Confused, scared, trying to accept it all

Hello,

This is my first time posting so I am a little confused as to how to write this. Sorry if my writing gets a little disordered or there words don't make sense, my mind is just kinda racing.
I recently decided to seek out help and went to therapy and on the second session she suggested in-patient therapy. Like admitting myself for a few days to be evaluated, mostly because the past week I have continually been switching for one high to another. It isn't as bad as the past though, this has just been like three times, but she thinks it might help to further diagnose me and get proper medication.
As now I am on just 100 mg of lamictal and its been okay but doesn't help a lot. The thing I wanted to know is how did you face the fear, or if you had any for doing something like that such as getting evaluated or admitting yourself for a few days. For some reason it just scares me, I don't know what to tell my family, or if I should even tell them. I really do not want anyone to know, but there would be too many questions if I just dropped off the face of the earth for a few days. Then there is the whole thing of what if I am normal during that time? What if nothing is wrong those few days..I don't want them to think I am lying. I know that is absurd but it still bothers me and I am just lost as to how to go about this. Mostly I am just trying to accept what I am and get the proper help.

The only one who knew when I went to the hospital was my husband and son. My husband was allowed to tell our best friend. His family thought I went on vacation with my family. My family, I was busy doing something. I was so scared of the hospital but once I went it went well. I was there for 4 days, got new meds and learned it wasn't nearly as freaky as I thought it would be.

My daughter, son-in-law and my husband were the only ones that knew where I was and I was there 7 days before I told my daughter and son-in-law.

I didn't figure anyone else needed to know.

It was the best thing for me. They were able to change all my medications while I was under supervision.

Best wishes, Gayle
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I faced the fear because the fear of what might happen if I didn't go was greater. It's not a fun experience by any means but it is useful if you want to take good care of yourself and need a med change, evaluation or whatever. Sometimes we just have to do these things as people with bipolar to best care for ourselves. If our mood states are getting too extreme, too out of control, then it's time to take drastic measures. I just got out of the hospital a couple days ago and I'm glad I went. I'm feeling more in control of myself than I was before as I got a significant med adjustment. If you want to get the proper help for yourself, you might want to do as your therapist recommends. The best thing to do is not always fun or enjoyable.

Also I want to say don't be scared. They take care of you in the hospital and it is a safe place. You'll get through it and you'll be stronger for it. It's all for the best.

I fought my diagnosis for quite a while (even though it was pretty obvious to everybody close to me). Just take care of YOU, get some well-earned rest and hopefully meds adjusted. Remember, med changes take a while to kick in, so don't think it didn't "work" right off the bat. I told people in bits and pieces- my mom, then my dad, then my brother. When I was dating, I told when it felt right. I'm pretty open on social media, but I haven't told at work (which is funny, because I'm in a mental health field). I did get FMLA at work, so I can take time off, protected, with no questions asked. The big thing is to take care of yourself and let people know when you feel safe. Good luck to you

Inpatient was the best thing that could have happened to me last fall when I was in the middle of a suicidal depression. No one wants to go, and I was scared s***less of the hospital myself so I know how reluctant people can be. But when you're more scared of what's going on in your life than what might happen in the hospital, it's time to go in. Let yourself be taken care of, attend groups and art/music therapy, rest, and eat well.

No one knew where I was for a week as I would not let then notify anyone...the only reason I allowed them was it was the only way to be released...only my wife and kids know...because they had to be in my release evaluation...( and one person at work I trust),, funny she paniced last week when I over slept she thought I had offed myself...ah to be MI...I really don't remember much about IP ,,learned nothing but was restful...