[cashart10]

So...I decided to fight the stigma in small part by "coming out" to all of my friends and family on facebook:

I absolutely cannot believe I am about to share this, but I was recently convicted about the need to fight the stigma of mental illness and so I am going to share my personal experience with it. It is especially hard to share because my particular diagnosis is so poorly portrayed and therefore feared. I suffer from Bipolar I Disorder. It a type of mental illness that transitions between the extremes of mania and depression. I experience very infrequent, severe (and serious), elated highs lasting from a few weeks to a few months and dark depressions that last from a couple of months to, a few times over the course of my lifetime, a couple years. I am not at all a "moody" person. I have a very small temper that shows itself very infrequently. I am not at all a raging, inconsistent lunatic. Most people with mental illnesses, even severe ones, are not. In fact, people with mental illness are much more likely to be hurt then to hurt others. I guess I am suggesting that instead of the psychos portrayed in the media, those with Bipolar Disorder and other mental illnesses are more likely to be the housewives next door. I hope this changes no one's opinion of me but if it does, it shouldn't. If anyone has questions, or needs any kind of support, please feel free to comment or message me. I have attached a reliable link if you want to learn more about my illness.

However, my mom talked me out of it. What are all of your opinions on this?

[sorand0m]

I've always been careful about sharing my illness, because it seems to split people right down the middle.

A short while ago I mentioned it very briefly to family and friends and was surprised at the reaction. Many wished me the best in getting control of my life, although I suspect the revelation was hardly much of a surprise.

There was one 'you don't look ill' comment.

I didn't think they were stupid, either.

[raspberrytorte]

I wouldn't do it. It's no ones business. That's just me though.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Im rather reserved in sharing. But I did once.

I talked about it in front of about 40 people..long story. The reaction I got was surprising. Hugs and love. Most of the people I didn't know.

But..you just never know. So many people are just plain ignorant.

[wildflowerchild25]

I wish I could. But I have a lot of coworkers on my facebook and I don't want work knowing more than they already do.

[~Christina]

Personally I wouldn't . But I am also a person that had cancer and never mentioned that on facebook either..

Think it over, Do realize that some people are going to flip out and may say some nasty ugly things.

Your not stable..... so opening up "right now" about your Bipolar probably isn't the wisest choice, maybe wait til your stable and doing well so that if people are nasty or whatever you will better cope with it in a healthier way.

[HALLIEBETH87]

^^that. I think I got lucky. I was impulsive about it. I'd never do it now.

[emgreen]

I admire your eagerness to fight stigma where bipolar is considered, but I wouldn't post something like that on Facebook or elsewhere on the web. Once a message gets sent out into cyberspace, there's no telling where it might end up or how folks might react to it. A big fear would be a future employer who ran across that information; such a disclosure might shoot down your chances of being hired. There are other potential consequences I won't detail here.

[cashart10]

Well...I'm feeling a little silly. But, since all of you have a resounding no and my mother also told me it is very foolish, I am not going to do it. I have never been one to share about my illness at all but my perception about that has been challenged. And Christina, you are right, I am very unstable and that is perhaps, driving this need at least a bit. Maybe I am fetching the cause as a deterrence from my negativity. Whatever the reason driving my need, it is, I suppose, not worth it. Thanks for all of your input!

[RisuNeko]

On world bipolar day what was it, last week? I outed myself on facebook to all my "friends" with a brief message saying all of the things that I am other than my bipolar. A daughter, a friend, a caregiver, etc. and that I may be bipolar but bipolar does not have me. I got good reactions. Mainly from extended family and ex professors who probably knew there was something up with me from all of the times I cried in their offices. I'm glad they were supportive though. No negative comments whatsoever.

[UCMATH]

Hopefully people will be more accepting of it one day. I'm very reserved about it, because two of my old roommates freaked out and tried to get rid of me once I told them about my diagnosis, because they didn't want to live with a "dangerous, irresponsible, and untrustworthy" person. They didn't think any of those things about me until I told them. I also had problems with an internship dropping me after they found out. They're not supposed to do that, but it happens and I wasn't feeling well enough to fight it at the time.

Are there specific people you trust to be accepting if you tell them? Perhaps they've voiced support for people with mental illnesses before or something like that. In any case, I'd definitely be careful with who I tell.

I limit my audience when I have mental health related issues to share. I do use it as a place to rant or to sometimes get support. Mostly I just want people to know how bloody hard I am trying and how much of a struggle EVERYTHING is so they appreciate their lives more. But I think most see it as a cry for attention, thats not what I mean by it, I just want them to appreciate that they have it much easier than I ever have. I dont want them to feel guilty either, just acknowledge that life sucks for me so when comes the day it ends they know I am finally free.

I admire your desire to tell people about your illness and reasons for doing so. I don't know if you have a job or plan to have one in the near future. If you do or are, I think that is the big risk with sharing that info.

It's sad that we have to worry so much about discrimination.

Whoever said that it would be better to be stable when sharing something like this has a good point. You'd want to think about how it would affect you if you got seriously negative reactions.

I recently discovered Therese Borchard at the Beyond Blue web site. She is a writer and an advocate for improved treatment of and for people with mental illness. I have been reading her a lot lately. She's stable now and she's angry. She's funny, too.

