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#1
Apr 13, 2015, 07:08 PM
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This illness never goes away..the thoughts never go away..the depression..really..never goes away,maybe a day or two..and meds just fog it..oh..just take a pill..sleep the day away.and stand there in a daze when I'm awake..this is the rest of my life..just f****** depressing!!!
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Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Generalized Anxiety Disprder *no meds currently 
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 Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, HALLIEBETH87, Mrs. Mania, Nammu, Road_to_recovery, Ruftin, Wander
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#2
Apr 13, 2015, 08:37 PM
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(((irritable4life))) No it never goes away.
 We learn to live with it. I feel your frustration. Well, I actually live it. I'm bipolar. Please know your not alone and really live in those days when you feel good. It's how I survive. 
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#3
Apr 13, 2015, 08:39 PM
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This is one drag of an illness, isn't it? I totally relate to what you wrote. I see things written about how we can live such great lives with Bipolar yadda yadda yadda, but when it comes right down to it, this life is damn hard.
The med game is tiresome, and half the time doesn't work. And the up and down of the moods is guaranteed to wear you out long before your expiration date. Yeah, I hear ya!
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Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
 irritable4life
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#4
Apr 13, 2015, 09:44 PM
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Yep. It sucks.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#5
Apr 13, 2015, 10:17 PM
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It sucks. If you're like me-you might have this realization many times. We just have to keep taking care of ourselves.
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Nammu, Ruftin
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#6
Apr 13, 2015, 11:29 PM
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Taking care of myself seems impossible. I put everything ahead of taking care of myself to the point where i never relax, i dont shower, my room is a hurricane zone and i have no self care rituals to speak of. And i wouldnt even consider myself depressed, just my low baseline, altbough i was just manic so maybe im headed for a depression i dont know, i can never tell, its too unpredictable. In the mean time i just suffer alone and in silence, this one message board as my only reality check. Does it get any better? Does it? Probably not. But i still dream anyway. Its what keeps me alive, literally.
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Diagnoses: Bipolar I, GAD, binge eating disorder (or something), substance abuse, and ADHD. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” ― Aristotle |
| electricbipolargirl
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#7
Apr 13, 2015, 11:33 PM
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I agree with everyone. But there are times of happiness mixed in.It is just hard to remember sometimes.
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| Hopeful Camel
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#8
Apr 14, 2015, 12:01 AM
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It does get better, at least for awhile. Depression, mania, normal moods.....we cycle in and out, and if we're lucky we get to spend more time in a stable mood than the others. That's really all we can expect when we live with this disorder, and we're damned lucky if we get it. I'm in a good phase now and have been for a few months, but I know at some point I'll cycle back out and it'll hit the fan again. Such is life with bipolar.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
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#9
Apr 14, 2015, 12:08 AM
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I dont generally get to spend any time between episodes. The ups are good but i dont sleep and go psychotic. The downs are just well awful. And the time betweeb is just a mild depression, not suicidal, but definitely not happy. and the mixed episodes are a whole other story.
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Diagnoses: Bipolar I, GAD, binge eating disorder (or something), substance abuse, and ADHD. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” ― Aristotle |
| electricbipolargirl
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#10
Apr 14, 2015, 08:11 AM
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I hate to be all negative and **** but whatever is wrong me has just gotten worse with age. My last whatever it was was the worst episode I've ever had. My last depression was about four months long but way intense (I lost about twenty pounds). So, for me anyway, I'm just getting worse, and nothing all that stressful has even happened in my life recently. When some **** really does hit the fan I'm worried I'm going to have another detachment from reality episode, only it'll become permanent..
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| electricbipolargirl, Ruftin
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#11
Apr 14, 2015, 04:31 PM
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Thats scary. Its all scary. Life is scary.
__________________
Diagnoses: Bipolar I, GAD, binge eating disorder (or something), substance abuse, and ADHD. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” ― Aristotle |
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