What about bipolar do you hate the most?

I do something similar, any time I forget to take a dose I save those in case something happens. I too fear withdrawals from psych meds. Anyone who says there's no withdrawl has never stopped abruptly.

I dislike that when I start to feel happy and energetic, I always worry a bit if i am going hypo. It`s like I can`t fully enjoy the positive feelings because of that.

My problems with sleep and feeling irritable...

At the moment, hopelessness and lack of self-esteem.

The hallucinations and feeling like colors and sounds are attacking me (especially in the morning) , it's so overwhelming.. ALSO being mad at people you're usually fine with for no reason at all.

With the hallucinations, people at school or my professors will look at me like I swallowed 15 marbles because I say something that wasn't true, but I would have sworn on my life at the time it was.

e.g. me- But, you said the homework was going to be due Thursday. It was right before you sat down

prof- uhhhhhh, what? No I didnt.. Im not sure where you got that from because not once did I sit down in the middle of a lecture..

me- *extremely embarrassed*

I experience more lows than highs, so it's never knowing when a depressive phase will end. Will it be in one week or one month?

Hi Thom2297,
I'm Bipolar 2 and for me, it's the depression and the psychosis (I've had 2 long periods) I have had difficulty with. With my meds, I don't have the moderate highs I used to get all the time and I miss them.

Lithium 1200 mg
Citalopram 30 mg

I hate what I do to friends and family in a manic phase, because the guilt you carry during your lows of you said or did is tough.

Deep,deep depression where there feels like there is no end, ever. The despair and hopelessness are overwhelming.

I simply hate everything.
I honestly cannot tell how it is to be "me". I never know when it is BD manifesting through me, or when it's just me.

I resent BD with all my heart. If I could take everything away I would.

I hate BD because it stole the first 44 years of my life, and still is.

Like the original poster's name: Always changing. Getting nowhere, and at least one person said something rude to me because of the changes, and who knows how many I've annoyed. Also, I've moved (different living spaces) let's see, 7 times in the last 7 years. That gets expensive, and I have few friends.

I *think* I'm getting better--been living here almost three years, and I have 6 friends. But I've thought about going somewhere else, where maybe things will be better or at least new--but I've told myself to shut up.

I hate everything about it and the shame I feel about being bipolar. I also hate the stigma about bipolar disorder.

I hate feeling like nobody close to me understands what I'm going through, and I especially hate how they don't understand that this just doesn't go away, that taking meds and seeing a therapist is not a cure all, that everyday can be a struggle to stay sane.

I hate not knowing what will happen next, whether I'm going to have a manic episode, an anxiety attack, or just suddenly break down in tears.

I hate the rage I feel. I hate the depression.

I hate feeling like I'm all alone.

I hate flying out of control in a rage over something stupid. I hate looking foolish and talked down too like I had any control over it.

I really find it annoying when people who know I have BP put my every outburst down as "acting bipolar". Or when I am feeling relatively ok, and actually do something like finish a project, clean my apartment, get exited about something -well, maybe she is manic?! I mean, not every thing I do or say is a symptom of BP.
But then again, I guess I have given them reason to think like that. And that I hate.

The constant guilt over the consequences of a lifetime of poor choices, especially regarding my son and his father.

The feeling of being like an alien from another planet (metaphorically), and there is something everyone else 'gets' that you don't.

Being unable to get anything unless hypomanic or 'normal'

The fact that it basically killed my son's father as he never found professional help and self medicated to death.

I could write a book.

loneliness

Wanting a few "good" friends, but fear to reach out. Besides, told a few I was BP and they split.

<- lack of judgment

I can do many things.

Not all of which serve my own mental health well.

It would be nice if I knew the difference.

Having to take handfuls of drugs each day

I don't like "me" right now. Blughhh.

I don't like any of it. My hypos are never productive just destructive....and my depressions are so deep and dark. . . and a 'good' day is so rare as to almost be non-existent. I have tons of regret and feel like I have lost a lifetime and that it is too late for me. I feel like it has won.

Mixed states are my idea of absolute hell

The crash after mania

I do ...