[ChaoticSymphony]

And now I'm lashing out at everyone. I wrote off my mom and dad today I wordlessly did the same to my brother snd sister. My mom wants to talk about boundaries so I gave her some myself...how about we all **** off and die. I can't bring myself to appologize to her because Im legit mad still. I just wish I wasn't so sharp with my words. I snap at my hubs and he's walking on pins and needles around me it's pathetic. I can't stop thinking about dying but I have kids to worry about. I started seroquel today maybe this will help.

Is this what we do? Or is this me being an asshole? I might of been hypo for a few months with slight depression sporadically thru that but this crash is a hard one. Logically I know it will pass but at the same time stringing mysekf up in the shower to avoid ever having to feel so crappy doesn't seem like the worse idea, there's always options isn't there. I slept all day yesterday all night last all day today and it's 7:30 and I'm off to bed. Great quality of life eh.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry, You just got pushed into a brick wall and you came out swinging.. it happens. Contact your Pdoc tomorrow if the Seroquel doesn't help you in a huge way tonight.

Anger is part of Bipolar. Right now? the main concern is keeping yourself safe. Later on you can revisit what happened with your mom and dad.

Just tell your Husband your very sorry , your in a terrible place and are going to reach out for help, Then step off the guilt train, Focus on you and staying safe.

Keep posting , Pm if you want or need to. Keep flinging coping skills until something sticks.. Breath...

[stressedmama]

I know exactly what you are feeling. I do the same thing. I seem to be angry all the time, and if I'm not in an angry state, the slightest little thing will set me off and put me there. As far as the dying part, I'm in that boat with you sister. I've thought about dying so many times. Since I was a teenager. As a teen I even bough a bottle of sleeping pills. Frequently in my adult years I've thought about driving down the interstate in the middle of the night as fast as my car would go, then just letting go of the wheel. Lately, I'm back on the sleeping pills train of thought. But I'm all my daughter has. We've got a court order suspending her dad's visitation indefinitely, she wants nothing to do with him, she wants my bf to adopt her, but in order to do that her dad would have to give up his parental rights legally, and he'll never do that if for no other reason than to be a complete #$%#@! So she is what keeps me going...barely, and I've even come as close to looking at what it would take to emancipate her (my bf would still take care of her 110% of course) so her dad would have no rights to her.... So often lately I've just wanted to go to sleep and just not wake up. Thank God for our precious angels...our babies need us. There is nothing better than a mother's arms for boo boos, or when their sick, or their feelings are hurt. Nobody knows their child better than a mother. We can beat this bastard disease, but we can't do it alone. It's a strong, persistent, nagging disability, but if we all stick together, and stand by each others side, helping each other, we can be STRONGER, MORE persistent than it is. Keep your chin up sister. Remember, this disease does not define you.

[Crazy Hitch]

[ChaoticSymphony]

Thank you everyone. Today doesn't seem so bleak which is far cry from last Tuesday. Weeeeeeee maybe this is lifting. I hope you all have a good day too.

[Homeira]

I can relate to every words in this thread. Been right there many times. I know my son needs me, so I have to stick around.