[RisuNeko]

Yesterday I had a psychiatrist appointment, and it went so wrong. I've been stable for about a month, which is great, but by the end of the appointment I was offended and guilty and blubbering like a baby.

I told my pdoc I wanted to switch from the pharmacy at the clinic to my old pharmacy because they shorted me by 4 whole days and I couldn't pick up until after those four days because they wouldn't let me. So I ran out of all my meds, and some of them have dangerous withdrawals. It was my first time using their pharmacy and it was already such a bad experience that I had had it. So I asked to be switched back to the pharmacy I had been using since 2008. My pdoc's reaction was that he didn't want to work with me anymore if I made that decision, and I held firm, I was not going to put up with their awful pharmacy. Plus it's an hour busride to get there and my usual pharmacy is like 2 minutes away. He said I was making an awful decision and that it would impact my mental health negatively because I'll have to drive to the pharmacy all of the time, which makes no sense because my meds are synced and I can get them all on the same day once a month. He said it was against what he understood as best practice to let mentally ill people use commercial pharmacies. Again makes no sense. Then I told him I got into grad school, which should have been a "Yay great job" moment, but instead he asked where, and I said where and he said, that's out of county, you're going to have to leave this clinic in 3 months anyway so I might as well just keep you as a patient until them. Great, I get to work with a man who hates my guts. He said I was defiant and non compliant because of the pharmacy thing and because I refused to go on clozaril like he wanted me to over and over again, because I don't want to have to wait at their clinic for 2 hours every week indefinitely to get blood tests to make sure I'm not going to die from toxicity, and I don't want weight gain or diabetes, or seizures, or tardive dyskinesia, or rashes, or muscle rigidity, or throat and mouth ulcers or many of the other horrific side effects, but especially the weight gain because I've lost 50 lbs in the past couple of months and have another 64 to go because of being put on too many antipsychotics in the past, and the blood draw thing, because I hate needles, and that's just such an inconvenience. With the one hour bus ride each way and the two hour wait time that's 4 hours out of my day on my precious days off. He thought I was being completely irrational and unreasonable about the pharmacy thing and the clozaril thing, and then he was about to kick me out of his office after only having been there for about 8 minutes when I said "What? That's it, we're not even going to check in?" and his response was harsh and cold so I started crying. I had already felt so bad but he only made it worse. He ended up letting me stay in his office until I stopped crying (almost) and it came up that I have been having a lot of hallucinations lately, and he said I have to get a brain scan to rule out anything neurological and if that comes up clean he's going to change my diagnosis to schizoaffective. Whatever, that's fine. I have whatever I have, but I'm not going to let him put me on any more weight gaining antipsychotics just to get rid of some hallucinations that don't even bother me in the slightest. I consider them a non-problem. Anyway. He's a total d***, and I'm really not looking forward to the next 3 months with him. I think I'm going to just wait until he figures out my diagnosis and then I'm going to go somewhere else, because the whole situation is just ridiculous and unfair to me. I want good care. I feel like I deserve good care. Not someone who's going to disagree with me at every turn and blame me for it. End rant.

[wildflowerchild25]

Dump him. He sounds like a real control freak who doesn't want anyone questioning his "authority" in YOUR mental health.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry your pdoc is a ****. Can you request a new one? when do you go back? I'm glad that he's doing a brain scan before dx you scizoaffective,

[cashart10]

What a jerk! I say fire him too. I'm sorry he put you through that. You can find someone better!

Ack. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's been a long time ago, but I have seen pdocs in the past who acted similarly if I didn't do exactly what they suggested and questioned them in any way. One actually stood over me and yelled at me. (I didn't go back.)

I hope that you're able to find another doctor who will treat you with more respect.

[shortandcute]

Wow. That is so weird that he even got that way about the pharmacy! I never even heard of the whole not letting mh patients use commercial pharmacies. That is just plain crazy.

[~Christina]

Start calling to find a new one I'm sorry that you have such a horrible ugly person as a "healthcare provider" I hope he is treated just as terrible one day.

[raspberrytorte]

What a jerk. I hate man doctors. Every man doctor I've ever had was like yours! I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

(Okay, and I know probably not EVERY man doctor is an asswipe. Just never met one that wasn't.)


Do you have to see him for the next three months? Can you find someone else?

[Woolly Bugger]

My immediate reaction to your story is that your psychiatrist has some sort of financial arrangement with the pharmacy at the clinic. That's the only reason I can think of that explains why he wouldn't want you to go to a commercial pharmacy. Nothing else makes sense. If I were you, I would stay with him only as long as it takes to find someone new. Best of luck.

