief and long-ago trial on Tegretol, it was a tough row to hoe, and I hope that you can do better off meds. In the meantime, many of us remain ill, and we are desparate, as are those we love and depend on and those who love and depend on us, for any remedy, and our doctors and their drugs are all that are available to us (short of ECT, which I haven't tried yet due to a heightened risk of stroke). Don't be surprised that despite your conviction that your problems can be solved or avoided by meditation, diet, exercise or other constructive lifestyle choices, you may eventually be driven by the same desperation back to the same dubious conventional remedies. In contradiction to my own experience and what I have learned from others, I do hope that you regain your balance on your own terms. Don't be too disappointed or blame yourself if you end up back in line at the pharmacy with the rest of us. Best of luck.

[Ruftin]

I have taken the journey you are now on....full of questions and doubts for which even now I have no concrete answer.

Its the which came first, the chicken or the egg question.......Did our illness proceed the medication or did the medication cause our illness. Were we told there was something wrong with us and thus believed or were we really ill???

I doubt we will ever know. All I can say is I questioned my diagnosis...came off my meds and tried to kill myself twice as a result. Mental illness or side effect of coming off my medication? I'll never know..... Please be careful as you search for answers. Be safe and be well....

[jacky8807]

I totally agree. If a med caused bipolar symptoms it is a side effect of the med. If you tried to harm yourself coming off meds and haddnt even considered that before it is a side effect or withdrawal from the meds. It is a fact that bipolar is overdiagnosed and ppl with ligjt symptoms are over medicated and then ths medicine becomes the problem
That being said for those who have a condition that needs meds i am all for it. But for myself i refuse to be put on 20 meds And at crazy doses
I have seen pppl worse on meds or unfunctional in life because of meds
Thats not "getting better" to me

[letsgogh]

My diagnosis preceded any medication. I was in a depression so deep I tried to drink myself to death and when I failed I was distraught then never told anyone about it. I came out of that to a mild depression then swung super high spending money I didn't have on stupid things, had the most creative time of my life, was obsessed with the possible science of time travel and never sleeping which led to agitation, thoughts too fast to keep track of and thoughts of suicide again. I decided I needed help this year when I was seriously considering and planning on jumping into oncoming traffic. I'd never been on meds before or even been to a psychiatrist or therapist. I'm currently switching from Zyprexa to Geodon because I was gaining weight and tired on Zyprexa. Geodon so far is having my mind running like a well oiled machine it's pretty amazing. I've never felt so normal. Now I hope it doesn't cause weight gain.
But I have a good pdoc who won't put me on high doses, and listens when I say I don't like something. I dread needing to find a new one when I graduate because not all pdocs are so great... Furthermore there are several people in my family with mental illnesses who refuse and have never taken medication but destroy everything around them wih their paranoia and mood swings, and I refuse to do the same.

[jacky8807]

Your story is similar to mine. I was never on medicine when i finally got dx. My pdoc is same as yours and listens to me and works with me which is best case scenario

[Resident Bipolar]

A lot of antidepressants can trigger mania, and this is a well-documented occurance that's often listed as a potential side effect in the medication information leaflet.