Suicidal Ideation without Depression

I was wondering if it was possible to fantasize about self harm/dying without actually being depressed. I don't feel depressed except for very rarely, though, I think about self harm, in many forms, and dying, either accidentally or through suicide, on a pretty consistent basis. Does anyone have experience with this?

Yes possibly.

This can occur when the mood isn't depressed as the overall dominant mood.

If a feeling of overwhealming fear or anxiety occurs due to external factors.

Yes.

This could be possible.

Just in my opinion.

I don't self-harm, but most days I think of suicide.

I'll admit it never is far out of my thoughts. It is, however, controlled 99% of the time.

Yep- I will feel like it even when not depressed. Sometimes the thought just pops into my head

I have these intrusive thoughts often-even when I feel ok. It's when they become plans that I know I need help.

I'm with ValentinVVV, don't self harm but suicide comes to mind daily.

I think this is one thing therapists and psychiatrists are in denial about.
How hard life is for someone with bipolar.

I am in the same boat. I get suicidal daily and I don't need to be depressed. I could hsve had the best day and when I am winding down for the night the si starts back in.

My sister tried to kill herself and it almost pulled our family apart. Please do not hurt yourself reach out to someone. Please

This is exactly why I'm afraid to bring it up with my pdoc/therapist. The last thing I want is more medication to control a depression that I don't feel. I'm afraid they'd label it as depression regardless of whether I actually feel depressed and then make notes about me not wanting to take the meds/resisting treatment.

I think my psychiatrist doesn't know what it feels like at all. And she doesn't seem very compassionate.

When you feel like that reach out to someone or make a list of all the good things that you have done that day or that week. Everyone is special. YOUR special

Yeah, mine doesn't really care much at all. I'm just another patient to get through so she can go home. Generic questions, generic reaponses, generic attitude. To be fair, I go through human services and get discounted help because I was hospitalized so many times within a short period of time without any health insurance to speak of. She's probably extremely overworked, but it doesn't inspire an open dialogue. I tell her what she wants to hear and she renews my prescription for another 2 months.

I see mine for therapy as well. $275/ hr.

I have a separate therapist, but I only pay $30 a month based on my income. I really can't complain about them, I see the pdoc for 15 minutes once every two months and the therapist for 30 minutes once a month. They're basically there just to make sure I stay where I currently am and don't go back to where I was a year ago.

No one in my life really cares enough for me to reach out to them. That's not just my bipołar talking. I have been dealing with this for so long, it has become who I am. So it doesn't come as a surprise to anyone when I am suicidal because it is chronic. It is just that sometimes it's worse than other times.

Even with my pdoc and therspist, they know I am suicidal but they just figure I will never act on it. Which is just as well as I don't want to go to a mental hospital. No matter how bad it gets I always think to myself, at least I don't have to be hospitalized. If I lose that then what.

The part that really upsets me is they won't do anything for the depression because it does not last long enough. I can be in a completely different mood state in the morning than in the evening. I am not even sure they believe me or if they think I am "malingering" This is why I wonder if I am bipołar. I don't technically match the full description of bp2.

same here except she's a he...and it's three months...funny but sad..

I totally think it is possible. I self harm and think about suicide constantly. I wouldn't say my main mood is only just depressed though. Technically im in a mixed episode, so that is how i feels. Sometimes i self harm without even knowing why or without being upset. I could be more "manic" or just bored and empty and do it.

The next time I go in, there will be a different pdoc replacing my old one and apparently it's gonna be a guy. We shall see how things go. The way things are now, I don't think I'd mind another month added between visits. Mostly, I just feel like they're a waste of time. Drive 20 minutes for a 15 minute (max) appointment and then come home. Oh, well. The conditions of me having a place to live are that I stay medicated and going to therapy, so I try to oblige.

It really does have a sad humor about it, doesn't it?

Have you received a second opinion? Maybe you are not bipolar?

There is not really a test to prove it.. Not really sure..i may try to get a second opinion. If I can disprove bipołar that I can have an antidepressant

Have you thought about looking into DBSA meetings or suicide support meetings? I had been going to dbsa meetings which helped, I have not been able to attend the suicide prevention one because I work when it takes place, but I heard that this helps people too.

I think it would be nice to be able to attend a DBSA meeting or two and maybe even start meeting some friends or something, but I get really anxious at the thought of attending anything with people I've never met before. I'm afraid I'd completely freak out and embarrass myself or just turn around once I pulled into the parking lot. I've been told that it can actually make your anxiety worse to continuously give in to it. Logic, therefore, dictates that I should avoid giving into the anxiety by not putting myself into situations that make me anxious. Okay, probably not the best solution, but it sounded good.

I'm not sure about the suicide prevention meetings because I'm not actively suicidal. I don't feel like I'm going to act on the suicide end of things, because I really don't feel depressed. I just don't think an accidental death would be the worst thing that could happen and the 'what if' thoughts are just kinda there every once in a while.

There is no test, true. But there symptoms.

Also, some research shows different areas of the brain light up differently when in mania and depression.

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