[Nammu]

Sounds like one of those egomaniacs that somehow passed medical school and thinks that gives them the right to treat everyone else like ****. I've known a few of them, they need to have a real life situation that teaches them they are no better than anyone else. Hang in there in 3 months you'll be rid of the jerk. Actually you might try teaching him math, a pharmacy that's minutes away versus one that's hours away? One that's worked for you for years versus one that screwed up? That's a no brainier. Maybe they used him for a dummy in med school and removed his brain?

I'd tell him he's so fired ( that's just a fantasy). I'd just get me another and cancel all apponitments

Sorry to hear you have a crappy pdoc I'd take a guess that he gets finacial gain from the pharmacy he wants you to go to aswell
That's all that makes sense

Just make sure you have enough meds to get you through til you find a new one.

[RisuNeko]

When I told my mom what happened she thought he was getting a kickback from the pharmacy too. I thought so to so I even asked him if that was why and he flat out denied it. I think he was lying. Thanks for all the support guys. I think I'm going to stick with him just long enough to sort out whether I have schizoaffective then I'm going to find somewhere else even before the 3 months is up.

[Trippin2.0]

Sounds like your pdoc needs a pdoc and brain scans himself... The latter to determine if he even has one!


What a turd sack!

[RisuNeko]

Indeed. What a turd sack! I don't even think he should be licensed.

[raspberrytorte]

Lol. Turd sack.

[calgontakemeaway]

I feel so badly for you and realize you must feel so abandoned and rejected by our Pdoc, the one person you should be able to rely on for help and support. I had a similar experience over the last month when I was feeling like my T trying to push me out (you are not as depressed as you think...you don't do what I recommend) and he gave me a "tentative" date for my next appointment. I sort of panicked and sent an email saying I wanted to quit, that is jump before I am pushed, and he basically said ok, take care!!! Man, talk about abandonment, one of my biggest issues. I was devastated and hated him to my core. But being bipolar....I changed my mind a few days later and asked if he would continue to see me. He said he has a line of people waiting for appointments and therefore has no openings for the foreseeable future...Is anyone really THAT busy? I don't want to start over with someone new because I find Therapy to be excruciatingly hard. So, the one person who knew I have abandonment issues (esp. where men are concerned) dumped me like a rotten tomato. It is devastating be treating poorly by people we PAY to help us. I hope you find someone more sympathetic soon and get your pharmacy issue straightened out. ITs not as though we are not already in mental and emotional anguish. SHEESH! Hugs to you...

[RisuNeko]

Hugs to you too! Sounds like you had an awful experience too. I wish the mental health field was better but it's not. I've had 4 therapists and 3 of them sucked horribly and the other one quit after 3 visits. Now I'm on my 5th therapist and he's just a social worker and I'll only be working with him for 3 months. Then I have to switch therapists again. I'm already going to start looking for a psychiatrist that actually specializes in adhd and bipolar/schizoaffective in the area I'm going to move to in three months because I don't want to have to deal with a pdoc who clearly hates me for 3 months. He's not going to help me one bit other than maybe diagnose me with schizoaffective. But I don't care about that, I care about the adhd because that's what's ruining my life right now even though I'm stable otherwise. I just can't get by in school or at work because of my inattention/focus problems.

[RisuNeko]

At least the pharmacy issue is straightened out sort of but my pdoc said he refuses to ever call my pharmacy if there is a problem with my meds even if he forgets to send a prescription or forgets to do refills. I'm just SOL. So that's very sweet (read neglectful) of him.

Wow what a terrible doctor! Hope you can finish business with him quickly and find someone awesome!

[RisuNeko]

I hope so too! Thanks!

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by RisuNeko

At least the pharmacy issue is straightened out sort of but my pdoc said he refuses to ever call my pharmacy if there is a problem with my meds even if he forgets to send a prescription or forgets to do refills. I'm just SOL. So that's very sweet (read neglectful) of him.

What's wrong with him?! That would make me so nervous. Has he always been such a jerk? Jeez. I don't understand why what pharmacy you go to matters! What's the big deal here?!

[RisuNeko]

I don't understand either. I've used that pharmacy for 9 years and have had no problems and it hasn't made my condition worse by having to go there. It's where I do my grocery shopping. If anything it helps my condition because it forces me to buy food when i don't want to eat. He wasn't always this bad he just turned on me after I repeatedly said I didn't want to go on clozaril. It's my body. I have a right to choose not to poison it or be stuck with needles every week for blood draws.

Thinking of you, what a negative experience....and pdoc!

[RisuNeko]

Thanks! I have to see him again next tuesday and I'm already nervous. I haven't been able to start looking elsewhere yet because of midterms.