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#1
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I'm 29 years old and I've had 2 separate 5 year relationships, but I've never been in love. Both relationships were comfortable but in a sense a waste of time. Both of the women were attractive, smart and had great personalities. I'm starting to feel like I should just give up on relationships all together. Is this an irrational thought?
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![]() raspberrytorte
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#2
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(((((Trav))))) I'm also 29 and my longest relationship has been less than 2 years. I'm struggling with this question myself.
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#3
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I've always figured bipolars were hopeless romantics because I was. The love feelings were in overdrive because that's what bipolar does, magnifies the emotions, feelings, instincts when your manic. I've hooked up with some of the most wrong people for me because I was "blinded by love". They always ended in utter chaos. There's a difference in hypersexualality and bipolar love, even though hypersexuality can lead to bipolar love, I truly believe.
So maybe you haven't found that right connection yet? Don't give up until your at least 90 years! You are only 29 for petes sake! I'm 47 and divorcing on my fourth try. I got a feeling I just might get it right the next time! One can only hope. ![]() |
#4
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I've never been in love and my longest relationship was less than 2 years too. I think I just get flighty and break up with people before things get too serious, or when things get ugly. I'm still hoping to meet the right someone someday though. (hopeless romantic)
__________________
Diagnoses: Bipolar I, GAD, binge eating disorder (or something), substance abuse, and ADHD. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” ― Aristotle |
#5
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My husband and I just celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary. I grew up around two couples where the wife had bipolar disorder. Both of those marriages lasted over 60 years, only ending when one of them passed away. Falling in love or not is not about bipolar disorder. Does it create challenges? Absolutely. Impossible? Absolutely not.
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![]() furiousfever, Trippin2.0
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#6
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Just celebrated 5 years. We have an oddly perfect relationship. I'm bipolar and say mean unnecessary s***. He's emotionally detached and struggles being emotionally intune. This is a perfect match made in heaven because when I blow up and say things that would crush someone else, he blows it off. He gets mad, but it's pretty hard to say anything that will actually stick.
Of course this mix creates issues on its own that we have to work on daily but he makes of what I lack which is the ability to get over things quick and make up, and I pick up what he lacks which is getting him emotionally involved since I'm always in emtion overdrive. Strange relationship that actually evens everything out. Not to mention we both are extremely stubborn so when things got absolutely terrible around 3years, neither of us would leave. This consisted of "Well, I'm not leaving so you have too." "Well, I'm not leaving so you have to put up with me!" We went through this a few times around 2-3 years and never made it past a few days before making up. |
#7
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I'm 40 years old, have bipolar disorder, and I've been in love several times. It's definately possible to fall in love with bipolar disorder.
Best of luck. |
#8
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I've been married for 15 years in August.
This does not mean that before my marriage I did not fall in and out of love and make choices I wish I would have never made. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. I am lucky, my wife is a quite good book type and I am a loud mouth blabber jaw with some anger problems with tons of insecurity. She tends to be very passive with me and it works out good. If she gave into my swings, we would have never made it this long. I sometimes thank her for standing by my side. So yes, we can and do fall in love, probably to much because we tend to be very fuzzy around the edges. But true love is another thing and I believe it lurks around some corner somewhere. |
#9
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You'll find love. You probably just haven't met the right person yet. There's someone out there for you. Everyone can fall in love. Love is nice. I like being in love. I love my husband. We're still very much in love, and it's been thirteen years.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#10
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In my young life I have had some trouble discerning between real love or lust and infatuation. These intense bipolar love feelings have clouded my judgement more than once and caused me to believe I was desperately in love with someone who didn't treat me well. However now I am in a committed relationship, engaged to be married, and I recognize this as real love and not merely lust or infatuation. It is possible to find true love as someone with bipolar, you may just have to weed through other feelings that mask love, which can be really difficult.
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#11
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My experience may not be valid since I'm also borderline, but my longest relationship has lasted one month. After December 2014 I lost interest on sexual and emotional relationships and I only rely on my best friend now. It's hard for me to not destroy our relationship, but I try to refrain myself from doing something stupid that could harm it by telling myself that she's all I have.
__________________
![]() Map Unofficial Dx: DID, Bipolar II, BPD, AsPD, OCD, ED-NOS... Tom (host), Lana, Chris, Christine, Alex, Judit, Hilde, Tommy, Margaret, Allie, Cali, Lxvis, Others |
#12
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We absolutely can!
![]() I was with my ex for 25 years. He was VERY even-keeled. (HAD to be with all the chaos I brought to the table, lol.) I never cheated (till very end), but I did have some crazy infatuations. Which all took place in my very vivid imagination… Good thing, as they were pretty whacked choices. Been living with BF a bit over 5 years. He is not even-keeled. I'm nuts about him even though he drives me nuts sometimes. 'Cause I do too. I don't think about anyone else real or imagined now. Very different experiences. |
#13
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I don't understand how this is even a question.. I find it a bit offensive that one would even question whether a group of people with a mood disorder are able to have real human emotions.
Is this serious? Or are you just looking for someone to reassure you that you will find love one day? Either way, the answer is yes, and the real question is: Why are we putting ourselves in boxes? Isn't that the therapist's job? |
#14
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Orderly bipolar or disorderly (my humor can be banal!)
![]() ..does not change the fact that we're all human and capable of giving and receiving love as greatly as anybody else. Do not sell yourselves short because of a little thing like mental illness. Show me just one supposedly 'non-mental person' on this planet, I'd love to meet such a phenomenon! When we take great care of ourselves, follow our doctor's orders, take our meds and do the hard work that improves our health, well ... we're simply unstoppable and extremely loveable xox ![]() |
#15
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To be honest, I grew up being a bit condescending about people who fall in love to quickly. In the USA we are overly concerned with finding a mate -because so much of the media is geared towards that. There is hardly any movie that doesn't have the 'love' storyline intermingled with the main story.
In my family we do not fall in love easily. When we do, it is hard - clear and forever. I am proud of that. I have been a fool who has said," I love you". When I didn't. The soul knows what it knows - and you do not have to be in love by a certain age. When it happens, you will know. I have had 2 siblings not meet their 'true love' until their 30's. One in his 50's. I was in my 30's. (Although I did marry a man in my 20's because I thought it was the right thing to do, expected and so on - said 'I love you' to him for 10 years, after deciding love was apparently a myth. Of course, that ended in divorce. What an awful cage to be with someone from duty rather then from love. When it happened I was totally taken. Love doesn't have an age, and I say - good for you for knowing your true self. When you fall, you will know it and be devoted. Best of luck to us all.
__________________
BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL! ![]() 600 mg Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) 30 mg Atarax (hydroxyzine) 8 mg Trilafon (perphenazine) Bipolar 1 - Borderline Personality Disorder - Generalized Anxiety Disorder - Eating Disorder |
#16
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Quote:
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#17
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The trouble i had with my two serious relationships was that i was manic when they met me and they didn't like me so much when i changed to depression. I'm depressed a lot more than i am manic. For my part, i was also far more attracted to THEM when i was manic and puzzled and frustrated with them when i came back down to earth and couldn't fathom how i had chosen such inappropriate partners.
You've read stories here of how people have successful relationships. I'm 48 and i just accept that part of my life is over. I have a dog instead. |
![]() Imah
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