[AleneElora]

Hello!
So a few weeks ago i met this guy, he's gorgeous, an Italian doctor, very sweet and courteous. The problem is I've recently been diagnosed and i'm extremely unstable. My psychiatrist tells me i have to be patient to find a drug combination that works for me. Right now i'm ultra rapid cycling so one weeks i may feel completely manic and the other completely depressed. As you may have guessed i went on a date with him while i was manic (Not extremely manic though, hypomanic) Right now i couldn't sustain a relationship even if i tried. I believe a relationship should be give and take and all i can do now is take. Plus i'm extremely unconfident and insecure about everything about myself from my looks to my personality atm. I'm debating taking a break from dating alltogether until i feel more confident with myself and i stop ultra rapid cycling with the help of new medication and therapy. What do you guys think?

[ThunderGoddess]

I think if you feel you should wait then do so! I wish I had waited until I was stable because I've now been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I've been a roller coaster the whole time! I feel horrible for all the things I have put him through and unfortunately can't take it back Luckily my boyfriend is very understanding although I know he is stressed when I get irritable or suicidal.
I can't say that it is the worst thing to have a boyfriend during this healing process but you must be prepared for the damages we can cause people by our frequent mood swings its very difficult for someone without Bp to really understand it isn't their fault in my opinion. If you do decide to go through with dating him which you should if you feel he is someone that could go on this journey with you I don't think it would be a bad idea to inform him what Bp is and how it affects you and maybe some warning signs. Just don't give up what you want because of Bp the right person will stand by you

[AleneElora]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

I think if you feel you should wait then do so! I wish I had waited until I was stable because I've now been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I've been a roller coaster the whole time! I feel horrible for all the things I have put him through and unfortunately can't take it back Luckily my boyfriend is very understanding although I know he is stressed when I get irritable or suicidal.
I can't say that it is the worst thing to have a boyfriend during this healing process but you must be prepared for the damages we can cause people by our frequent mood swings its very difficult for someone without Bp to really understand it isn't their fault in my opinion. If you do decide to go through with dating him which you should if you feel he is someone that could go on this journey with you I don't think it would be a bad idea to inform him what Bp is and how it affects you and maybe some warning signs. Just don't give up what you want because of Bp the right person will stand by you

I'm unsure, he knows about BP seen as he's a doctor but once when we were discussing the topic of mental illness the conversation drifted to BP and his opinion was that people with BP will remain crazy for a lifetime. He doesn't know i have BP of course but that opinion sort of stung a little.

[ThunderGoddess]

Ehh yeah I have noticed doctors in general have a limited view on Bp and that is a little scary to know that is his opinion I'm sorry I can imagine that was tough go hear. This is a tough situation I personally wouldn't date someone that said something like that but I have bpd as well as Bp so I take things very personally. If you feel he could be open minded I would let him know you have Bp and see where the conversation goes if you get a bad vibe after telling him then def move on but since he already holds an opinion on Bp I think it is essential that he knows you have it. Plus anyway its actually pretty hurtful and rude to call people with Bp crazy for life!

[~Christina]

I think you need to just focus your energy on finding some stability for yourself.. Dating someone new while your all over the place is just adding more stress to your current struggle .

As for the Doctor and his pretty lousy thoughts on mental illness, well I doubt he is going to be a real supportive person in your life , I would just let that go.

I was in the hospital a few months back , I caught a nasty bug and was so dehydrated. I was a direct admit to the hospital from my normal GP so I didn't go through the ER, This asshat Doctor comes in and is asking me what meds I take and what normal medical conditions, I said " Fibro and BP" I swear he literally took 2 steps back ,,like I was going to snap and lunge at him .. mind you I could not even lift my freaking head.. It's terrible that even Doctors are ignorant and stigma exists in there minds !

My advice , find stability and when dating don't feel you need to disclose right away , let a person get to know you ... Hell you might decide at date 3 the guy is a jerk ..lol

Relationships can be tough whether there is MI or not.

[Crazy Hitch]

I always maintain - honesty is the best policy with others.

If it were me?

I'd be upfront and honest with him about exactly what you have and what your symtoms are.

I wouldn't hold off a relationship.

If he doesn't like you at your worst he doesn't deserve you at your best.

[doublenickel]

people like the doc there need to walk a day in our shoes. only then will he deserve to open his trap.about bp