Again, I admire your desire to tell people "this is what bipolar illness looks like." I hope there will be a right time and place to do that.

And if you decide to do it anyway, I will applaud you.

[Crazy Hitch]

I can understand your intentions behind the need for you to do this.

So I need to say.

For you, personally, in your particular situation.

Kudos.

[sorand0m]

It is ridiculous in this day and age that we still have to hide away mental illness. That we all have to be guarded with what we say. The whole thing irritates me. If something was physically wrong with me, people would be sympathetic with it, so why the change just because they cannot see it?

Sometimes, I feel like shouting "Hey, guess what! I suffer from bipolar!" just to get out my frustration. Last time I was at work a couple of colleagues made a comment about a certain celebrity having bipolar and it just instantly hit a nerve. Neither of them know about my bipolar and it took all my strength not to lose my **** there and then.

I may be 'crazy', but one look at what 'normal' is supposed to be like makes you wonder who's the one really ill.

I once made mention of my illness on Facebook, but nobody cared. Of course, I don't have that many friends because I periodically unfriend everyone and then delete my account, but those that are there, pretty much didn't care.

[ozzy1313]

I have shared lots of mental health links, so some people may put 2 and 2 togther. I have told most of my friends and no one cares. I also work in a restaurant and that's an environment for the "crazies" anyway

I don't think I would ever "come out" on facebook either. People are too prejudicial. My close friends and family know and that's it. I most certainly wouldn't come out about my having ECT. Only my family and very best friends know that. I think people think people who have ECT are way off the deep end. It's unfortunate but true.

[Nammu]

Once it's out there you can't ever retrieve it. In that way it's like a tatto you can't ever get rid of, or walking around naked. Everything is hanging out there for anyone to see. Might be ok when your young but then when you want to get a job, or meet someone special they will see your laundry before they get to know you.

Sounds great to fight stigma but the reality is that it could come back to bite you.

[lovejoy91]

I've told my Facebook family and don't regret it. If people are going to discriminate, so be it. It's part of life unfortunately and I refuse to let what others think of me control me. How about that? Lol.

[bella4]

I hate that there is such a stigma in MH, because my illness does not define who I am. Yet, once my family learned that I was diagnosed with Bipolar, they were the first to hurt me by playing a part in my support group, while being the assailant behind my back. I also disclosed the nature of my illness to a companion of mine and he ran faster than I could explain. I am still learning who I can and cannot trust with such discretion. I am lucky that I do have a best friend who understands and accepts me. I hope that one day society looks at me and accepts me just as they do as someone with a heart condition or diabetes. I am not my illness, I am….

[Capriciousness]

I think your conviction and intentions are super commendable. I do feel like there are better mediums than facebook for fighting the stigma. I also feel very strongly in my heart the need to do my part to fight the stigma for all of us and one of the best ways to do that is to out myself and let people see that this is what mental illness looks like. Like you said not the media stereotype but the housewife next door. I am that housewife . But I have fear about it. I have fear of being judged or something. Sometimes I may be wearing my t shirt that says "kiss me I'm bipolar" in the house and I will panic and change it before going out with my three kids. Funny if it is just me I will wear it. Hmm.

Anyway I do think it is true that every time we out ourselves and show the true face of bipolar, not some salacious freak show on the television, we are fighting it and forcing people to change their perceptions of us. But it isn't fair that we have to "risk" in order to do this. But I guess it has always been like that for the discriminated against.

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm glad you decided not to do this. Once it's out, you can't take it back. It would be one thing if you told you story to someone individually, but making a blanket statement---as well written as it is---probably isn't wise.

Like you, I want to eliminate stigma and speaking out is necessary to accomplish that goal. But waiting till you're stable before you do it is the best way to go IMHO.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by UCMATH

Hopefully people will be more accepting of it one day. I'm very reserved about it, because two of my old roommates freaked out and tried to get rid of me once I told them about my diagnosis, because they didn't want to live with a "dangerous, irresponsible, and untrustworthy" person. They didn't think any of those things about me until I told them. I also had problems with an internship dropping me after they found out. They're not supposed to do that, but it happens and I wasn't feeling well enough to fight it at the time.

Are there specific people you trust to be accepting if you tell them? Perhaps they've voiced support for people with mental illnesses before or something like that. In any case, I'd definitely be careful with who I tell.

Some of my family and my two best friends know about it and they still stand by me. While I haven't told a lot of people about it, I have had only positive experiences with those I have told. I do know some people in my life that I could NEVER tell because they would, undoubtedly, judge me negatively. I'm just trying to find ways to promote awareness to those who ignorantly judge, to those who, perhaps if they knew the truth, would be more accepting.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by RisuNeko

On world bipolar day what was it, last week? I outed myself on facebook to all my "friends" with a brief message saying all of the things that I am other than my bipolar. A daughter, a friend, a caregiver, etc. and that I may be bipolar but bipolar does not have me. I got good reactions. Mainly from extended family and ex professors who probably knew there was something up with me from all of the times I cried in their offices. I'm glad they were supportive though. No negative comments whatsoever.

That's awesome!