[Bipolarchic14]

I have two odd things that happen at times that are disturbing

1. Wondering if something is real

Yesterday I was out with a friend at the casino. I was talking with her and briefly mentioned i had to tie my shoe. I bent down tied it and when I looked up she was nowhere to be seen. I text her and she did not respond right away. I started wondering is she was ever there or if I was there by myself. I Started to panic and then she came back from around the corner.

The other weird thing that happens more frequently is I get this strange sensation of being side swiped by a car or of someone breaking into my house. It's not really a hallucination because I know it's not there and I can't actually see it. It's almost like a flashback that didn't happen. The sensation is there but not the hallucination.

Does anyone else experience either of these too and if do do you know what causes it?

It almost sounds like a form of dissociation? I'm not sure though. I would talk to your doc about these experiences. He may have a word for it as I think I am using the wrong term. It could also be paranoia.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I have two odd things that happen at times that are disturbing

1. Wondering if something is real

Yesterday I was out with a friend at the casino. I was talking with her and briefly mentioned i had to tie my shoe. I bent down tied it and when I looked up she was nowhere to be seen. I text her and she did not respond right away. I started wondering is she was ever there or if I was there by myself. I Started to panic and then she came back from around the corner.

The other weird thing that happens more frequently is I get this strange sensation of being side swiped by a car or of someone breaking into my house. It's not really a hallucination because I know it's not there and I can't actually see it. It's almost like a flashback that didn't happen. The sensation is there but not the hallucination.

Does anyone else experience either of these too and if do do you know what causes it?

1. Yes that's happened to me. Almost the exact same thing, with people disappearing. But I start panicking more over losing my bearings, though, and not being sure of where I am, rather than not being sure if the other person was there. Almost like somehow the world has shifted, I've been spun around somehow, and things don't look familiar.

2. Yes, yes! This happened to me recently, when I went off my meds. I thought there was a zombie outside my window, on my fire escape, while I was smoking a cigarette out the window. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it, and felt like I could reach out and touch it. When I went into my living room, I sensed/imagined a zombie dog outside my living room window. There is no terrace or fire escape out there, it just drops straight to the ground, but I believed it was there. I knew logically, that there were no zombies. But it was like dangling on a precipice. I believed I could reach out and touch.

It is like a hallucination, but you can't see it, but it's there. I know exactly what you're talking about.

I don't know what causes it, however.

[Velouria]

The 2nd one was almost like being in a dream state.

Delusions I would say. There's a bunch of times it feels that there is a presence in the room with me looking over my shoulder, ir watching me through the window...maybe they are?

I also experience moments that seems so fake it's like is this really happening? Especially in a casino with all the loud slot machine noises and flashing lights, it's like sensory overload and I'll step back out of my present trying to deal with all the stimuli.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

It almost sounds like a form of dissociation? I'm not sure though. I would talk to your doc about these experiences. He may have a word for it as I think I am using the wrong term. It could also be paranoia.

Unless it becomes life altering I probably won't. They already don't help me with the strong suicidal ideation I get and the rapid cycling. I just can't figure out if they believe me and there is not much that can be done or if they think I am making it up and just won't help me. Just hearing myself talk about this with my brother makes me feel like he is putting another layer of crazy/ weird on his impression of me. I think I need to stop talking with him about my disorder altogether. He never seems to be able to help anyway.

It's not paranoia. I don't picture people watching me. it's more like a quick flashback that never happened. Like revisiting a tramu that did not happen. As quick as changing Channels on a TV.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Velouria

1. Yes that's happened to me. Almost the exact same thing, with people disappearing. But I start panicking more over losing my bearings, though, and not being sure of where I am, rather than not being sure if the other person was there. Almost like somehow the world has shifted, I've been spun around somehow, and things don't look familiar.

2. Yes, yes! This happened to me recently, when I went off my meds. I thought there was a zombie outside my window, on my fire escape, while I was smoking a cigarette out the window. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it, and felt like I could reach out and touch it. When I went into my living room, I sensed/imagined a zombie dog outside my living room window. There is no terrace or fire escape out there, it just drops straight to the ground, but I believed it was there. I knew logically, that there were no zombies. But it was like dangling on a precipice. I believed I could reach out and touch.

It is like a hallucination, but you can't see it, but it's there. I know exactly what you're talking about.

I don't know what causes it, however.

I didn't feel like i changed to a different universe, or that someone disappeared. I began to wonder if she was there with me at all or if I imagined it because she literally disappeared around the corner and was no where to be seen for several minutes.

With the issue with zombies, that sounds terrifying! I am sorry that this happens to you. Fortunately, it's not like that for me. The "flashbacks" , we will call them, are a sensation that happens very quickly and then it is gone. Like ptsd for something that did not happen. This came on after I lost my mom, so I wonder if it is somehow connected to the pain I experienced when I lost my mom.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

It almost sounds like a form of dissociation? I'm not sure though. I would talk to your doc about these experiences. He may have a word for it as I think I am using the wrong term. It could also be paranoia.

I looked into that but I don't match the description.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I didn't feel like i changed to a different universe, or that someone disappeared. I began to wonder if she was there with me at all or if I imagined it because she literally disappeared around the corner and was no where to be seen for several minutes.

With the issue with zombies, that sounds terrifying! I am sorry that this happens to you. Fortunately, it's not like that for me. The "flashbacks" , we will call them, are a sensation that happens very quickly and then it is gone. Like ptsd for something that did not happen. This came on after I lost my mom, so I wonder if it is somehow connected to the pain I experienced when I lost my mom.

No, not that it changed to a different universe, but just that I lose my bearings. It's almost like vertigo, in a weird way. And things look temporarily unfamiliar. I think for me it has to do with anxiety, in that case. But I do start questioning where I actually am.

As for the other, that's the only time I can recall that happening so vividly. And I effing hate zombies. But I knew it wasn't real. I was more intrigued by the feeling itself. It was definitely a "Holy sh*twtf" moment, but something held me back from reacting as though it were real. Probably the fact that I couldn't see it. I just somehow sensed it. It was there, in 3D, but I couldn't see it.

It's very strange, I seem to walk a thin line between the real world and the other one.

It could be connected to the pain you experienced/experience from the loss of your mom. I think if you think so, you should explore that. You should follow your intuition, your mind might be trying to work it out in a way.

You could analyze it like a dream, almost. Your mom is one of the defining archetypes of "home." A sense of a home invasion is representative of that loss of security you feel without her.

Being sideswiped suddenly could represent the sudden shock of it, how at one moment you're driving, and being as cautious as you can, but there's nothing you can do to stop it. Completely out of your control.

I'm so sorry you lost your mom.

[Crazy Hitch]

Bipolarchick -

I am responding here to some of your ad ons:

- don't worry too much about what your brother thinks - his opinion is of little significance unless he is a qualified psychiatrist; please do not expect him to understand this from a medical profession; opinions he passes are merely personal opinions are not necessarily the truth

- I do not think you are making any of this up; please discuss this with your psychiatrist; there could be a medical explanation for this

- you have described these as flashbacks that never happened; ask your pdoc for the medical term for this

- you have described these as "false flashbacks" similar to the ones that you experienced during ptsd except they are described as "fasle"; yes; this is interesting
and I am wondering if you did have ptsd if you were seeing a psychologist at the time; perhaps your psychologist could also discuss these "false flashbacks" with you

- you said you have read up on paranoia and eliminate this as a possibility; okay; good; lets eliminate options; it gets you closer to the possible underlying cause of this