Still not sure I have bipolar

I ended up in hospital with MDD, Psychosis and cognitive deficits from drugs.
When I was discharged my pdoc who I had just started seeing jumped to the diagnosis of schizophrenia, I was on the maximum dose of zoloft and 3mg of risperidone which I came off in a year.

After being off the meds I became a bit manic and my psychiatrist then became confused and since then has left me the choice of choosing a label, either schizophrenia or bipolar.

That was a little over a year ago, I have untangled my false memory I developed when psychotic and no long suffer from it.

I am currently weening off risperidone again, I am certainly not psychotic.
I am going to be keeping a mood and thought diary and get a second opinion and also have my thyroid checked but I am wondering if anyone else has similar symptoms:

My mood will drop very low for a few hours then go back to near normal, I can usually snap myself out of this with coffee but have decided to quit and aim for recovery. It is not typical depression where I feel emotional, its more of a flat feeling like MDD.

When I am under stress I can become high functioning for a while whether it be 2 days or 2 weeks although I believe this is my normal temperament.

I was put on Risperidone over seroquel for agitation which I have always had.

No-one in my family believe I have BP or Schizophrenia, we know someone with BP1 and he doesnt agree either.

I definitely have some mood disorder due to drugs and I just want to know if symptoms of Bipolar can be so varying from person to person?

I sometimes wonder if its the anti-psychotics upsetting my mood and thats why I have these mood swings.

That sounds sketchy. The highly-trained, licensed professional trusted to diagnose and treat your illness has 'become confused' and has left you, the patient, to choose between two significantly different diagnoses. Any chance of soliciting a second professional opinion?

Get another pdoc.

psychosis from what drugs? did psychosis show up before or after elevated mood or manic symptoms? were you paranoid or delusional?

There's also scizoaffective disorder.

The previous drug use could be the cause of your mood disorder. He could be just asking you what diagnosis you prefer so that he can write authority scripts and help with medical certificates/disability etc. I get where your doc is coming from, this is drug induced illness so it is hard to put a label on.

If you were in the US they would label you bipolar and kick you out the door with a boatload of drugs which can affect your mood greatly and cause more problems. So be thankful for that.

Go for the second opinion but remember it does take more than one session to be diagnosed correctly. Are you in therapy too? We can get up to 12 medicare covered psychology sessions a year. It could really help you out.

He is meant to be very good, he is extremely intelligent and I think he is just following protocol for a BPD patient, and also sticking strongly to focusing on patient compliance and reducing suicide risk, however me being vegged out on risperidone is hardly going to help me in the long run.
He says he does not know which one yet.

What has made me lose faith in him is he told me last session "you have a psychosis" I DONT HAVE ONE. I dont believe anyone is out to get me I dont see or hear things etc.


Yep I have been told this enough to go do it but I dont think any doctor wants a BPD patient. I do have someone in mind though who I will get a second opinion from.

An anabolic steroid, the psychosis showed up after MDD, it came on from me reading past chat logs and developping a false recollection of past events in my life. I couldnt concerntrate was stuck in bed thinking I was dying, calling ambulances and such and they would not admit me until my sister bought me to hospital and said I said I was dying and some other stupid crap. So I got schedualed for suicidality after 2 months of full blown MDD.

Which shows up in childhood I think?
I really dont think I am schizoaffective, I was highly social and outgoing all my life through to my 20s.

I had 20 sessions with an associate professor of psychology it was at around the 18th session I became psychotic. He ended up needing some group therapy because of me and a better understanding of BPD.
All those sessions were spent with me learning about psychology and him reassuring all I had the matter with me was anxiety.

The label is BPD but he does not want to give it for some reason, he even said there was no medicare code for it however there is 30183.
I gave him a DSP form and he sent it straight to the department rather than handing it back to me so he is hiding something.

I have private insurance. If I was in the US I would be in DBT.

I could get a second opinion but I honestly think it would be a waste of time. Some doctor in the US has gone and publically said all the labels are just made up constructs and seeing as though they keep changing the DSM and people with the same disorder have completely different symptoms I believe it.
Even looking through the medicare codes there is a lot of vague labels and many codes that are mere symptoms. The DSM gets changed so often and there are so many different schools of thought I am starting to just give up and just dealing with my problems myself. My pdoc wont even prescribe me temazapam because its addictive but is happy to hand me scripts for anti psychotics and mood stabalizers.

IMHO I think we are still in the dark ages with brain and mental health, until we can do genetic testing and have better meds.
Apart from a minority of cases such as classical cut and dry Axis 1 disorder cases I just see it as trading one group of symptoms for another just to have the person functioning well in society despite harm to the patient.

And dont think we are somehow better off in Australia than the US. I have been all through the system except for a neuropsychologist and I have never been offered "Social rythem therapy" or "DBT" or anything. As soon as doctors here find out I am on the Cluster B spectrum they back right off but still want frequent therapy such as every 2-3 weeks.

I know someone with classical BP1 and he was never prescribed fish oil, he does not even know about social rythem therapy or meditation.

I have made an apointment with another psychiatrist which was recommended to me by someone I can trust.
So I will be having 2 psychiatrists for a while I guess. I am going to let the new one draw his own conclusion.

I think we are FAR better off in Australia, especially if you have insurance. You have access to psychiatrists, psychologists, occupational therapists, physiotherapist, endocrinologist, GPs, Dietitians, neurologist, brain scans, heart scans/ecgs, blood tests etc at low cost. But you are right Borderline diagnosis scares many pdocs off. I would guess he doesnt want to label you so he can give you certain meds.

DBT is available here. There are quite a few places in my city that do it and I know for sure they do it in Sydney too so I'd assume the other cities would run it too. Actually I know they do it in Melbourne too as my friend is doing it there. I've done it and have been offered a huge range of treatment options. The medical doctors will not recommend unconventional or alternative treatments so those need to be sought out on your own.

I use many alternative treatments which are approved by pdocs who are proud of me for looking for myself how to cope and not completely relying on the medical system. I've even looked for support services in my area and went to weekly GROW group.

You need to seek out the treatments and not leave it all up to your pdoc and say they arnt doing anything, the pdoc is only ONE person in your team to help you get through it, you may need a bigger team for more support.

Have you ever tried anything to help yourself? Mindfulness, meditation (and dont bull, meditation works if you keep practicing and do it right), tapping, exercise, time with animals or outside etc etc. I would go on but I have to go to group now.

Yep I have done heaps since being an inpatient.
I got a dog. I have been meditating daily which does help especially cognitively.
I think due to being cluster B, psychology does not work on me because I dont have enough feelings, I also have false recollections of past events.

I have been exercising for the past 2 weeks although the past 3 days I have been depressed, although its not a severe suicidal depression, I feel very apathetic although i do things I just feel sick in my head, I dont know how else to describe it. I am a bit listless and I am just waiting for a bit of energy so I can go on my treadmil for 5 mins to get the endorphins going.

Does this sound like BP to you? It doesnt to me, I think I have Cyclothymia tbh.

Wow. Just flip a coin. It sounds like you can't miss.